Going Down (Part IV)

[Reiner Dornkirk]

(Continued from Going Down Part III )

Reiner pursed his lips. Once again, Kuno was being theatrical... Even womanish! Though he'd never been lucky enough to have a girlfriend of his own, this was the sort of behavior the boys back at the base bitched about in anecdotes about their old ladies at home. Things had gone well! He was sure of it. Kuno was just being a total ass out of nowhere, as far as he could tell.

"Obviously I can't, Konrad." Reiner crossed his arms over his chest and glared, awaiting the delivery of his doom. He tried to figure it out once more, as he had for the whole walk to the shuttle and what lucid moments he mustered on the flight up between gritting his teeth at their jarring, jostling course. He kept coming back to the only comparable incident, which had been that evening out on the Islands when he'd been flirting and, according to Kuno, leading a respectable girl on. Maybe even with less than respectable intentions. How was this like that at all?

"Oh." So it was just like that. He set his jaw, teeth clenched behind tightly pursed lips as he glared on through Kuno's diatribe. He wanted to erupt and spit vitriol right back, or at least to defend himself and explain what a ridiculous conceit Kuno was spewing, but the words wouldn't come as quickly as the thoughts shifted.

So what if she was flirting? So what if he flirted back? He was a fucking messenger. Message delivered. If, as Kuno claimed, he somehow managed to give a less than accurate portrayal of what Vonnegut should expect, wouldn't that be exploitable? Wasn't that exactly the sort of thing she did to others? By the time the opening remarks for the defense were devised, the State was already resting its case and there was no time left for Reiner to make his case.

When Kuno quit their little enclave, he walked out alone. Reiner remained in the shadow of those crates until the click of the lieutenant's shoes was an echo in the distance. And then he slammed the fists he'd been clenching for what felt like hours into the bulkhead and screamed- fair roared in outrage unsatisfied. Veins protruded from a neck that grew red as the blood rushed to flush his pale face as well. It was only a moment, and he took a longer pause to collect himself- straightening out his jacket, and managing his expression until it was flat. He couldn't take the bloodshot out of his eyes or the quiver out of his hands by will alone, so he stuffed the latter in his pockets as he kept the former trained on the ground as he emerged into the corridor to make his way to the debrief.

[Rune]

The fact that Reiner did not seem in the least repentant, not cognizant of the error in his behavior even after Kuno had explained bit and clawed inside the Lieutenant. Did the boy not understand he was representing the Minister, the Islands themselves? That this might come back to reflect on Kuno did not bear thinking about. He had only just been promoted and while he was unlikely to lose the distinction when so few men with enough experience to hold it were currently available, with the connections being formed with the Riverland forts and, presumably, soon with the rest of what remained of the vast Zaichaerian armies, it was by no mean certain that would remain the case. He swore under his breath, which made the man leading him to the captain glance back over his shoulder but nothing was said.

By the time he arrived to give his report he was, at least outwardly calm. The captain listened to what both Kuno and Reiner had to say, and Kuno, for his part, kept it brief. He did not need to explain that they needed to head back with all due speed if they wanted to give their reports to the Minister before the Island arrived at the first of the forts. The man knew his job, and a good sight better than an army man like Kuno did. It was gratifying to hear the orders for their departure being given even as, after having been dismissed, they left the steering cabin.

He badly wanted to order Reiner confined to their cabin until they trip was completed, but that would be conspicuous, might start rumors. Weighing the worry that the woman-addled fool might run his mouth about Commander Vonnegut to the other men against the possibility of rumors that might damage moral, he opted to say nothing and go about his own duties. He wasn't likely to do anything irreparable to his new uniform while basically just babysitting the crew currently on shift, and if something unexpected happened, needing a new one would be understandable, so he didn't even go back to their cabin to change.

When the work day was done and he'd picked irritably at some dinner he, reluctantly, returned to the cabin they shared. The hours between had left him with plenty of time to think. Perhaps they could spin this, pretend it had been intentional, that they had wanted to play into Vonnegut's game so she believed the Minister would be easy prey and not really prepare for him. It was foolishness, she wouldn't be that stupid, but if they could pretend to have thought she would...

No. It was done and nothing for it.

Entering the Cabin Kuno said nothing as he began to undress to bed. They would arrive quite early in the morning, at the first fort and, presumably, the Islands as well.

[Reiner Dornkirk]

The captain surely noted the tenor between the two young soldiers was different for this final debrief than it had been for those prior. Reiner was succinct, but not unclear in his confidence that the mission had gone well. Lieutenant Kämpfer may not have been as wont to affirm his claims, but at least he wasn't openly contradicting him. The reticence made him question himself... probably more than a cross examination would have, but not enough so that he felt inclined to recant.

Kuno may not have ordered Reiner to cabin confinement, but his initial instinct was a self-imposed exile. He knew that the ZADC lieutenant had actual duties aboard the airship that he did not and, being averse to further chastisement, he figured their cabin would be a welcome refuge. At least for a while. Then he started to stew.

Being alone with little in the way of stimuli, his frustrations festered. They burgeoned at least to the point where he felt he needed to emerge, though not enough for him to hazard broaching the reasons for his vexation with the uninitiated. He had his dinner earlier than Kuno, but accepted an invitation to play cards with some of his current crewmates.

Typically his deference to Kuno would have drawn him home earlier. Typically he would have been more resistant to the offers of alcohol that might make him look bad in front of the friend and mentor he was keen to impress. But this was not a typical evening, and so he decided to celebrate not just in earnest but also in spite of the unjust critiques that Kuno had lashed in some attempt to strip him of his earned accomplishment.

When he did return to the cabin it was late. He was trying to be quiet, but it was not going well so, fully clothed and shod he climbed into his bunk atop the covers and shut his eyes.

[Rune]

Not finding Reiner upon his return came with mixed feelings. If the private wanted to punish himself by not sleeping in his own bed that night, it seemed a just decision. If, however, the man had simply ignored Kuno's ire and gone to enjoy himself with other off duty men, perhaps even going to far as to celebrate the completion (however badly botched) of his first mission as messenger to the Minister...

Kuno's mood darkened as images of Reiner laughing and drinking filled his mind. He tried to replace them with ones of the other man huddled against a set of packing boxed, perhaps on the upper deck, or deep in the bowels of the ship, regretting his choices and dreading their consequence, but without much success. He tossed on his bed for a time before, regardless of his mental state, his body took over and refused to insult the fact that he had a nice warm bed in a quiet, enclosed space, pulling him into sleep.

He woke when Reiner returned to their shared room, but he did not state or move or even change the pattern of his breathing. Kuno could smell his roommate so there was no need for the private to bump into things and stumble about for the lieutenant to be aware of his inebriated state. No nice sulk for him, it seemed. No, a night of entertainment had been the name of the game.

Only pride, and the knowledge that Reiner would surely be punished by his commanding officers upon their return kept Kuno still and quiet. Except... those officers were Dornkirks', or at least Dornkirk adjacent, related to the family. With the special honor they had shown to their little cousin already, what were the odds they would do more than tut at his folly and pat him on the head?

The fury, at the unfairness, at the unjust reality of a world where it was never what you did, only who you were that decided your fate begin to burn, cold, inside Kuno's breast. It was always there, this feeling, so long as he could remember, but sometimes it sparked into a helpless rage. When he'd been a child it had come out in screaming and fighting, but that had long sense ceased, now he turned the energy provided by this fuel into plans. That was how he spent the next hour or more as Reiner passed out on the bed opposite his own.

Eyes squeezed shut in the darkness he sent out a fervent prayer:

My Lady of Chains, give me domination over this willful boy, allow me to bend him to my will

~~~

The next day passed in work and avoidance, with Kuno up while Reiner was still snoring off the drink, and not returning. He took his duffel and stored it in the cargo hold as they would be arriving back to the Islands in late afternoon and he would have no need of the things inside it until he was back at their apartment. By then, things would have changed, or, at least, things would be in place that would allow the change. There was practically no chance of Dornkirk speaking of what was to happen. The odds were in Kuno's favor but there was no point in not taking every precaution possible.

By the time Reiner was up and dressed a low level airman arrived with a short message for him from the islands. The captain had contacted them as soon as they'd come into range. The little note was brief but said that Private Dornkirk was to deliver his report in person as soon as they docked, at the Windworks, to the Minister.

[Reiner Dornkirk]

Reiner slept deeply and, with no pressing duties nor irate roommates to wake him, he slept until pretty late. Having slumbered through the danger zone, he woke without much in the way of a hangover. Even his body seemed disinclined to punish the young Dornkirk in spite of Kuno. He did wake with anxiety and the instant, sharp memory of his tongue-lashing from the lieutenant, but a glance over his shoulder revealed that the man was already gone for the day. He undressed, showered and groomed himself, donned his other uniform and packed up for the trip back, before the courier arrived with his next set of orders.

He wished he felt better about the impending reunion and debrief, but Kuno had thrown a wrench in those works that made any hope of ease an impossibility at the Windworks. He wondered whether he would have actually been more excited than anxious if Kuno hadn't blown his lid like that. He still didn't even feel bad about anything he did or how things had gone. In truth, he was more anxious that Kuno would sabotage him in front of the people who mattered most. He'd been behaving incautiously... maybe even erratically in that meeting with Vonnegut. If he had something stuck in his craw, and he made it very clear yesterday that he did, Reiner would not put it past the lieutenant to act out. Whether or not his cousin and the other brass would believe him, it would certainly put a damper on any perception of his accomplishments on the mission.

"Fuck..." He muttered to himself. Maybe he'd try to smooth things over before they disembarked. With any luck, Kuno's grudges had a shelf life. If a night's sleep had assuaged their sharpness, maybe Reiner could still salvage this last little piece of their joint mission.

[Rune]

It had taken most of the morning, which had been prolonged by Kuno waking early and not being able to find his way back under. Not being willing to lay still and listen to Reiner contentedly snoring away the lieutenant had risen and dressed silently, taken his things and left. It was petty to ensure that no trace of him remained for when the private did wake, but with the idea that no other form of retaliation was possible, Kuno would take the small ones.

His duty shift passed without incident, the clouds had mostly cleared, leaving only the occasional fluffing in the distance. It was bracing cold, but aside from that, really quite nice on the top deck. Blue and beautiful in a way that he couldn't remember having seen since the awful events of the 34th. Perhaps their had been bright days and he'd been in too deep a fog of his own to notice, or perhaps it had been lingering smoke and fog from the destruction itself and now that they were far out from the city he was noticing. Whatever the reason, between the clear morning sky and the bright, hard chill, his mind cleared as well. Kuno had never been one to rely on other to get the job done, they only disappointed. So, he was a little embarrassed at having been so unseated by the knowledge that the brass likely wouldn't take action to correct Reiner. Of course they wouldn't, since when had they ever done the right things? He'd been taken in by the community and connectedness of the Islands, been pulled in by the propaganda until a part of him had believed it.

Scoffing at himself and shaking his head as he gave orders for the lines to be checked for frost his expression changed from dower to smiling. Kuno would fix the problem. There might be some support from some higher up the military hierarchy but they did not need to understand their parts in it. Wheels and cogs were turning in his head and, by the time he could spot the Islands through his spyglass his mood had stabilized and he was feeling almost chipper.

When he spotted Reiner he waved the man over and offered the glass, pointing down it to where the Islands floated.

"Have a look. We're almost home." Strange though their home was, it did feel like a home.

[Reiner Dornkirk]

Kuno noticed Reiner first, which spared the private a bit of anxious hemming and hawing over how best to approach the prickly lieutenant. Instead, he was beckoned over, so that answered that.

"Oh!" Was the first utterance that escaped his lips, before they pursed themselves in his disappointment at being so inarticulate when an ostensible olive branch had just been extended. Even so, his mind didn't leap to any words worth loosing, so he sidled up to Kuno and accepted the offered telescope.

Shutting the eye that wasn't squinting against the lens, he took in the sight of his new home. Or was it his new homeland? It felt like a State unto itself and from this vantage it was really quite a sight to behold. He hadn't seen it from this angle before, and it stirred something in his heart that made him almost forget the nerves that Kuno had set aprickle.

"Wow..." A breathy, unconscious emission from his hitherto tangled tongue, and then it trailed off. He took it all in for a pregnant moment, before drawing the apparatus from his visage and turning his gaze to the nearer subject that was Konrad Kämpfer.

"So..." His natural inclination was to address the elephant on the deck head on, but his Zaichaeri upbringing complemented by his military background, thwarted any such vulnerable exploits. Better he should bury the matter. Sweep it under the rug, and pretend he wasn't fazed by it in the least. As Kuno was also a soldier of Zaichaer, he would hopefully have the same impulse and they could both pretend to have forgotten about the prior evening until they forgot it in earnest.

"You happy to be home?" Smalltalk was safe talk.

[Rune]

The question, though not wholly unexpected considering he'd brought the subject up himself was not the easiest to answer. Just having been considering the question and not having come up with a full answer he made a little face which was not at all something he would have shown if anyone else had been watching. However intentional was his planning towards Reiner Dornkirk, he'd spent enough time, and felt comfortable enough in that time, that whatever his conscious belief about the nature of their relationship was, his instincts considered the private a friend.

The small, private expression was one of consideration, of not knowing the answer.

"I am glad to be back. 'Suppose I don't know what home is anymore, except, you know, all of it." He waved a hand generally out at the land below them; Zaichaer.

"Are you?"

Kuno had not reached for his spyglass, despite it being one of his highest prized possessions, thinking Reiner might want another look, or to just play with it a bit since he hadn't his own. Owning something that Private Dornkirk did not was, Kuno suspected, soon to be a thing of the past. However upset he'd been by the last meeting of the trip there was no denying the rest had gone very well and even the last was likely salvageable since it was in the best interests of Commander Vonnegut to at least play nice with the Minister until someone else emerged as a potential leader. It would not have much surprised him if his roommate was offered a new set of lodgings with those who shared his blood, and if the coldness between them remained he couldn't imagine the man would refuse such an offer.

Clearing his throat he looked away from the view of either man or sky and instead examined the decking below his feet for a moment.

"As much as I try to never show any cracks, I grew up among the smoke stacks, and a part of me doesn't know how to react to such lofty assignments. I can do it. I will do anything my country needs of me." The first sentence was quiet, vulnerable, while the second two were defiant and sure. Raising his eyes again Kuno scanned the deck and then met Reiner's,

"I worry, that any wrong step right now might mean hungry bellies this Frost. I know the brass whisper about it when they think no one can hear. Stiff upper lip, show no weakness, keep up moral, I get it, and I'll do my part to maintain it. But, if I'm hard on you, it isn't your fault, at least, not so much as I react to. It's the fear. I've been hungry, I know what Frost without food is like."

It wasn't an apology, not in so many words. It was a request for understanding between them as friends, even if Kuno had to maintain the public superiority of his rank.

[Reiner Dornkirk]

Reiner hadn't realized his shoulders were tense until he naturally relaxed them with the ease of Kuno's response. He was that much closer to forgetting their falling out now that there was easy conversation beginning to flow through the dam erected the prior day.

"I think so, yeah..." His ambivalence suggested he hadn't thought on his own answer prior to posing the question to the lieutenant. "This was exciting and all, but very high-pressure. I could keep it up if I had to, but I won't say I'm disappointed at having a break from the tension..." He trailed off as if there might be more, but it never came. Instead he raised the spyglass again and found White Knight Hall looming between two of the spires on the Windworks Island. At the sound of Kuno clearing his throat, he lowered the scope sharply- like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and his expression was similarly wide-eyed and still.

Reiner registered his surprise openly, and his was a particularly expressive face owing to his large eyes and lips that set wide when settled. Even if no apology was expressed, one was received and a smile settled as he turned to face Kuno straight on.

"I understand. I feel that way, too... I think even more so, maybe. Or I'm just not as good at hiding it." He knitted his brow and looked down as Kuno's musings turned from personal doubt to existential crises.

"Right." He replied, as his subtle smile gave way to a grave grimace. "I get that, too. It's, um..." He took a quick breath in and out and he freed a hand, which found its way onto the lieutenant's shoulder blade, where it offered a few pats before settling there.

"It's all right. I can take it." A boyish grin returned, "I'm just glad you don't hate me, is all."

[Rune]

A little huff of a laugh accompanied a smile that said, if Kuno had not entirely forgotten his worries at the jest, they were at least lessened.

"Aw," He said, skimming the knuckles of one fist along Reiner's jaw, "Who could hate this mug? Dornkirk jaw and all." Standing close as they were, it was hard not to look down into the private's pretty eyes, or linger on his equally pretty mouth, but the lieutenant was used to fighting these indulgences, so he just laid his hand on the opposite side shoulder to the one Reiner was holding.

"Not long now before you'll be delivering your report to the Minister, along with those letters from the Commanders." Turning to squint at the Islands as he let his hand drop he added, "You don't think he'll make you work the rest of the day, do you?"

There was a fair chance he would, come to think of it. The military wasn't big on time off in general, and for something as small as returning for a major diplomatic mission the chances were slim. Even if Minister Dornkirk, who wasn't known for having a military mindset, let Reiner off the hook for the afternoon, Kuno reported directly to a man who was decidedly of one. Best enjoy the freedom while he had it, he supposed. Not that any of the time he'd spent with on the Islands or carrying out orders for them had been as strict or annoying as his time before that. The destruction of his homeland had done him more favors than it had harm, but he knew better than to ever mention it.

"Are you looking forward to seeing them? Your family, I mean." That the relationship was a little strained had been made obvious to Kuno, and he preferred it that way but didn't want it to grow beyond strained into something that might be to his disadvantage.