This must be grace. [Sivan]

[Urs Wardell]

“A break-in?”

Urs looked to Sivan, the concern obvious in his face. “When? Are - you weren’t hurt, were you?” No. Unless - had it happened since they last met, he wondered.

He thought about Mother’s book. There were pages in the back. Lists of names. Mother had helped a lot of people. She’d kept their secrets and their contact.

And, beyond those pages, there were names to be Called. Creatures that might be willing to offer protections, or power, if Urs paid their price. Mother had provided her warnings. She’d detailed suitable offerings. There were risks and obvious dangers to reaching out to hungrier Courts.

But there were risks and dangers to doing nothing.

“I wouldn’t want you to be cannon fodder,” Urs said, leaning closer to Sivan as opened the door. Urs blushed, pressing against the elf as he navigated through to the tavern. Everything he did felt clumsy. It’d been so long since, well. He was quick, usually. This - whatever was between him and Sivan, was different.

He liked it.

Urs separated from Sivan only long enough to order and pay for drinks. Ciders, because he’d liked those, and the wine here tasted sour.

He found the elf in a booth in the back, a bit aways from the crowd. Everyone seemed worried, or too drunk to be worried. He didn’t need magic to see the fear. The concern. The future was so uncertain for them, for anyone. This was the price of war. He wondered if the people here worried more for their prince or for their own lives.

Urs slid a drink to Sivan and sat next to him. He liked being close.

“...are you good at sword-fighting?” He asked, not really sure how to bring the conversation to what he really wanted to discuss. “Your neighbor’s been giving you lessons, you mentioned.”

[Sivan]

"A break-in," he confirmed, but gave Urs' shoulders another gentle squeeze. "But you needn't worry. The spirits are on alert now. My neighbor is a talented swordsman and is keeping an eye out. He's taken me under his wing for some reason, perhaps because he came from Silfanore with bad news."

When Urs arrived at the booth with ciders, Sivan smiled. It was sort of secluded for a public indoor place, and he wondered if that meant Urs wanted a dark corner for dark deeds. There was a thrill in his belly at the thought. Once Urs was seated, Sivan gently moved closer until their hips were touching. He could say it was just to help ward off the lingering winter chill.

"Thank you. Ah... I am still a novice, but he says that I have a talent for it. Just... no skill yet. But I will work on it. I like having physical activities. They clear my mind. There isn't as much to do in the garden when it's this cold, so it gives me something else to do. And my friend Torin... I need to introduce you. He is a runeforger and I think he wants to make me something to help keep me alive.

"Oh, and the bad news Laurevere brought... my father died." He frowned. "We weren't close, but it is sad. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. I suppose it feels strange that I will most certainly never see him again, but I ought to feel more..." Of course, Sivan wondered if there was something wrong with him. He hadn't really bonded with any of his family. It took him seasons before he felt comfortable when a handsome man had shown interest in him.

"Oh, well. To us?" He smiled and held up his cider to toast. After he took a sip, he attempted to be nonchalant about putting his arm around Urs' shoulders again, but his heart was hammering in his chest. He hoped the surgeon couldn't feel it through his ribs.

[Urs Wardell]

D A T E

When Sivan pushed in closer to him, Urs leaned closer to him. He felt their hips touch. Urs moved his leg against Sivan’s.

It felt like Glade. Like breaking spring ice. It was like morning, like the sun sneaking through his curtains and coloring his room gold. Urs drank from his cider, smiling, savoring everything. A bubble of feeling caught inside him, and he realized, belatedly, that he was happy.

“To help keep you alive?” Urs echoed, confused. He barely understood runeforging. The wizards at the Tower dabbled in all sorts of magic but he remembered something about enchantments and runes. “And, yeah - I think that’d be nice,” he said, taking another sip of his cider, “To meet your friends.”

“Oh - I’m sorry. Even if you weren’t close - ,” he swallowed, thinking.

Mother. And whoever his family was in Zaichaer. It felt so strange to think of them, here, with Sivan.

“To us,” Urs echoed, blushing even more than he was when Sivan put his arm around him. He took another sip, and tried, as graceful as he could, to lean back. Urs noticed how dim the lights were, here, how candles burned at tables, there, and how everyone was reduced to silhouettes. It felt like, for a moment, the world was just him and Sivan.

He felt the elf’s heart and he felt his own.

“I’m glad I -,” he hesitated, drinking again, giving himself the courage he needed, “That we met, when we did. Even if I embarrassed myself.”

[Sivan]

"Ahh... he made New Year presents. A dagger for his apprentice. Bracers for his lover. They all have magical properties. I assume he made something for me because he invited me to his party. But here I am..."

He squeezed again. A part of him said he was overdoing those squeezes, but Urs hadn't protested, so he knew they were safe. This was like learning a new language and that was one word that worked. And he smiled his thanks for the condolences; someday he might talk out his feelings for his family to Urs if the man was interested. He certainly wanted to know more about Mother, though if he never found out, that would also be all right.

"I wish you weren't embarrassed," he said. "I was embarrassed, too. I thought we might talk about that, though." He took a deep breath that quavered on the way out. "I think I said... in my terrible Common... that I... don't really feel those urges. Not until after I know someone. That is true. I... have felt things, or at least the potential for things, with a very few people here. My two close friends. My..." He laughed, embarrassed. "My master, even. I haven't pursued anything with any of them. I have just recognized that I know them well enough that my body would respond. And you... I... got the impression that you had put those desires aside. That they were a thing of the moment. And of the drink. And that is all right. I want to be closer to you. As friends, if that is all you want. But if... if you want... physical things... I don't really know what I'm doing. I mean, I know what goes where... But..." He cursed in Rivach, then switched back to Common.

"I want to know your mind," he said, turning earnest blue eyes on Urs. "And... perhaps your body if..."

[Urs Wardell]

Ever since they’d first met, Urs had fought against his feelings.

He remembered how much he’d been taken by the elf, back then, in the tavern. Urs had liked that Sivan was taller. He’d like how easily he’d smiled. He’d liked that his eyes reminded him of the sky.

Urs had lived so long without the sky.

The Midden was cold and wet and dark. Kalzasi could be those things, too, no matter how gilded its jewel-colored roofs.

Sivan was only ever warm and gold and blue. He was like summer. And Urs only ever wanted summer. He’d had enough of everything else.

And then…

“...if - if what?” Urs asked, completely aware of how close they were, where they touched already: the legs, the hips, along their sides. He wondered if Sivan could feel his heart beating. Or if Urs was feeling the elf’s heart. He wasn’t sure. There was something, there, between them, and pounding. He felt it thump with his breath. Urs imagined he felt everything.

His eyes wandered from the soft wheat of Sivan’s hair to the sky blue of his eyes. He noticed how gold his skin glowed, even by candlelight. His eyes traced the soft curve of his nose until he saw the pink of his lips and -

“...I want to know your mind,” he said, ever-closer. He was whispering now but they were close enough, barely apart, there wouldn’t be any need to be louder. “And your body, Sivan.”

And then dared to feel everything he’d tried so hard to not. Urs remembered how much he liked Sivan and how that like had lingered for seasons. Friends, or otherwise, Urs wanted Sivan, he wanted to be around him, to be with him, and for Sivan to be -

Urs wanted summer and nothing else.

“...can I kiss you?”

[Sivan]

When his own words were reflected back upon him, he did smile like the summer sun rising though it was quickly marred by a crestfallen look of something like confused desire.

"Yes, but... I don't know how..."

He looked down in shame. It was one thing to be different; it was another to remember that this difference left him largely ignorant about things when the time finally came to do them. When he looked up, he was worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

"But I... I want to learn," he said earnestly. "If you will be patient and... teach me..."

Turning into Urs, he reached up, fingers gently stroking his jawline, then fingertips touching his lips. It all felt strange and new, but also good. He could only hope Urs would be kind and generous and understanding. A little shudder ran through him; he was unused to these reactions from his body. Most of the time he just saw his body as the tool by which he accomplished things, not something to enjoy or share.

He laughed quietly at himself, then shook his head as if shaking off some burden. Then he looked directly into Urs' eyes. It wasn't exactly confidence, but he had made a decision.

"Please, Urs. Kiss me." He would just have to be a quick study of those lips, that mouth, the hidden pink of his tongue. He could stand a little teasing for inexperience if that was the price of knowing what it felt like to kiss Urs finally, on terms shared between them.

[Urs Wardell]

Urs held Sivan’s hand against the cut of his jaw. His mouth opened when Sivan's fingertips brushed against his lips. He felt, then, only want. It was strange, this, Urs decided. The candle-light colored everything red-gold. It was like a dream.

His heart felt like it would break out from his chest. His body shuddered with every beat, each time louder and heavier than the last. Urs thought about it, that red inside him, alive and burning like fire. Urs savored Sivan’s touch. He delighted in it. He allowed himself to fully feel and, in that moment, he felt something like a crack sound through the whole of his being.

Magic escaped him and thrummed with power.

Sight wrapped him and Sivan and shone. He felt them both and saw where they felt together. They glowed where they touched. His jaw, his hand, their ribs, their legs. Colors bloomed inside and reached out, across to the other. Something was there, where their auras mixed, something that was more bold than anything he’d ever seen. It felt like a song. It played soft, to his ears, but built towards something louder.

“I will, I will, I will.”

Yes, he would be patient. Yes, he would teach. And yes, of course, yes, he would kiss him. There wasn’t anything else he’d wanted to do.

Urs slipped a leg over Sivan’s lap, moved more by his imagination than practice. It wasn’t like he’d done this much before. He moved, like he’d thought he was supposed to, like he thought Sivan would like. He found himself on Sivan’s lap, not gracefully, but hungrily, because he felt and saw and heard and smelled only want.

Urs kissed Sivan, his lips opened against the elf’s, still holding Sivan’s hands against the edge of his jaw.

[Sivan]

All the little things Sivan managed to do, Urs affirmed until the slight human was straddling his lap. The elf almost bolted upright, but he made himself relax. He had seen plenty of couples—sometimes more than a couple—do worse in places like this without upsetting anyone, and besides, he trusted Urs. He felt his Rune of Semblance tingle, then poured aether into it, his senses expanding to find that Urs was doing the same. He hadn't thought to do that, though he hadn't really done this before, so he wasn't surprised it hadn't occurred to him.

He had felt Urs' aura before, and now he could tell that the rush of heat was entirely sincere. Urs liked him. He made a little noise into the sweetness of his mouth. One hand stayed on his jaw, the other came down to the small of his back to keep him steady. It hadn't really occurred to him how slender the man was until he was in his lap, his hand feeling the heat of him through his clothes. From his travels to the menial labor he did for Master Jacun and in his garden, he was the stronger of the two; it seemed Urs liked that, so Sivan felt a flush of pride about it that was entirely new.

Their hearts started to beat in time, perhaps their bodies sensing what their Runes revealed.

His body responded in other ways, making his nerves skitter, though he didn't try to stop. He trusted Urs, but he didn't think he could go much farther in public. But he didn't mind continuing in this vein for a while. He wanted to memorize the way Urs tasted and smelled, experiencing him on a physical level as he had become accustomed to his mind at work and in action.

[Urs Wardell]

Urs felt the elf tense - and then relax.


He was moving fast. Or, faster than he maybe should. Urs saw that hint of shame, of anxiety, the way the blue of Sivan’s aura steeled for a moment before melting. The elf’s own magic sparked and shined, catching against Urs’ own spell. He smiled into Sivan’s lips, noticing how their power ebbed and flowed, the way their Sights flowered into each other.

Urs delighted in his feeling. He thrilled in his magic, in Sense and spell, in touch. Sivan’s hand felt right on his jaw and felt right on his back.

Gold, he decided, tasted like honey.

And safety, he thought, felt like Sivan holding him.

Urs laughed, feeling the tickle of Sivan’s voice inside him. Light and airy and sweet, against his magic, against his tongue. He felt red. He felt fire. And everything against the blue of an endless sky. He felt Sivan’s body respond to him, and a blush so fierce bloomed across Urs’ cheeks he wondered if he might catch ablaze.

Urs felt his body respond to Sivan.

“...uh,” he breathes, remembering he needed air, air that wasn’t Sivan’s breath and so, was lesser.

“I think I said I’d be patient,” he says, adjusting his body so he wasn’t directly on Sivan’s lap. He felt his aura change, his own desire obvious, that he wanted the opposite of leaving his seat. Urs kept the elf’s hand on his back, and the one on his jaw, because he liked where they were too much to have them move.

“...I want what you want. I want you to be comfortable. I want you to have as much fun as I’m having.”

[Sivan]

It was scary, but exciting. He supposed the right word in Common would be exhilarating. Urs trusted his help to make deals with spirits; Sivan trusted his help to learn to love. The way their auras and bodies interacted seemed proof that they were complementary. When Urs slowed his roll, a part of Sivan relaxed, though another part longed for that intensity back. There was a darkness to the man's aura that was more like depth than true darkness. There were secrets and hurts, but not knowing them didn't worry him; he would learn in time. He could sense a desire to trust from the man that was more than just trusting his body to him.

Sivan's cheeks were flushed, his lips ruddy from kissing. He smiled, shyly as though they were sharing a secret, though plenty of eyes had witnessed their lip-locking.

"I am having fun," he averred. "But this is a lot for me. This is more than I have ever..." He bit his lip, then sort of shrugged it off.

He leaned in to kiss Urs again, though it was just a few exploratory things before he leaned back.

"I would like more drinks and more kisses. We should have supper so I don't have to carry you home." He flashed a quick grin. "And I would like to walk you home and... kiss you on your doorstep. And say good night." There was a reluctance there, but he wanted to do things in a way that made them both comfortable. "And then... perhaps... in a few days, if we haven't been bombed by the Zaichaeri fleet, you can come over for food and drink and if it's warm... we can lay on the grass in my garden and look at the stars..."

That last might have been a euphemism for sex, but Urs would have to wait and see.

fin.