Lost in the Wake [Raithen]

[Khyan Nykara]

"No..." Khyan conceded, "I don't know how all of this will end, but..." He pursed his lips and paused to part them only to gulp down a hefty swig of ale, before competing this thought: "...I know I've been acting as though it will all work out in my favour." He smiled grimly, "Just like everything has always, always worked in my favour." His dark eyes darted from Raithen's gaze down to the dwindling second mug.

"It's scary, and um... alien to think that maybe Khyan's comfort isn't the universal truth I've always thought it was." He bit the corner of his lip, and glanced off into the corner where the walls met the ceiling. "That maybe all the moments that have absolutely crushed and gutted me in my life were naught but a pittance... and that reality is glaring at me a big and inexorable as..." He searched that little corner of the room for the proper simile and landed on, "...the Crownwyrm." His eyes found Rai's and he smiled. It was genuine, but it wasn't happy.

"I hope that's all there is to the lesson, Rai. I hope that knowing I've been frivolous is enough. Because, by the Founders..." There were tears brimming now, "I will change from here. I will be... I will be someone different after this experience, not matter what, and I hope that's enough, but..." He shook his head and wiped at his eyes with his knuckle, "I don't think the world cares if I learn a lesson. That's just part of the lesson and, now that I'm learning it, I suppose I want good marks..." He trailed off.

"Rai, I..." He chuckled and shook his head, "Maybe later." Smirking he added, "Maybe after I'm drunk enough not to care whether you're sober enough to carry me."

[Raithen]

Raithen listened with a look of sober intent that was strange in that he so rarely wore it, and also in that he was fully two mugs of ale into not being sober.

Waving to the serving boy and pointing at the mugs, then changing his mind and calling for a pitcher, he turned back to his companion.

"Maybe," He said, in absolute seriousness, "Things are meant to go in your favour. They always have, and, though it seems like things are going shit right at this moment, things have looked like they were going to go badly for you before."

Here the requested pitcher arrived and Rai laid a number of small coins on the boy, telling him that, if Raithen never saw the bottom of the pitcher, he would tip as much again. The lad nodded and left to continue his work, obviously a seasoned hand at it.

"Even if things don't go as well as they could, it might still turn out to be to your advantage in the end."

Maiming or slavery were the better options, as opposed to being thrown into pools of lava, but even Rai could see that proving either to be an advantage in the long run might be a hard sell. So, he filled both their mugs again and took a mouthful to strengthen his argument.

Khyan suggesting that the whole affair might be a good lesson, and one fully learned, seemed promising.

"The world might not care, but the world also isn't in control of your fate. Only the gods control that, and they certainly are watching." Rai's faith in the over-watch of the gods was as unshakable as his belief that his mother was always right in the end.

The rejection of his offered flight earned only a laugh and a cheers with his mug. He trusted his drunken self enough to fly him home, if it came to it, but he wasn't sure if, once he was past the point of wholly remembering, he would be able to get anywhere else reliably. Khy could share Rai's apartments for a night though. It wasn't as if they'd never slept in close quarters after having filled their bellies with libation.

[Khyan Nykara]

"Maybe." Khyan conceded. He certainly wanted to believe that things were going to work out somehow, though things had never trended quite as poorly as they were lately. His eyes darted up from the table to meet Raithen's, once more. He ran the tip of his tongue over his top lip, considering the features of the Avialae.

Rai was very beautiful. He'd always thought so, though he was beautiful in that sacred, unattainable way. He knew that some people regarded him with such reverence for being a quarter Platinum, but his grandfather hadn't been descended from the gods themselves as Raithen was. Avialae were a rare sight in the city, which added a level of exoticism to the comforting familiarity of his golden elven features. There were several reasons why, for as long as they'd been friends and as often as his inhibitions had been down, he'd never actually, actively pursued Raithen for anything more intimate than friendship. It was an honour to be afforded even that by an Aværyan. To seek out more felt akin to sacrilege.

As the pitcher arrived, he finished up his second mug and wiped at his lips. His eyes danced down, and he found himself a bit self-conscious, now that he'd put aside his woes enough to remember that Rai was not to be taken for granted, but to be taken in awe. He smiled to himself, watching his own hands fidget anxiously on the tabletop as Raithen invoked the Founders in his case for Khyan.

"Your ancestors." He noted, not blithely. How odd it was to be sitting across from a veritable angel who suggested that his own celestial forefathers might want the best for Khyan. It was easier to believe a beautiful lie from such a source as that- Even if the Crown would have them believe Raithen's blood was polluted by otherness. And what did that make a boy like Khyan? It was no wonder people like his father spoke out and needed to be silenced severely for questioning that status quo.

"Rai, I'm..." He hazarded a glance to the face across the table, "...I'm really glad you're here. I thought I wanted to be alone tonight- a face in the crowd, but I think this was just what I needed. Just to feel, I don't know... connected to the world, to the universe, to your ancestors, even." He bit his lip, and his eyes fell to his hands, which paused their fidgeting to rest with his right palm atop the left.

[Raithen]

Then, all of a sudden Khy was being shy with him again. It had been a staple of their youthful friendship, at times the slightly younger boy seemed to forget who, exactly, Raithen was, and then they would banter, tease, even wrestle a bit, until something happened to remind him. Then the mostly-human would quiet and begin to subtly genuflect. Rai understood the reaction, but he preferred the first state of being, significantly. There were few people in his life who treated him as an equal; his appearance and bloodline causing most to either bow to or look down on him. The oddity of his wings did not help, with either reaction. Those who looked up to him as superior seemed almost in awe of them, those who were of higher status saw it as the mark of his mother's eccentric choice.

Reaching across the table he laid the hand not still wrapped around his mug over Khyan's own folded ones,

"I want to be here. I want to stay with you, until the morning." Rai said this steadily and plain, not colored by sorrow nor flirtation. He did not say 'until they come for you' though they would be coming to collect the family, whatever the pronouncement of judgement turned out to be. He wanted to sit vigil, for, if it was the last time he would see Khyan, his friend deserved at least that.

They could drink until the horizon began to light, or they could find a place to sleep, or they could have some wild adventure wrapped in the darkened skies. All options were open to them, and, as it was possibly the last time that would be the case, Rai intended to take full advantage of it. Of course he knew that Khyan was a beautiful man, he had been a beautiful boy, but while Rai did not think of sex as anything particular to cause comment, he very rarely slept with anyone even so near to his own class as Khy. To Rai the act was a recreation that one sought out and paid for, similar to the pitcher of drink they now shared. There had been encounters as both school boy and guardsman, but those had been 'fumble in the darkness and forget the next day' sort of encounters.

[Khyan Nykara]

"I want that too..." The words came out in a relieved sigh, and Khyan smiled heartily. "Very much." He added with a bashful emphasis, as he unclasped his hands- turning the right one palm up to grasp Rai's gratefully.

Even if Raithen's positive predictions proved faulty, Khyan might make the most of his final night of freedom before he was sent to the grave or elsewhere. As he'd mentioned earlier, he was learning from this whole experience and one of the morsels upon which the holy light of Aværys now shone was that he'd kept people at arms length for too long. Somewhere between childhood and adolescence he'd begun to mute his connections to other people. He'd come to feel that aloofness was part of his identity, but now that felt wasteful. Connection was all he wanted, just now and he regretted all the time he'd spent isolating himself from those he considered friends like some remote island or, more to the point, a secluded city surrounded by hundreds of miles of desert wasteland. Khyan had been a microcosm of his own realm but, like Solunarium itself, he now sought to open his borders to welcome visitors from without.

"I wouldn't have asked you, so I'm pleased you offered." Khyan admitted. It wasn't just that he was too proud, it was also that Raithen was what he was. Khyan certainly fell into the former camp in regard to perception of Rai. He was disarming enough that one could forget, but his wings were a constant reminder of otherness. Even if they weren't part and parcel to the sort of otherness that made him an object of reverence, they still brought it to mind.

"Maybe it can be a watershed night for the both of us." He suggested, hopefully. "We're both, after all, in the midst of transitions. Yours is, perhaps, more hopeful..." Though going from working for the Crown to working for a mercenary band didn't seem like upward mobility on the surface, it was Raithen's choice, "But still. We can use celebrating your thing to distract from my thing, yeah?" He squeezed Rai's hand, and half smiled shyly.

[Raithen]

Rai was not sure if Khy was flirting, but whether he was or not, the turn in his mood from dire predictions to suggestions of celebration was a welcome one. Toasting the idea by tapping his wooden mug against the darker man's, perhaps bordering on teasingly he returned the smile.

"I mean it, I want to be with you, tonight, and if possible, more often. We're men now and we can choose our company." There were limits, of course, Raithen would never do anything to bring shame on his mother's house. But young men of noble lineage keeping company was so commonplace as to be the subject of jokes and songs.

"I wish you would ask, if you want to. I haven't had much time to spend as I pleased, and even less in company I enjoy." Rai did enjoy Khyan's company, particularly when the human forgot to whom he was speaking and showed veins of arrogance or self-aggrandizement. Something about Khy's pride tickled at something pleasantly in Rai. The Avialae had never examined the feeling, nor would he even have thought to do so, he just knew he wanted more of it.

Bits of memory began to float in his ale-washed mind's eye, swimming, wrestling, pushing and playing with other boys as their shoulders widened and their legs grew long and ungainly beneath them. Not all of them included Khy, but the chance meeting and reconnection was reminding Rai that he craved the sort of fraternal connection that he had never shared with his own brother. The feel and flow of young men working together was one of the main motivations pulling him toward becoming a mercenary. Initially, he had hoped that the guards' barracks environment would resemble that of his time at school (minus the study and scholars' lectures) but he had been mistaken. The formality and intense sense of duty associated with the position had belayed anything of the kind.

So it was that Rai found himself (despite having availed himself successfully of the offerings of several high-class brothels since his discharge) in want of what Khy represented, perhaps more so than he really understood. When his hand was squeezed he returned the pressure, sweeping his thumb over Khy's wrist and trying to meet his eyes.

[Khyan Nykara]

Khyan might have been more tan than Rai was accustomed to seeing, for having spent so much time lately in the open air of the High Court. All things revealed themselves beneath the radiance of an Atraxian sun, it was believed, and so the courtroom was an arena not like those in which Solunarium's other bloodsports were played. In spite of all this, at Raithen's words the young Patrician blushed enough that it was visible on a visage with an olive base made bronzer by the blazing solar orb.

Was Rai flirting? Khyan had been, even if he'd couched it in such a way as to be plausibly deniable. If he wouldn't openly ask for Raithen's time and attention, he certainly wasn't going to ask for his heavenly body. Facing his mortality had made Khyan bolder than he'd been in the past, but he still had his limits as well as his pride.

He occupied his free hand in receiving the proffered toast and raising the mug to his lips. Perhaps with enough ale, he might grow bolder still ere his final night was through. But it would be up to Rai as to whether that would be necessary. Ideally, body language and cautious flirtation would be enough to guide them down the path of most diversion, but that remained to be seen.

His flesh, however, betrayed more than his tongue as goosepimples pricked up along his arms at Raithen's gentle stroke of his wrist. In a moment of such high stakes, Khyan felt more deeply than usual. With one evening left to him, the stakes had never been greater and so neither had his affections for the golden angel across from him.

"Did you want to spend all night in this taberna, or did you have other designs post-pitcher?"

[Raithen]

The question was a good one, and Rai gave it due consideration as he raised his mug and saw it half-emptied down his throat.

"I think it must be your night, yours to decide. If ever a man is to act as a king, it would be in a circumstance as this. I can get us almost anywhere that could be wanted."

Between his familial ties, his recently vacated position as a royal guardian, and the physical ability of his wings, there were, indeed, few places in the city or surrounding area that he could not gain them access to. Even the highest courts in the land were not denied to him, though, once the men and women who guarded them grew not to recognize him as one of their own, that would no longer be so.

"We can adventure as we will, or we can head back to my quarters and avail ourselves of the most excellent libations the city has to offer." Both options had their merit, it was not as if Khyan could really get himself into more trouble than he was already in, and Rai also had a knack for getting himself out of trouble that would ruin other men.

"Do you want quiet or loud? There is a small street festival in a neighborhood of the Umbra tonight, or we can fly to the highest buildings and claim mastery of all we see."

His words were teasing, almost like those of a child's imagination painting the world as it willed. Raithen meant what he said, but he wasn't above making his offers somewhat fantastical. Catching Khy's eyes with his own in a moment when the human raised them, the Avialea lowered his voice and said,

"You are the lord of this night, tell me your bidding and I will see it done."

[Khyan Nykara]

Khyan smiled, glancing down and shaking his head. Even in his current circumstances, he lowered his voice to make this jest:

"A human king in Solunarium? Perish the thought." But he took Raithen's point. It was an open offer, and a generous one. If he was to have on last night, he'd spend it like a magnatus in the esteem of an Aværyan. He drained his mug as he considered the options Rai presented, and poured another round from the pitcher for them both.

"A rooftop sounds nice," He considered, casting his eyes to a window and pursing his lips, "And yet..." A rooftop would overlook the city, sure, but the city lay in the shadow of the hungry mountain that might soon consume him. That stark reminder might well inhibit the level of diversion he sought for this watershed evening.

"Perhaps not..." Raithen had offered his own quarters, which was quite tempting, but even explicitly offered it felt indelicate to request. Moreover, part of him wanted to be free of the constraints of walls. A bit of a quandary, that... He wanted to be outside, but out of view of the Mount Sorokyn.

"The Umbrium sounds nice..." He decided. It was spacious enough to feel like it was out-of-doors, and it would feel like the night never ended for as long as they stayed in its depths. Even when the sun began to rise, he might be able to forget that a new day was dawning for a little longer.

"But somewhere quiet, I think..." His own family kept a villa in the Undercity, which became their main house when the sovereign was Moonborn, though that hadn't happened in living memory for any of the contemporary Nykara. "A rooftop in the Umbrium would be ideal!" Finally he'd come to it, and his eyes lit up accordingly.

[Raithen]

Rai did his best to empty his mug as Khy lifted the pitcher to serve them both a refill. They had reached the dregs of it, which, considering their current discussion, he considered good timing. Khy took his meaning, and joked with him, which brought his golden smile back to full.

Sipping more slowly and listening as Khyan considered his options, Rai did not interrupt or interject any more of his own thoughts or suggestions. When the other man hit upon his perfect option it seemed to Rai also that it was just right, and he gave a distinct nod, as though they had come to an accord.

"I know just the place." There were many rooftops in the palace where he'd been raised, but one, in particular was his favorite for it's combination of view, privacy, and the fact that, so far as he knew, no one in living memory had used it. He had thought about making discreet inquiry as to its origin, but that would have brought attention to it's existence, and that he did not want.

Draining whatever was left of the ale in his cup he tossed another handful of coins onto the table and he stood and said, "Come. Let us go, you and I."

Thus spoken he wove his way out of the warmth of the tavern and back into the streets. When both of them were back on the street he led down a deserted alley just to one side of the establishment and there, turned to Khyan, held out one hand invitingly and said,

"Do you trust me?"