a dream alone

[Florian]

FLORIAN

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.

Searing 2 122 AoS

The garden was vast and manicured, ringed by impenetrable trees. The sun was bright, casting sharp shadows below, but true, comfortable shade always seemed just out of reach. Florian walked through the labyrinth of roses and cosmos, petunias and pansies, hedges and flat stone steps, the sun burning at his neck. It seemed the further he walked the higher the hedges grew, until he could no longer see above them. The sunlight seemed to bore a hole into him, and he ached for the shade and for concealment. But somehow this sun was always directly above him, and the hedges provided little respite no matter how tall they grew.

Florian kicked a loose stone into a flowerbed, and then looked up at the middle of the maze that forked together in two sides. A small snippet of shadow curled around its edges, and he looked at his hand, his left hand, marked by a ring of darkness. He manipulated his hand and the shadow, too, was manipulated, and it spread further into the pathway until there was enough room for him to hide from the overbearing sun and the heat within.

Florian crouched in this section of darkness, huddled with his arms wrapped around him and his legs pressed to his chest. It was difficult to spread them far enough to spread out, but the thought of hiding from the gaze of the sun felt far more comfortable than stretching out his limbs.

"I must be lost," Florian spoke to himself aloud, as if it were more comforting that way.

[Talon]

Warmth spread through his body. It was a comforting sensation, one of the few that he had been allowed to feel in days of late. He could not remember the last time he felt pleasantly warm. Opening his eyes, he stared up into a sun-bright sky that had not a single cloud in it. Endless blue stretched on and on and Talon…could only stare. Emotions that were both too much and too little welled up inside of him and his vision blurred. His eyes misted. All he could do was stare up at the open sunlit sky and yearn.

“Am I dreaming?” He sat up and looked down at himself. He was dressed in humble white linens, his feet bare and all around him was a veritable garden filled with life. He was momentarily dumbfounded. Lifting his hands he looked at them. He looked along his arms and upon them he saw none of the ritual carvings that had been cut into his skin day after day after day. He had to be dreaming. That was okay. He would take this dream and he would have it for however long it stayed. He had come to a realization soon after being imprisoned, he either did not dream at all or he dreamed and remained consciously aware of all dreaming while it happened. It created a curious situation where he could walk through his own dreams as an observer. It certainly helped him to stave off nightmares.

Stories said that the Dreamrealm was the realm of gods. He supposed that was why he could control his own dreams. At the moment though, he felt no need to change the scenery. The sun’s warmth and the verdant garden complete with its hedge maze was comforting.

He missed the sky.

He jumped into the air, spread his wings and took to soaring in a sky that was not real. It was the only freedom he had these days. He would take it for what it was, a moment of peace amidst an endless sea of torment. As he was flying he followed the pattern of the maze. It had no end, nor did it seem to have a beginning. It was as he was banking to the left that he saw someone. He angled his body and folded his wings, drifting down toward the person. As he neared, he immediately recognized the individual.

“The Lysanrin…” He whispered in surprise. Talon spread his wings and caught the air current allowing himself to float down to the top of the nearest hedge so that he could eye the Lysanrin from a perch. Curious to see if the young man was either a manifestation of the dreamscape or something else, Talon extended his senses to the world around him. Slowly, he took hold of the world around him, consciously sculpting it to his vision. He did not try to change much. He simply rearranged the hedge in order to create a small pavilion for the two of them to sit in. He directed part of his will to dismiss the Lysanrin if he were part of the dream as an apparition. When Florian did not disperse but remained, Talon knew that he was no specter. The plants shuddered and shifted, stone rose from the ground and pillars quickly erected themselves until a domed open-air pavilion surrounded them. Talon allowed his feet to rest upon the cool stone, rising into a graceful stand as the hedge he was sitting on melted away into the scenery to become part of the pavilion.

“If you are lost, then so am I.” He folded his wings behind him and peered at the Lysanrin curiously. “You never told me your name.”

[Florian]

Florian was not paying much attention to the sky, but to the ground. He did not notice the shadow of the avialae that perched above him, but he did see the ground shift and a pavilion grow. He looked up to see Talon before him, from where he came and how he did so felt impossible. But it was clearly possible, again, here, where the winged god stood in a pavilion, complete with stone benches and a dome atop pillars. He rose and stepped towards the pavilion, welcoming the breeze it allowed in the space between hedges.

"Florian." He paused. "Florian Albrecht. I was not expecting you." The shadows he had previously manipulated into place receded back towards the hedge as he released them and planted himself on a bench instead. He felt the stone. It seemed real. "It never occurred to me to tell you the first time. Did you escape, or is this another impossible meeting?"

Florian was absolutely diminuative compared to Talon, especially sitting. He had to crane his neck up to even look the god in the face. "You're the god of Justice, aren't you? I was offered Justice once. Not by you, but he knew you." He leaned back on his prosthetic arm and looked from Talon to the palm of his left, the perfect black circle burnt into his grey palm. "I said no. There is no Justice for me. But... you're here anyway." He set his hand back onto the bench, really feeling the rough surface beneath his fingertips, and his head turned towards the Avialae again. It was interesting seeing the god unchained once more, free to spread his wings, free of the carvings on his skin. Had Florian really so boldly offered to assist him? This Florian, who was lost in a hedge-maze, this Florian, who could barely control the trajectory of his own life? This Florian, who took everything he had and ruined it time and time again?

"Isn't that something?" He said, far more softly than he had before.

[Talon]

“Florian.” Talon folded his legs beneath him. He extended his mind across their immediate space in order to create a few soft pillows that rose up out of the stone of the pavilion. He passed his hand over the center of the space between them and a tea set along with some simple fruits, meats and cheeses appeared. Talon picked up one of the cups with steaming tea in front of him. He stared down at it before bringing the cup to his mouth and taking a sip.

“You know, I do not even remember what it tastes like.” He lowered the cup and stared down into the liquid. “You cannot die of starvation as a god.”

He was quiet for a moment after Florian shared his thoughts. He studied Florian. Who was this Lysanrin that he kept meeting in odd places? He did not know but it was clear that Florian had been through a great deal of suffering. If his initial conversation with him had been anything to judge by, the young man’s life had not been a pleasant one.

“I ascended to divinity two years ago.” He rubbed his thumb over the rim of his cup. Talon furrowed his brow as he tried to sift through his memories. It was hard to focus but he knew that was by design. Even in dreams his full mental faculties were not with him. It was frustrating beyond measure but the few lucid moments he had when he was awake were precious to him. He shoved those thoughts aside and focused back on the conversation at hand.

“I had a choice. I could become a tyrant, inflicting what I believed to be my ideals of Justice upon the world or…” He let a long breath flow out of him. “...or I could strive to set an example as a person worth following.”

In his mind, Talon could see very well the kind of tyrant he could have been. It was not lost on him what his capabilities as a warrior were. Even before ascending to godhood he had been considered a sorcerer and warrior of extreme skill. The image of him as a cold and furious deity of wrathful justice slipped into his mind. He suppressed the urge to shudder. Part of him wondered if he should have done that but then he thought on the love he had experienced with his husband and with Rickter. He would have lost that if he had become such a terrifying being. That was not what he wanted.

Talon momentarily felt a welling of sadness and frustration. He dropped his gaze and studied the food whose taste he could not remember and whose only purpose right then was to serve as a distraction. Was he worth following? Had he failed so utterly to be a good and decent person that this was the life he deserved? He tried to pull his memories of every step he had taken since that horrible day in the Warrens. What came to him felt scattered and disjointed. He rubbed his fingers gently over the bridge of his nose and let his thoughts go unfocused again. He would only give himself a headache.

“There is justice for you if you seek it, Florian.” Talon took another sip of the tasteless tea. At least it was warm. “At least, that is what I wanted for people.”

[Florian]

Florian reached for the other up of tea. He knew the taste — he drank it with breakfast, and sometimes in the afternoon. His mother liked tea, and so did he. The cup in his hands was green tea, unsweetened. He didn't know how to describe the taste to Talon, and he didn't think it would change anything, anyway. It had been seasons now that the man was locked away.

"I was promised Vengeance instead. I've wondered what the difference between the two was. I feel like—they're both consequences for actions. What makes one more righteous than the other? Is it the method?" Florian shrugged. "I just seek whatever might let me sleep at night."

"Zaichaer executes witches. It is the law of the land. It is based on the history of the city — my mother told me that Zaichaer used to be protected by mages until the Sundering, and then because of the horrors they wrought afterwards — they have been punished since. Executed. It is the law. But is that Justice, or Vengeance rooted in history?" He took another sip of tea.

"I've just always wondered about where the line is drawn. At least, since I've realized that there was a difference. My mother died, and I could not seek justice for her death. But if I could, what would that even entail?" Florian stood up briefly and moved one of the cushions beneath him. "It was lawful that I was imprisoned, and what they did to me there was sanctioned. You're imprisoned, and I'm sure there is no Imperial law that could protect you. And when we— when we break you out, because we will, when we break you out, will you bring Justice, or will you bring Vengeance? Which do they deserve? Or is it always Justice when you do it?"

Florian looked out among the hedges that surrounded them, forever and ever. "I'm not well educated in the matters of divinity. My mother taught me, and she was very careful to avoid mention of any god. I was much older when I learned this was not usual, but she simply told me that I was destined for great things, and that it was not important." He shrugged. "Sorry, I just...have a lot of things on my mind, and no one really knows the answers."

[Talon]

“I am the god of Justice, Florian. Not the Law. The two are not mutually exclusive.” He reclined slightly, allowing himself the luxury of being able to stretch on a comfortable surface that was not stone or a straw mat.

“Slavery is lawful within the Imperium. It is something I am vehemently against. My people are still enslaved by the empire. Something we have spent generations trying to fight against.” Talon’s jaw flexed as he thought about the thousands of Kathar who were still shackled to the will of the Imperium. It infuriated him more than ever now. Whereas before his imprisonment it has always been a distant thought, now it was front and center. He saw every day how lifeless they were under the control of the Imperium. He saw how broken his husband now was after having suffered their mind-breaking torture. It tore at him on a primal level and he found that he loathed the very idea of it.

“Does that make the Law right? Does it make it correct? No. It does not. In fact, there are many laws across many lands that cause great harm and are designed only to support those who are in power.” The irony of him speaking on this matter was not lost on him. He was the Synnekar Prince, a man who had lived his whole life from a position of privilege but Talon knew himself. He was not blind to the benefits of his birth and he had striven for most of his life to protect his people and his homeland with everything in him. He had doubts, he doubted many things about himself. He found himself doubting more and more every day he was in captivity but at least that he knew. A flicker of pain crossed his face at the mention of breaking him out. He looked away and suddenly Talon both felt and looked very drawn. Talon was not a weak man and he most certainly did not consider himself a coward but…he felt impossibly fragile in that moment.

“I do not know if there will be much of me left to free.” It was getting harder to resist the Imperium with each passing day. They had taken Aoren from him. If there was one thing that terrified him, it was losing his bondmate. Seeing his husband so utterly ensnared by the shackles of the Imperium had broken something in him, he knew this. He could not deny it. Ever since that day, he had been dwindling in his will to resist them more and more.

“I can only tell you what I believe, Florian. I made my choice about the kind of god I wish to be. There are many who wish I were different, most of them only desire that to serve their own self-interests. I will resist them for as long as I can.” He took another drink of the tea and then lowered it. His silver eyes grew distant.

“As for your destiny? My mother often consulted with Seers and Diviners. They all instructed us in the same thing. Fate is unchanging but Destiny is in your hands. Which, if I understand it correctly, means that some events in life cannot be avoided but how you choose to face those events is entirely up to you.”

[Florian]

Florian looked at Talon as he spoke, and then he smiled. "So you don't know the difference either. Personally, I think it's a matter of how much of yourself you're willing to give. How much of yourself you're willing to lose."

At his reaction to the mention of his being saved, Florian's smile disappeared. He looked incredulous. "We did not meet here on accident, Talon. I have had nightmares every night ever since— This is not a nightmare. There is a reason this has happened." He stood up, still talking. "I do not know you well, Talon. I know you from theories and propaganda. I know you from what the people I have known have done to you. How many people have spoken to you since you were captured?"

Florian posed the question, but considering the circumstances, he did not believe it to be many. He turned and stood before Talon now. "This is not a coincidence, and there WILL be you left to save. You do not have to be whole. You have to be strong. And then you won't have to be so strong anymore, because those people you requested— they will be strong for you while you can put yourself back together again, and you will not be alone to do it. Your heart will be freed, and so will you. There is no room for any other option. Do you understand?"

Florian finally inhaled, and then slowly exhaled.

"I don't know what you do, or what you have gone through in your life, or your imprisonment. You are not resigned to this fate. I will not hear anything otherwise. Give in if you have to, but do not lose yourself. That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard. Fate is unchanging? I don't care. I am Destined for great things. One of those will be saving you."

[Talon]

“Perhaps.” Talon smiled. There was no accompanying laughter but some of the gloom faded from his expression. When Florian looked at him incredulously, he was taken aback. Listening to the Lysanrin fly into a fit about the current state of things took him by surprise. It hurt. It hurt to know that in many respects, Florian was right. Talon was giving up. For months, day after day after day, all he had known was the screaming and the pain. Suffering both physical and psychological had been visited upon him. It was breaking his spirit. Yet, despite all of that, here this Lysanrin stood declaring before Destiny and Fate that he would see through his promise to save him.

Talon felt something well up inside of him. It was something that he had not felt in a long time. It scared him. In the early days of his imprisonment there had been a great deal of it. As the days had stretched onward, more and more of it had been whittled away until there was virtually nothing left of it. There was only a spark. There was only the faintest glimmer of it. It was there nevertheless. It was Hope.

Talon flinched as he felt a stabbing pain slice through his skull. His hand spasmed and he dropped his tea cup. Wincing he pressed the tips of his fingers to his forehead and drew in a slow breath. The pain grew as the feeling inside of him grew as well. His body went momentarily rigid as he felt the bindings that were laid upon him in the waking world work to suppress his true nature. When finally the pain abated, he was breathing more heavily. A cold sweat had broken out upon his brow and his hands were shaking. Whatever had been about to happen, the chains upon him in the waking world had done their job. His head felt like it was spinning. When he was able to steady himself, he took in a deep breath then looked at Florian with a lopsided smile.

“Thank you, Florian.” He did not know what else to say. The torture was having an even greater effect on him than he thought. He would not have said that he was so close to breaking in spirit prior to that but in truth, he had been very close to finally accepting the request to finish that cursed armor. Now though? Now he thought that perhaps he could hold out for a little longer. After a moment, a smile tugged at his lips.

“I think I still have some fight in me yet.” Rising to his feet, Talon stretched. While not a true stretch, even the idea of being able to stretch fully felt good to him. He stepped out of the pavilion so that the sunlight could shine down upon him more fully. The light cascaded over the silver of his wings and he let it warm him. Even in a dream, it was comforting to be able to walk beneath the sky. It was better than the cold darkness that waited for him in the cathedral.

“Shall we walk? I think I will be waking soon. I would like to spend what time I can in the sunshine. Even if it is not real.”

[Florian]

Florian watched as pain crossed Talon's expression, and the dropped teacup faded from reality as it fell. He didn't know how to help someone in pain, but before he could puzzle out a proper response, the demigod was smiling again. He wasn't sure how to react to this, so he was silent.

"No one can imagine every scenario. They clearly did not imagine that you would be found in...space beyond the real world, right? That is enough to prove that you have the chance."

Florian stepped out into the sun as well, though he still did not find it as comforting as Talon did. Still, he stepped off the pavilion and into the hedge maze. "You can't let something like reality dictate what you can do, anyway. The sun feels nice to you. You don't have to go any further than that. I have gone through too much to limit myself on what's possible. I can't even guess at the future. One day I will be able to rest, but even this lull lately, in Zaichaer, it has been stressful. I cannot make the changes I need to make in the way that I am expected to. I feel...stuck, which is the exact opposite of what I ever wish to feel."

Walking next to Talon, Florian was again aware of his own insignificance. He had been so confident in proclaiming he could save him, but he didn't really know what to do besides find the two he was supposed to find. He was not so strong, or powerful, but he had since forbidden himself from considering failure an option. It was not even on the table. He didn't know why he felt so strongly about it, but the mere act of imprisoning someone and torturing them, regardless of who it was, but especially with whatever reasons they could have for doing so to a god... It enraged him beyond belief. He would tear down the prison brick by brick and rune by rune just to prove that he could. He had no reason to believe that he could beyond sheer willpower. It was only a matter of time before they discovered if that was enough.

"When this dream ends, we will meet again soon." It wasn't a suggestion or a maybe. Florian spoke it like a truth, even with no evidence to back it up.