Birds and Bees [Torin]

[Sivan]

Sivan listened attentively. He needed this information from a source he trusted, and Torin had been with his man for as long as Sivan knew him; at least, he thought as much. It had been a quiet thing at first. It felt good to have his hand held. He felt more connected to Torin again, less careful than he had been since his threshold sickness.

It all made sense. Urs had agreed to move slowly, but Sivan was relativey certain that he wanted those things with Urs. The body knew what it wanted once the mind was made up, it seemed. Then, he felt as though he had to push through some things. His hand curled a bit, hooking into Torin's grasp. He set his tea down.

"I wanted to apologize for when I came to visit you when you were drifting through the Aetherium," he said after clearing his throat awkwardly. "I panicked and I bit you, hoping the pain would ground you. It did, but... I should have done something sooner when you started... I, ah... I'm sorry my body reacted to what you were doing. I would not have taken advantage of you, but I was surprised and... I suppose I know you well enough now that I can acknowledge... that, ah..." He cursed in a couple of different elven languages. Common could still be difficult when he was a bit overwrought.

"I mean, I meant no disrespect to you or to him. I would never try to endanger what you two have. I just... it's just I love you and I haven't had a friendship like this before and I apologize for making it strange between us. I'm sorry." He gulped; it was either that or keep up the repetitious apologizing.

[Torin Kilvin]

"Please," Torin said, sounding quite a bit like he was actually pleading, "please don't apologize for coming to help me or for what you did. If you'd let me... go further I would have hated myself."

He had been, still was, embarrassed and mortified, but if he had done more he wouldn't have been able to trust himself around Sivan, and the idea might have spiraled out to include all of his non-sexual friends.

"You did just as I would have wanted you to. I promise. I know I apologized at the time but I was pretty out of it and I want you to know that I'm sorry that I did... that, without your permission." There was a reasonable chance that the situation had closed any doors that might have been beginning to peek open between them where physical affection was concerned. That Sivan was still comfortable hugging him, having his handheld, it gave Torin hope, but he didn't let it be anything beyond.

But then, as his brain processed through what Sivan was saying, not wholly understanding where the other man's mind was coming from but beginning to get an inkling his flush changed from comfortable shyness to something hotter.

"Sivan," He said the name only to realize he didn't know how to say more. His stomach was beginning to knot itself up but he felt it was right, in the face of the honesty he was being given, to offer his own.

"Sivan, I don't think that, even in the state I was in... it would have been taking advantage. I knew it was you. I didn't think you were Aurin. I don't think I could have thought you were in that state. In a real way, I was only seeing the Aetherium reality of self." The technical bit helped steady his voice and he let the part of his mind that loved puzzles take the idea and run away with it so his heart could try and speak for a little while.

"I don't know what I want, not really. But being near you, having you close, that time you let me nap in your bed and you held me. I wanted, I want it. I want you. I love you." The last was very quiet, as though he were quite afraid to say it. "I don't know if I'm in love, I don't really know what that is or what it is supposed to feel like. It can be whatever you want it to be, or nothing but... Please don't be sorry loving me."

After a long shaky breath he managed to glance up to gauge how his words were landing.

[Sivan]

Sivan had wanted him to go further. A part of him had wanted to let him continue while they had his threshold sickness to blame, and that didn't make him feel good about himself. He had stopped it, of course, but he had been swayed by temptation. He supposed his actions were more important than his thoughts, but he hadn't been able to forgive himself for those thoughts yet.

His eyes widened as Torin laid things out.

As soon as Torin looked up again, Sivan was lunging toward him, but only so he could sit in his lap and wrap his arms around him. He rested his cheek against Torin's hair and, after a moment, the tension drained out of him.

"I don't know what I want either," he admitted in a shaky voice. He wasn't jealous of Aurin, and he was glad that Torin didn't seem jealous of Urs. Of course, he didn't know how Aurin and Urs would feel about this, whatever came of it. It was confusing, but he hadn't had friends until Kalzasi, nor lovers, and now he had several friends and, perhaps, two lovers. There must have been something in the water.

Sivan didn't know what to say. Finally he laughed.

"You are welcome to come over for a nap whenever you like."

He found he wanted to cry, which was unusual for him no matter what the emotion. And he found himself wondering what this acknowledgement would mean. It was possible Destyn would feel left out, but it was also possible that Destyn would want to be involved in whatever this was as well. Sivan didn't know what to think about that. He supposed Timon would take it all in stride, being a city-bred boy and a Kalzasern citizen.

Sivan was the strange one.

[Torin Kilvin]

Torin didn't have time to realize what was happening until he had a lap full of warm elf wrapping around him and pressing into his hair.

The breath he took in as he immediately wrapped his own arms close about Sivan, if anything, shook more than the one proceeding it. He felt quite like crying, but it was the sort of crying he wanted when Aurin forgave him or he finished a project that had been emotionally exhausting. Letting his head fall to his friend's shoulder he decided not to cry, for now, but maybe he could ask if it was alright later.

The fact that he had so very much pent-up emotion in him concerning Sivan was a surprise. He'd known that their friendship had been growing over time, but he couldn't find the place where the tension had entered it. It had always felt simple, easy, and good. When had his heart decided it wanted Sivan on his lap so that he could wrap around him, surrounded by his smell and touch?

Sivan seemed in around the same state, which was relieving, and mixed an unexpected desire to grin, or even laugh, in with all the rest. When Torin felt the gentle laughter he was feeling rumble through the body in his arms he laughed too, flushing but happy and suddenly shier than his initial confession had left him.

"Thank you. You're welcome to my bed whenever you want too." There was the spare room as well, if Sivan ever stayed late working and needed to sleep but didn't want the addition of Torin's body beside his. He would be sure to mention that, but not just then. Sivan smelled like his garden, and tea, and exotic concoctions, and under all that, there was a soft sort of musk, like rain on clean earth.

"You'll be here more, working, so if you want to use anything, all that I have is yours if you need it."

The bath was nice, but he wasn't about to start suggesting that... yet. He would suggest it, he could feel the want rising in him like steam from the tub, but if he kept thinking about that, Sivan would become aware of it. Quite soon too, considering their relative positions.

"Strangely, after offering everything he owned for Sivan to use, his next words were,

"Thank you." But he clarified without realizing the gratitude might sound strange, "For bringing me back. For letting me be your friend even though you didn't want to at first. For this." The last was punctuated by a slight tightening of Torin's arms so the hold became a hug.

[Sivan]

Torin offered everything like it was nothing. No, he just offered everything as if it was effortless, like breathing was easy, except it wasn't for a moment until Sivan recovered a bit.

"Thank you for pushing me," he managed as a response, "back then, pushing me to talk about my interests until we found shared ones, and even recently, pushing me to feel... things... And please tell me if you don't want to hear about Urs... all things considered. Or if you don't want me to ask about Aurin. I know this could complicate things, but I don't know enough to see all the ways it might. Just... tell me if I do wrong so I can fix it."

Scents lingered in Torin's hair—fire, soot, metal, leather. He was clean, but hints remained. Or perhaps that was his Rune interpreting things that were essential about him into more mundane sensations.

He turned to face Torin. It was enchanting to see his eyes this close, to exchange the heat of their breath.

"I hope it doesn't bother you, though. Urs. I thought I wasn't meant for love or lust at all, but apparently—what is the phrase? When it rains, it pours?" He laughed a little at his own expense, then bit his lower lip.

"Would it be all right if I kissed you?"

Then he felt the want coming from Torin and he bit his lip harder, cheeks flushing, neck flushing. It was certainly hot in this house.

[Torin Kilvin]

Torin had never pushed someone for friendship, or really much of anything if you didn't count how he'd begged not to be sent away from his first master, or how he occasionally tried to artlessly seduce Aurin. He had felt a little bad for what had obviously been an annoyance to the elf behind the counter of the alchemist shop the first time he'd visited, but, considering how it had turned out, he had let go of that minor guilt.

"I'm just glad you were doing clockwork that day. I mean, I would have seen you again and might have seen it, but it was the first time I'd seen anyone actually doing it and the excitement pushed me out of my desire not to annoy you." He laughed a little, still faintly flushed as though he were close to a fire.

When the conversation turned back to their prospective lovers his face took on a more serious expression, though he was still quite comfortable.

"Aurin has teased me about you and I... ehm, being together. Before I ever thought of it, but still, he was wholly comfortable with the idea. Ask me anything you like, if there is something private for Aurin in there I'll just tell you my parts. And I'd like for you to tell me about you and Urs."

Realizing a tick too late how that might sound he quickly amended, "I mean, anything you want to tell, not... I mean I wouldn't mind hearing about that too but I didn't mean you should tell me. You can tell as much or as little as you like and I won't mind, even if I find out later. I want you to have what you want, with whoever you want."

He was blushing a bit deeper now, particularly since his body was ignoring his intention to remain chaste and showing at least marginal interest in the warm weight on resting on his lap.

Torin's Semblance was running, it was hard to keep it from doing so, it would just come on if he stopped paying attention, but he opened himself to it more intentionally, just a little. Sivan's aura was so pretty, and the man himself took on new dimensions through the magic. It took a lot of effort not to just lean in and nuzzle at the elf's neck and face like a puppy, but then Sivan was asking to kiss him and it fit in perfectly to the little knot of wants.

Turning enough that their faces lined up for kissing without thinking about it he said,

"Only if I can kiss you back?" It was obvious that he was only teasing with the demand. He did want to kiss Sivan in return but, if Sivan wanted, Torin would hold perfectly still and let the other man kiss him as long as he wanted to.

He leaned forward, in instinct and more than a year of daily practice till there was only a breath of space between their mouths and let Sivan decide the pace from there.

[Sivan]

Sivan wanted to explain that he hadn't been annoyed—more anxious than anything else. And the thought of Torin and his lover talking about him in such a fashion made his insides do things that he couldn't quite describe. But Torin acceded to his request so readily, his aura blooming with a complementary desire, and he closed most of the distance between them, but left the last inch up to Sivan. He had kissed Urs the night before, but that didn't mean he knew anything about kissing.

Eyes open, he slowly brought his lips to Torin's. His head canted slightly to the side so their noses wouldn't collide, and then it was soft lips against soft lips, warmth, and a thrill of excitement running through him like the galvanizing force that had turned lyrethillium dust into a sparkling tree.

There was an eagerness behind Torin's teeth that called to him, that terrified him. Passions were unusual for him, and they threatened to devour him. Urs had been similar, but pliant to his will, to his boundaries. Torin seemed to be a similar sort, and Sivan didn't know exactly what that meant, whether two made a pattern, or whether he was reading too much into every detail because he had so little to go on. He didn't know if he ought to act like Torin's confident lover or just be himself—the problem was, he still didn't know who he was when it came to these things.

His hands came up to Torin's face, cupping it, then sliding along his jawline until his slender fingers were raking back his hair. He knew Torin's features like the back of his hand, but it was another thing to touch them, exploratory.

When Torin's lips parted against his, he froze for a moment, then dared teeth to dart his tongue between them in order to taste Torin's tongue.

[Torin Kilvin]

The larger of the two men sitting on the one chair kept quite still, at first, as their lips touched, then pressed. When he felt the hand on his face and moving he remember he was allowed to move and one of his muscle-thick arms came up so the elbow was supporting the middle of Sivan's back and the hand was gently cupping the back of his neck, supporting that too.

They began to move, not exactly together, not knowing yet how the other moved or what pleased them, but together all the same. It might have been clumsy had they been over-eager, but they went slow for each other, the pull and press of mouths trying to learn each other's language in a whole new way to how they'd been learning from each other for the past year. After a moment Torin opened his mouth, only a little, an invitation rather than an invasion, and was rewarded with an experimental press of tongues.

A small sound, quiet but for the quiet of the room and their closeness. A part of his mind was realizing that he'd never had a person sit on his lap before, that it made him, for probably the first time, feel as stable and strong as his body actually was. Aurin had seen to it that he put back on the weight the illness had wasted from him, and he was working on getting back what emotional strain had taken from him before that. He was still what a polite person might call 'trim' but you couldn't see his ribs as individuals anymore.

There, within in his own mouth, he reached out and caressed over Sivan's tongue with his own, so slowly; the drag of rough against rough sending a delicious shiver down his spine to settle, hot, between his thighs and Sivan's backside. If the reaction bothered his friend, they could move apart, he wouldn't be upset, this was only meant to be a kiss, after all.

[Sivan]

Thoughts sort of fluttered out of his head—the rational, connected ones, at least. They could sense each other and sense some of each other's reactions; he hadn't anticipated that. Nor had he anticipated feeling safe on the pedestal of Torin's lap, though he supposed he ought to have if he had given it much thought. Whereas his mind raced at the possibilities—good and bad—with Urs, here it just raced as if his blood was humming in his veins.

Sivan shifted, easing any painful pressure upon Torin's lap, acknowledging that his own body was reacting as well, though he didn't want more than this now. He wanted this now. His arms were strong too, his hands callused and sure. They treated Torin's face as carefully as if it were a piece of delicate clockwork, a masterpiece. He supposed Torin was, at that—a masterpiece.

He didn't know how long it lasted. Time dilated. He wondered if this was what it had felt like to be in the Aetherium or if he was just a naive virgin or both. Eventually, he pulled away just enough so he could turn his head slowly from side to side as if he were saying no, but only so their lips could brush along each other, and then he pulled back a little more so two pairs of blue eyes could lock.

"Do you think... some night when Aurin isn't home... you might come over and... nap with me?"

It wasn't that he wasn't clever enough to play with words; it was that he wanted to speak plainly with his friend. He wanted to fall asleep and wake up in that warmth, not worrying that his spirits would sound alarum that deadly danger had come for him. He wanted to sleep in their skin and see what came naturally of that.

[Torin Kilvin]

Torin had not been able to sense Aurin, or himself, the first time they had kissed. For his second first-kiss, he could. It made everything different, like being able to see a beautiful landscape, being engrossed by the perfection of the moment, then suddenly, being able to hear it as well. It was surprising and delightful and a little swing.

If Torin had considered that Sivan was shifting to either ease the slight pain of having his arousal sat upon, or that he was doing so to show that he was in a similar state, he likely would have told him he didn't need to do so, then become embarrassed enough to not be able to speak. Thankfully he was far too lost in what he was experiencing to realize either thing, and certainly beyond mentioning that a part of him enjoyed the soft sweetness of the pain.

That would be a conversation for another time. Or never. He wasn't sure if the things he liked with his first lover would at all apply to another and wasn't ready to speculate. He wanted things to be as they would be, without expectation.

The gentle way he was being held was new, the soft way Sivan pulled back to brush their lips together, just to feel it, made the smith dizzy. It felt like the fear and delight of being in the woods as a child, where even the fear is no bad thing, adding only thrill. His own hand ran softly through hair that almost matched his own, massaging tentatively at neck and scalp, tingling with the newness of being allowed to touch.

It took Torin's eyes a moment to focus, but when they did, and his mind found meanings for the words being spoken he nodded, only enough to brush their noses together without breaking their gazes.

"I can come by and we can curl up, warm and safe." The image of puppies curling together for heat and comfort came into his mind and he tried to project it out into the aura he knew Sivan could sense. If those puppies spent a little time playfully wrestling or licking, so be it, but the goal would be the closeness. He hoped his New Year's gift would give his friend a sense of safety when he slept, but there was a difference between the logical knowledge of being behind magical wards and the instinctive safety of having someone you trust wrapped close while you drifted.

The sounds of Timon coming into the house and slipping into his own room didn't make the larger blond jump in apprehension or worry, but they did cause him to begin gently untangling himself from the elf on his lap. He would have to think later about what had changed that he was no longer terrified of his apprentice finding him touching someone like a lover. He wasn't going to engage in anything truly private in front of the youth; that would be rude, but he knew he'd be 'caught' kissing Aurin many times and no longer felt guilt over it.

By the time they were standing, Torin had twined his fingers with Sivan's obviously and slowly enough that the other man could pull away if he didn't want it, and was saying,

"Will you stay for dinner? It's just leftovers from the party but all the best things are left. I..." Returning his look from where he'd been eyeing the table laden with all its neatly wrapped party food, he somehow managed to make it seem as if he were the shorter of the two, casting his gaze through lowered lashes.
"I don't want you far away. Not for a little while."

Not ever, but life would not allow him to simply glue everyone he loved to his sides always.