The Night Before [Brenner]

[Stefan Dornkirk]

Ash 4th, 121

Stefan arrived at Dornkirk manor, and for the first time, it wasn't his home. It had been his entire life, and would be again, someday, but that evening, it wasn't. He had left his new bride in the company of his brother-in-law at the man's newly purchased estate, White Knight Manor. The newlyweds had taken up residence in the Manor after he hadn't been able to find them a townhouse that suited their needs.

Eitan would be away for significant parts of the year performing his duty as XO of the Noble Gambit, and, as he had no wife of his own yet, Delia was happily renovating the parts of that manor that needed updating. Stefan was more than pleased to see to the management of the estate in the times when Eitan was away, and more than happy to spend as much time with him as possible when he was at home. It was advantageous to all parties, and allowed the new Dornkirk couple some freedom outside the eyes and control of either of their prestigious families.

In the morning, before dawn, Stefan and Brenner would leave; setting out on the first leg of their Great Work, and it had been decided, at Stefan's request, that it would make the most sense for him to spend the night before in his childhood home. The under butler let him in, the same as he always had, with no special ceremony other than offering Stefan his polite congratulations on his nuptials. As he made his way up the stairs to the wing of the mansion that housed Brenner's apartments he reflected on his relationship with his brother since the start of the year. The new year celebration had brought them the inkling that had evolved into the expedition they were to embark on. Glade had been a time of seeking knowledge to learn if the infant of an idea could grow to maturity. Searing had been as busy a time for Stefan as he'd ever known. Training of every kind had taken his life over, which did not mean he'd been able to take time from his work. The Windworks too had bustled, between refitting the Noble Gambit and creating the Nachtherr from schematic to completion in just the one season, Stefan was as busy there as he'd ever been as well.

He had seen more of Brenner, but most of it had been public, so, in another sense, he'd seen less of him than usual. Certainly less of him than he would have liked, particularly considering the other thing that had kept Stefan, sometimes literally, running. His wedding.

A grimace crossed his lips as he came to his brother's door and realized he wasn't sure if he should knock. He'd never felt like he should before, but things that had passed between them once Stefan had announced the hasty culmination of his very long psudo-engagment to Miss Delia Angevin, made him hesitate.

Compromising he knocked and then stuck his head in the door,

"Brynn? Are you in? I'm just arrived and wasn't sure whether you were lingering over dinner or had already retired." He could have asked a servant, but the thought simply hadn't occurred. At no other time would Stefan have given a second thought to entering Brenner's rooms and drinking his excellent brandy while waiting for him.

[Brenner Dornkirk]

A quizzical grunt answered Stefan's query before any verbal response was conjured, but only a brief pause elapsed before he replied in Common:

"Yes. Enter..." He might have raised his voice a bit, but it was still a strain to hear him through the heavy, wooden door so it didn't sound as though too much effort had been applied to the answer.

Stefan would enter to find Brenner seated at his desk in a long, silken robe of dark crimson, with vines of gold trim snaking a weaving their winding paths across the fabric. His hand rounded a crystal tumbler of the same make as the half-empty decanter of dark amber spirit that rested atop a pile of papers. The elder Dornkirk would see the younger draining his tumbler and letting it linger at a stark angle against his lips, as if every last molecule was desired and sacred. After a lingering pause, he tilted his head back down and let the tumbler rest on the desk.

"Fetch yourself a glass, if you'd care to join me in a nuptial toast." He offered without looking up from the task at hand which was, of course, the work of uncorking the decanter and refilling the crystal vessel he'd just emptied.

"Have you done your conjugal duties, yet?" Brenner wondered aloud, ere Stefan had a chance to reply to his initial offer. "It hardly seems meet that you should spend your honeymoon in my apartments, when I'll already be spiriting you away from your blushing bride for a month right after the wedding..." He sounded more wearily amused than guilty about that prospect. There was no slur to his speech, but Stefan knew that the servants refilled Brenner's decanter at least daily, so all the damage done to the bottle had been done tonight.

[Stefan Dornkirk]

Stepping fully into the room the elder brother observed the young, not at all feeling as though he were the eldest. He felt, if he were being honest with himself, as though he were a penitent, coming before the one who would decide his fate, hat in hand. His hat had been left downstairs with the butler, of course, so he moved to the cabinet where the glasses and various imbibable beverages were kept to fetch himself a matching tumbler and make his way over to fill it from the decanter. It hardly mattered what they were drinking, Brenner wouldn't have anything less than excellent. Not unless he was in the mood for diving through dive bars.

"I would rather a fraternal toast, if it's all the same to you." He rather hoped it was not all the same to Brenner, that they could drink together as they had since they'd been allowed to start drinking. A gentle rain had started just before he'd arrived, and was playing musically against the large windows of the suite. Everything felt so normal, so familiar and comforting, it was very hard to think that this was no longer his home. Change did not come easily, and even the welcome change of what he hoped would be a successful marriage and moving into a home that, though it did not belong to him, had a great chance of being a happier one than Dornkirk Manor has often been.

But this was the sanctuary, the place where he could go to always be himself, to be safe. Only now, for the first time, he felt half unwelcome.

The question caught him off guard and he looked down into the dark liquid in his glass, as though answers might be found at the bottom. Lifting the tumbler he drank off half of it before he could make himself answer, feeling ashamed.

"No, I..." He cleared his throat, "We were both so tired after the wedding and I thought, as we married in such haste, she might want a little more time to... adjust to the idea before I imposed on her." There was more, so much more, but he couldn't say any of it. Keeping his eyes down, unable to look at the person he cared for more than any other, despite his newly forged matrimonial connection, he said, quietly but clearly,

"I will go, if you would prefer to be alone with your thoughts and duties this night. If you still have important work to do, I wouldn't want to interrupt you." It was the last thing he wanted, Brenner would know by his tone and posture that Stefan would hate to leave, but also that he would hate more to disturb his brother when it wasn't wanted.

They had seen surprisingly little of each other in the days since Stefan had made his proposal to Miss Delia Angevin and been accepted. They had had a moment, in his dressing room at the wedding, before he stepped out to pledge himself to her, but it hadn't felt like enough. Not nearly.

The strange coldness that had sprung up between them had definitely begun the night he'd told Brenner, the same evening he'd proposed. Brenner had been the first one hed told, though, with the long afternoon spent with the Angevin's word had likely reached their mother, and thus, perhaps Brenner also had known. Stefan cast back to that evening, so similar to this one, and only a couple of weeks before.

~~~~

81 Searing 121,

Wild enthusiasm was not something that Stefan Dornkirk escribed to, but it could be said that he was elated. The proposal had gone far better than he had hoped, both the act itself and the general reaction of Delia's family. He had been required to spend the whole of the afternoon and then attend dinner, with the family, which he hadn't even hated. They had been open to him, friendly. Even the Her Dowarger Ladyship had only made comments about him that even he had been able to see as secretly approving.

As soon as he had been released, kissing the hands of Grandmother, mother, and daughter in turn and shaking hands with both father and son, Stefan had made his way back to the Manor. He did not want to see either of his parents, not yet. He would tell them at breakfast, so he made his way through a side entrance. The servants knew that when he did this he was usually deep in thought over a project and would not wish to be disturbed. It was not his office or laboratory that he made his way up the stairs two at a time towards, however. When he arrived at his brother's main door he didn't bother knocking, they had been in and out of each other's space so constantly since infancy that the thought didn't even enter his mind.

"Brynn!" He called out as he entered, "Please tell me you're at home and not off with that great beast of a man Lightborn planning our assault on all the evils that plague the world. I need to speak with you." His tone and language were jovial, almost laughing as he looked about to locate his sibling.

[Brenner Dornkirk]

"As the bridegroom wishes..." Brenner conceded through the whine that accompanied the long stretch of tired limbs as he arched his back against the upright oak of his chair. He swiveled halfway round to watch Stefan make for the liquor and help himself to the proffered drink.

A dark glint of amusement shone in Brenner's eyes as Stefan worked his way through answering the squirm-inducing question posed.

"And here I thought this whole slapdash rush to the altar was in hopes of planting a seed of Dornkirk to germinate whilst we were away." He swiveled partway back toward the desk to extend a languid arm toward the decanter and pour another formidable portion of schnapps. He hadn't been drinking much over the past few weeks of preparing for the mission, so it spoke volumes that he was drinking alone before such an early and important morning.

"No important work." Brenner assured him, as he held his tumbler aloft and stared through the amber contents at the distorted image of Stefan that lay behind the crystal and the spirit. "Just this."

* * *

"Come, come!" Was the prompt and playful reply that answered Stefan's jocular greeting. There was amusement in his tone that might have been mysterious for a moment, before the door swung open and Stefan was met with a grim expression from the towering 'great beast of a man' he'd just mentioned. Lightborn grunted and met Stefan's gaze with a snarl upon his lips.

"I was just leaving." He muttered in his gravely basso, as he brushed by leaving Stefan to regard Brenner doubled over with the laughter he'd valiantly suppressed until the large man was out of earshot.

"Empty Throne, Stef! That couldn't have been better timed for hilarity! I might almost believe the gods gave a shite about our little lives if just to create such artful scenes." As his guffaws dwindled to chuckles, he gestured for Stefan to step further into his boudoir.

"Anyway... What news? More progress with the Nachtherr?"

[Stefan Dornkirk]

At the sound of Brenner's voice, Stefan was just on the brink of sweeping in to find his sibling when a looming shadow suddenly blocked his path.

"Oh." He said, blinking his surprise, and then "Good, then. Good evening." Too pleased to even realize he was likely being rude, again. Turning back into the room without giving Lightborn another thought for the moment he closed the door behind himself, moved over to where his brother was struggling to breathe, and patted him on the back, perhaps a bit harder than was required.

"Steady on, Brynn, try not to spoil my good news be choking yourself to death before I can even tell you." Stepping to the drinks cabinet he poured them both glasses of whatever happened to come under his hand first and brought them over. When they had both had a swallow and Brenner had regained his full ability to inhale, Stefan set glass onto a side table.

"No, well, yes, actually, the ship is coming along swimmingly. We're still on schedule for you and Eitan to come by the Windworks for the demonstration in two days' time. I've given the workers on that level a day off so it'll be only the three of us. We'll have the run of the place and you should be able to get a good feel the seat of your first command." Being reminded of his recent triumph in places other than the marriage market only added to the elder Dornkirk's good mood. Taking Brenner's drink away and placing it beside his own he spread his arms wide and said,

"Embrace me, brother, for I am to be married."

Stepping forward he wrapped Brenner in a tight hug, not yet having seen the look on his face or the odd way his body went stiff just before Stefan's arms encompassed him.

[Brenner Dornkirk]

"Fine, fine." Brenner said, blowing a raspberry to dismiss his present inclination toward silliness, and then clearing his throat and straightening out the front of his shirt as if working from the outside in.

"Oh, it's that kind of news, is it?" He chuckled as he saw Stefan making a B-line for the liquor cabinet. Brenner hadn't been drinking as much of late, but something had Stefan in a tizzy so he would play along without a trice of arm-twisting needed. He took the first sip after a clink against the opposing tumbler, and then clasped the crystal between both hands in his lap as he heard Stefan out.

He parted his lips to post a correction- He'd taken temporary command of The Searing Victory on a semi-regular basis since assuming the role of XO, and the Nachtherr wasn't to be under his captaincy beyond this one mission, unless Stefan knew something he didn't. But perhaps he did, and that was what had him so energised at the moment. Whatever the case, he didn't let slip the correction lest he impede the atypically enthusiastic verbosity erupting forth from Mount Stefan, just then.

He blinked as Stefan relieved him of his freshly poured schnapps, and stood as he was implored to open his arms to his sibling, which he did obligingly. And then perfunctorily. His reaction to this unexpected news shot through his form like a lightning bolt, shifting his ease to tension in that split second of comprehension. The embrace was something of a relief, as it gave Brenner a moment to regain control of his expression and to attempt to conjure up some congratulatory phrase that wouldn't ring as hollow as his heart felt.

Even with the benefit of extra time, all he was able to muster was:

"Well done you!" As he leaned away from Stefan's torso, and clapped a fraternal hand on his back. He did wear a smile, though it didn't even approach the level of resplendence Stefan's reached. "And, um..." He reached behind himself, fumbling a bit for the drink Stefan had kindly poured and unkindly removed from his grasp right at the moment he most needed it.

"Who is the lucky bride?" His fingers found the crystal and closed about the vessel, drawing it promptly to his lips and tipping it back as he awaited a reply.

[Stefan Dornkirk]

Stefan could tell something was wrong almost immediately. The way Brenner hugged him was at once tighter than usual, and stiffer. The smile that greeted him when they parted was a good one, it would have been mistaken for genuine pleasure by probably anyone else. But Stefan had been there as Brenner learned to layer on happiness, wrap himself in bravado he did not feel, and project himself as a man for others to envy.

Of course, now Brenner was a man that others should envy, he had earned his place in each area of society his overlapping roles afforded him. Which made the mask slipping into place now, with only Stefan in the room with him, make even less sense. But, perhaps his brother was only shocked by the very unexpected nature of the news when they had been buried, noses to the grindstone of the expedition for the whole season.

His own smile did not disappear but it mellowed into something more normal for him when he was with his sibling. Stefan could explain and give Brenner a moment to collect himself. Following the lead in the direction of the drinks, he retrieved his own and emptied it before answering.

"At the Gala, I asked Eitan if he would arrange a meeting between Delia and I. Between work on the Nachtherr and the Expedition it was a while before we were able, but I've been visiting here once in a while, three or four times since then. I wasn't sure she would agree to even see me, let alone accept my suit. I didn't even go there this afternoon with the intention of asking for her hand, only declaring my intention and feel out how she felt on the matter. She did not see a point in waiting any longer, and I thought it would soothe our parents if I was wed, with at least the option of fathering an heir, before both their sons ran off into the literal maw of danger."

Stefan's tone was still jovial, teasing a little, but it wasn't the jolly outpouring with which he'd entered. He glanced over at Brenner as he spoke, trying to assess how his words were landing now that the subject at hand was known.

"Delia suggested I propose where her mother could see, smart woman that she is, so I did. I went to the Admiral after, of course, but it was mostly perfunctory, as the details have been gone over several times already. They made me stay to supper, which I suppose I should have expected. Even Lady Perpetua didn't have anything worse to say than that I'd come woefully unprepared, not thinking to bring a dinner jacket. Which I took as practically a compliment considering I also hadn't brought a ring." He gave a little laugh at his own expense.

Moving to sit on the arm of the couch he went on,

"I'm not sure if I should ask mother for her's or pick one out myself. I'm rubbish at this sort of thing. I'm quite hoping you'll save me from myself and tell me what to do. If I am to buy a new one you'll have to tell me what's in fashion right now. I'm in your hands, as usual, brother."

[Brenner Dornkirk]

"I..." Brenner paused, not having plotted anything for the sentence beyond the subject. "...I just had no idea any of this was in the works." He blinked, glancing at their empty glasses and then taking a welcome excuse to turn away from his brother to let the straining muscles of his face relax into the scowl that felt more natural given the circumstances. He stalked slowly, taking the time to manage himself- to stave off the threat of tears stinging the corners of his eyes. To be the last to know about something so immense felt like a grave betrayal. As though the person he'd known longer than any other was a stranger to him, and to think what that said about his other, more recent relationships.

"So, Eitan has been party to all of this?" He inquired over his shoulder before realising he was even speaking. "How close you've grown these past few months." He observed with feigned mildness as he grabbed the dusty neck of an old bottle of schnapps he'd been stowing for a dire day. He took a deep breath before pivoting and returning to the desk to pour for them both.

"Oh blimey, you should know by now never to visit the Angevins without a dinner jacket stowed in the coach at the least." He tsked a few times until his lips were muted by the rim of his glass as he tipped it back and gulped it down- barely allowing the antique vintage enough time upon the tongue to be savoured as was meet.

"I... would have to consult mother on so womanish a matter as jewelry, or..." He knitted his brow. No, not Jane. She was many things, but hardly modish. She couldn't rightly afford to be and her interests seemed to lie elsewhere. "I'm sorry, I'm only quite taken aback by all of this out of the blue when my focus has been wholly on the future of our Fatherland and how to better it. Anything beyond that just feels aberrant to me, just now." He was still working through the how and why of his feelings at the moment, so he certainly didn't feel equipped to articulate them to someone else. Least of all someone who presently felt like a Verräter.

[Stefan Dornkirk]

The set of Brenner's shoulders told a story, one Stefan yearned to take his time reading. His brother was the one place he was least likely to be misunderstood or judged, but that did not mean he never missed the mark with his other half. He couldn't concentrate on reading body language while there were words being spoken, so he gave the job to the parts of his mind that were better at it than his consciousness and listened instead.

"I thought it more proper to ask her brother than to just show up." He said it carefully, smile still in place but slowly falling like the setting of the sun. Brenner's words did not sound upset, but their casualness had something of the jagged about it.

"I didn't want mother involved, in case Delia wasn't interested. We've almost come together and had it fall apart so many times I didn't want another almost-scandal associated with either family."

Normally Stefan would have been looking down at his hands or some other fixed point, but his eyes wanted his brother, so they followed him through the motion of fetching the bottle. Accepting the glass when it was brought to him he held it, warming the excellent vintage between his hands before tasting it. It was probably the best bottle in Brenner's collection. It was a compliment and a gift and Stefan could not understand why it tasted like sorrow.

His eyes had dropped to the glass briefly but they rose again, seeking Brenner's face with the same wide-eyed adoration he'd first cast into a cradle he'd had to be lifted to see into. His smile came back to full at the teasing, though the look in his eyes did not change.

"I'm a fool without you, as usual. I certainly felt it sitting to dinner in my tea clothes. I should have Dienerin follow us around writing down your wisdom so I have it when you're off saving the world."

The mention of the expedition had him nodding,

"Just so. I've been so caught up in the planning and work, being about to see more of you than I have in years. I meant to mention to you that I was visiting her, but it slipped my mind whenever we were together." It was entirely true, whenever Brenner was close by thoughts of Delia faded into mist and blew away.

"As I said, I only meant to find out, tonight, if she would allow me to begin courting her again. Then to come to you as soon as I had her answer, for advice or consolation depending on what it was. I thought you'd want to be there when I told our parents. Though," He mused with a sigh that gave away a little of how tired he was, "For all I know, Lady Angevin sent mother a note the moment she saw me take a knee."

Taking another sip of the drink, then setting it on the little table at the side of the couch he was perched on, he let the last of the masks of the evening fall away and gave Brenner a hopefully little smile that had always belonged only between them.

"Things will move quickly now, if it is to be done before we leave the city. I won't have ought to do with it, of course, except to show up on the day. There is still too much important work to be done."

[Brenner Dornkirk]

"Well." Brenner pursed his lips, "I'm pleased to hear that her brother, at least, rates such a courtesy..." He trailed off as his tongue was set to other work- that being schnapps-appreciation.

"Mm." He grunted, by way of acknowledging Stefan's aversion to informing their lady mother of his suitorly attentions prematurely. He could understand that, and she and Brenner were certainly close. Perhaps that was the reasoning behind this oversight? That he feared Brenner might let slip the news to Sylana? That still displayed a disturbing lack of faith, but was less egregious a slight than pure thoughtlessness.

Brenner perched himself on the edge of his desk as his brother explained himself. Stefan seemed to be treading water in a riptide, talking more than usual as if hoping to keep his head above the tense waters- gasping for breaths of normalcy amidst the awkwardness. Brenner was grateful for his verbosity, though, as it granted him a reprieve. The more Stefan was speaking, the less he would be expected to fill the silences whilst his mind churned ahead like the assembly line at the Windworks.

When there was eventually a lull, Brenner cleared his throat to stall for another moment's time before speaking.

"So." He began, eyes downcast and firmly fixed on the brown liquor he was twirling in the tumbler between his knees. Even at this distance from his face, the smoky aroma wafted up to offer the calming effect of the pleasantly familiar that complemented the calming effect of the accompanying inebriation.

"Will you tell them at breakfast?" If Stefan hoped to beat the Angevin's to the proclamation, Brenner imagined that would have been the absolute latest unless he intercepted the morning post to buy an extra few hours.