123 Glade 1st
Ivar was sitting all hunched up over a big table in the home he owned, not that he spent a ton of time here. He usually stayed at the dorms at the college but ever since he had a scrivening lab added onto his home, it was much easier to get stuff done at home instead of his cramped dorm room. This table he sat at was special because it was covered in things that helped with magical crafting. The room was quiet except for the scratching noise his quill made against the paper.
This wasn’t normal paper, but the super expensive type that mages used for making scrolls. He was working on a pretty advanced magic project, one that was gonna need all his concentration and magic knowledge. Squinting at the scroll, he dipped his quill into the special ink he’d opened earlier.
With a slightly shaky hand, he started making all sorts of strange marks on the paper. He was nervous because he intended to make a sale today. This was important stuff. The slightest mistake and the whole scroll would be ruined, and all his time and effort would be wasted. Not to mention, he would have to buy more of that costly paper.
“This is gonna take forever. But I need to make sure each one is perfect.”
Ivar groaned to himself, his voice echoing in the quiet room. He had only completed a few symbols and he could feel the strain in his eyes. The morning ticked by slowly. He didn’t even notice how much time he was spending on this. All his attention was on the scroll and the symbols.
“Okay, that's the last of them. The symbols are all done. Now for the hard part.”
He had a short break, just to stretch his legs and grab a quick snack. Then he was back at his table, looking at the scroll. The next step was gonna be tricky. He had to infuse his own spell into the symbols. With a deep breath, he put his hands over the scroll. He could feel his magic stirring inside him, ready to be called upon.
The day of scrollcrafting
The Jewel of the Northlands
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- Ivar
- Posts: 161
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2023 6:50 pm
- Character Sheet: viewtopic.php?p=24709#p24709
- Character Secrets: viewtopic.php?t=4433
- Ivar
- Posts: 161
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2023 6:50 pm
- Character Sheet: viewtopic.php?p=24709#p24709
- Character Secrets: viewtopic.php?t=4433
Closing his eyes, he started to whisper under his breath while navigating the slip space. He wanted to find his destination without actually teleporting himself there. He felt his mind strain to make it all the way to the city center he wanted and he chose the exact block and corner that pleased him. He could feel his magic responding, flowing from his body into the scroll.
This was intense. His magic flowed like a river, filling up the symbols on the paper. He could feel it, and it was amazing. It was like he was connecting with the scroll on a deep level. But it was also exhausting. He could feel his energy draining away as his magic moved into the paper.
“Almost there. Just a little more.”
He had to finish this. And finally, he felt it. The last bit of his magic settled into the scroll. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He did it. The scroll was complete. It was a thing of beauty. And he was so proud of it. Now, he just had to make another one just like it.
Ivar looked at the scroll on the table. It was just lying there, full of magic and potential. But it wasn’t enough to have just one. He needed to make a second one. Just like the first. Identical in every way. He needed to make an identical one to make sure that it actually worked. If it did, he could confidently sell the second one.
"Alright, let's do this."
He reached for another sheet of the special paper. It was fresh and blank and full of possibilities. He just hoped his hands were steady enough to draw the symbols as accurately as he did before. Carefully, he began to draw the symbols, his quill moving over the paper with more confidence than last time. It was slow and meticulous work.
This was intense. His magic flowed like a river, filling up the symbols on the paper. He could feel it, and it was amazing. It was like he was connecting with the scroll on a deep level. But it was also exhausting. He could feel his energy draining away as his magic moved into the paper.
“Almost there. Just a little more.”
He had to finish this. And finally, he felt it. The last bit of his magic settled into the scroll. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He did it. The scroll was complete. It was a thing of beauty. And he was so proud of it. Now, he just had to make another one just like it.
Ivar looked at the scroll on the table. It was just lying there, full of magic and potential. But it wasn’t enough to have just one. He needed to make a second one. Just like the first. Identical in every way. He needed to make an identical one to make sure that it actually worked. If it did, he could confidently sell the second one.
"Alright, let's do this."
He reached for another sheet of the special paper. It was fresh and blank and full of possibilities. He just hoped his hands were steady enough to draw the symbols as accurately as he did before. Carefully, he began to draw the symbols, his quill moving over the paper with more confidence than last time. It was slow and meticulous work.
word count: 324
- Ivar
- Posts: 161
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2023 6:50 pm
- Character Sheet: viewtopic.php?p=24709#p24709
- Character Secrets: viewtopic.php?t=4433
Each stroke had to be perfect. He remembered what his teacher used to say about patience and precision, how important they were in magic. He was starting to understand that now.
“I swear, this is harder than the first one.”
But he was getting the hang of it. He was in the zone, completely focused on his task. Time seemed to slow down as he worked. He felt like he could keep going forever.
"Halfway there… The second scroll, almost identical. If I squint a little, it’s like seeing double "
The afternoon was getting on and at long last he’d finished. He picked up the completed scrolls and compared them side by side. They looked about the same. Of course, he was not all that great at writing or drawing so they could not possibly look identical, but the symbols were all there and he thought it was good enough. He was proud of himself. He had done a great job, even if he did say so himself.
He picked up both of the scrolls. The magic in them was pulsing, ready to be used. He could feel it under his fingertips, waiting to be released. He activated the scroll and felt a pull. It was working. The magic was doing its thing.
When he opened his eyes, he was standing in the city center of Kalzasi. He looked around, taking in the familiar sights. The teleportation had worked. He was exactly where he was supposed to be. He couldn’t help but grin. His magic had done its job.
“Guess it's time to make that sale.”
He walked around for a while and he found the right tavern, a place he knew well. It was a place where all sorts of people gathered, a place where deals were made and information was exchanged. It was the perfect place to find a buyer for his scroll. He went to a table full of people he knew and sat down.
“I swear, this is harder than the first one.”
But he was getting the hang of it. He was in the zone, completely focused on his task. Time seemed to slow down as he worked. He felt like he could keep going forever.
"Halfway there… The second scroll, almost identical. If I squint a little, it’s like seeing double "
The afternoon was getting on and at long last he’d finished. He picked up the completed scrolls and compared them side by side. They looked about the same. Of course, he was not all that great at writing or drawing so they could not possibly look identical, but the symbols were all there and he thought it was good enough. He was proud of himself. He had done a great job, even if he did say so himself.
He picked up both of the scrolls. The magic in them was pulsing, ready to be used. He could feel it under his fingertips, waiting to be released. He activated the scroll and felt a pull. It was working. The magic was doing its thing.
When he opened his eyes, he was standing in the city center of Kalzasi. He looked around, taking in the familiar sights. The teleportation had worked. He was exactly where he was supposed to be. He couldn’t help but grin. His magic had done its job.
“Guess it's time to make that sale.”
He walked around for a while and he found the right tavern, a place he knew well. It was a place where all sorts of people gathered, a place where deals were made and information was exchanged. It was the perfect place to find a buyer for his scroll. He went to a table full of people he knew and sat down.
word count: 332
- Ivar
- Posts: 161
- Joined: Sat May 13, 2023 6:50 pm
- Character Sheet: viewtopic.php?p=24709#p24709
- Character Secrets: viewtopic.php?t=4433
"I’ve got a teleportation scroll here. Any takers? It’s real good, takes you straight to Kalzasi city center.”
People were interested. He could see it in their eyes but they’d never bought a scroll from him personally. Sure they trusted him as an information broker but that didn’t mean he was an accomplished scrivener in their eyes. Ivar could sense their reservations.
“I made two scrolls and used one to teleport not too far from here. I promise you this will work. Okay, I see you’re still having reservations. I’ll sell it for cheap, just to build some trust. Think about all the time you could save. And it’s not like I’m asking for your firstborn child or something."
He waited, watching the people around him. There was nothing but silence at the table and a sense of anticipation.
“Come on, give it a shot. What do you have to lose?”
After what felt like an eternity, a hand went up.
"I'll take it."
“Sold!”
With that, the deal was done. Ivar walked over to him and they made the exchange. He used some of the coins to grab a drink then settle into a chair to chit chat with his companions. The conversation was light, they exchanged some rumors they’d heard, and Ivar started talking less and less over time. Thus began ins internal monologue.
“There are so many things I could buy if I really managed to make it as a successful scroll salesman. I could finally afford to upgrade my home even more. I’ve been dreaming of adding more shelves for my growing collection of scrolls and books. And speaking of the market, there’s that inkwell that I wanted. Someone told me it’s enchanted, allowing the ink to flow perfectly, never blotting or smearing. Imagine how much more efficient I’d be with that.
But it’s not all about efficiency or comfort, is it? There are other things I could afford. Luxuries. I could afford to eat at that upscale tavern at the end of the city. The one that serves that exotic dish with fancy eggs. I’ve always wanted to try it.
I’d buy new clothes. Not just ordinary ones, but the fine sort made from silk and colored with dyes from the farthest ends of the continent. I’d stand out wherever I go, not because I’m a mage, but because I’m a successful man who knows how to present himself.
And travel! I’ve always dreamed of seeing the world. There are so many things that I’ve only ever dreamt of that I could turn into a reality. But maybe, just maybe, if I play my cards right, I can use my success for something more. I can use it to change lives. Like my parents. I can provide them with enough to stop having to work. I can change their lives, give them the relief they so desperately need.
And there it is, the core of it all. The real dream. It’s not just about the items I can acquire or the luxuries I can afford. It’s about the lives I can touch. The changes I can make. With success, I won’t just be Ivar, the mage. I’ll be Ivar, the benefactor. The man who used his success to make a difference. But for now, I have to focus on the first step. The scrolls. I have to pour everything into perfecting them. After all, the road to success starts with a single, well-crafted plan.”
People were interested. He could see it in their eyes but they’d never bought a scroll from him personally. Sure they trusted him as an information broker but that didn’t mean he was an accomplished scrivener in their eyes. Ivar could sense their reservations.
“I made two scrolls and used one to teleport not too far from here. I promise you this will work. Okay, I see you’re still having reservations. I’ll sell it for cheap, just to build some trust. Think about all the time you could save. And it’s not like I’m asking for your firstborn child or something."
He waited, watching the people around him. There was nothing but silence at the table and a sense of anticipation.
“Come on, give it a shot. What do you have to lose?”
After what felt like an eternity, a hand went up.
"I'll take it."
“Sold!”
With that, the deal was done. Ivar walked over to him and they made the exchange. He used some of the coins to grab a drink then settle into a chair to chit chat with his companions. The conversation was light, they exchanged some rumors they’d heard, and Ivar started talking less and less over time. Thus began ins internal monologue.
“There are so many things I could buy if I really managed to make it as a successful scroll salesman. I could finally afford to upgrade my home even more. I’ve been dreaming of adding more shelves for my growing collection of scrolls and books. And speaking of the market, there’s that inkwell that I wanted. Someone told me it’s enchanted, allowing the ink to flow perfectly, never blotting or smearing. Imagine how much more efficient I’d be with that.
But it’s not all about efficiency or comfort, is it? There are other things I could afford. Luxuries. I could afford to eat at that upscale tavern at the end of the city. The one that serves that exotic dish with fancy eggs. I’ve always wanted to try it.
I’d buy new clothes. Not just ordinary ones, but the fine sort made from silk and colored with dyes from the farthest ends of the continent. I’d stand out wherever I go, not because I’m a mage, but because I’m a successful man who knows how to present himself.
And travel! I’ve always dreamed of seeing the world. There are so many things that I’ve only ever dreamt of that I could turn into a reality. But maybe, just maybe, if I play my cards right, I can use my success for something more. I can use it to change lives. Like my parents. I can provide them with enough to stop having to work. I can change their lives, give them the relief they so desperately need.
And there it is, the core of it all. The real dream. It’s not just about the items I can acquire or the luxuries I can afford. It’s about the lives I can touch. The changes I can make. With success, I won’t just be Ivar, the mage. I’ll be Ivar, the benefactor. The man who used his success to make a difference. But for now, I have to focus on the first step. The scrolls. I have to pour everything into perfecting them. After all, the road to success starts with a single, well-crafted plan.”
word count: 606
- Memento
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Thu Jun 22, 2023 10:27 am
- Location: Kentucky, USA
- Plot Notes: viewtopic.php?p=25929#p25929
Word Count: 1588
Experience: 8 solo, can be used for magic
Lore: 6 lores
Final thoughts: It's been awhile! Sorry about that, I needed a reviewing break to work on some other projects. Now, where were we?
This thread was easy to follow, but heavy on exposition. I've brought this up in previous threads, but want to reiterate, that I would love to see, and recommend that if Ivar engages with another in conversation, give us more insight on the dialogue used by NPCS so that we have more interest in the conversation. You can even do this with things said to him. It doesn't have to be super long, or very crazy. However, when these moments are glossed over, or summarized in a sentence or two, we are left feeling incomplete in the interaction. Even if when Ivar engages and they are silent, what does their facial expression say, how does their body language look? You can even offer a bit of dialogue insight in more unique ways, like snippets of the past that don't necessarily direct away from the current situation. Play around with it, find the balance that feels best.
Combining my advice on exposition vs demonstration vs dialogue, I can show you what I mean.
"Each stroke had to be perfect. He remembered what his teacher used to say about patience and precision, how important they were in magic. He was starting to understand that now." could be shown with a bit of the ol' razzle dazzle.
Example (my rewrite, for review purposes only):
Each stroke had to be perfect. He could recall the day he learned that lesson. He had been in class, half lost in thought, when Professor Memento started to draw the very symbols that made him fall in love with Scrivening.
She had been far more skilled than her students had realized.
"Precision is everything, but it is nothing without the patience to execute it," the short woman tapped the piece of chalk to the board while she walked across the lecture hall, wafts of her lilac perfume trailing behind her. Her dark eyes scanned the room, drilling into the gossiping girls who still dared to speak in hushed whispers. Commanding their attention with a mere look, the seasoned mage continued her instruction, smiling smugly as she turned back towards the board, "Notice how I've kept the symbols level? Look how I've interwoven them-" she paused, brightening with a pride that was tempered only when she was reminded of the unappreciative students who watched her.
"This is an art just as much as it is a science. Taking your time, being exact... there are fewer things so important to get right when it comes to magic."
Ivar was starting to understand that now.
Obviously this is just to give you an idea, but something like this could show us the kind of student Ivar is, why his dedication to Scrivening in the current moment is so important, who one of his instructors were, how they shaped him, etc etc etc. It allows us as reader to connect with him as a complete person with a past, present, and future, not just a character with a goal, for a single thread. Does that make sense?
Nevertheless, I hope this helped and I wish you a happy week. Enjoy your rewards, and always, adventure responsibly.
Experience: 8 solo, can be used for magic
Lore: 6 lores
Final thoughts: It's been awhile! Sorry about that, I needed a reviewing break to work on some other projects. Now, where were we?
This thread was easy to follow, but heavy on exposition. I've brought this up in previous threads, but want to reiterate, that I would love to see, and recommend that if Ivar engages with another in conversation, give us more insight on the dialogue used by NPCS so that we have more interest in the conversation. You can even do this with things said to him. It doesn't have to be super long, or very crazy. However, when these moments are glossed over, or summarized in a sentence or two, we are left feeling incomplete in the interaction. Even if when Ivar engages and they are silent, what does their facial expression say, how does their body language look? You can even offer a bit of dialogue insight in more unique ways, like snippets of the past that don't necessarily direct away from the current situation. Play around with it, find the balance that feels best.
Combining my advice on exposition vs demonstration vs dialogue, I can show you what I mean.
"Each stroke had to be perfect. He remembered what his teacher used to say about patience and precision, how important they were in magic. He was starting to understand that now." could be shown with a bit of the ol' razzle dazzle.
Example (my rewrite, for review purposes only):
Each stroke had to be perfect. He could recall the day he learned that lesson. He had been in class, half lost in thought, when Professor Memento started to draw the very symbols that made him fall in love with Scrivening.
She had been far more skilled than her students had realized.
"Precision is everything, but it is nothing without the patience to execute it," the short woman tapped the piece of chalk to the board while she walked across the lecture hall, wafts of her lilac perfume trailing behind her. Her dark eyes scanned the room, drilling into the gossiping girls who still dared to speak in hushed whispers. Commanding their attention with a mere look, the seasoned mage continued her instruction, smiling smugly as she turned back towards the board, "Notice how I've kept the symbols level? Look how I've interwoven them-" she paused, brightening with a pride that was tempered only when she was reminded of the unappreciative students who watched her.
"This is an art just as much as it is a science. Taking your time, being exact... there are fewer things so important to get right when it comes to magic."
Ivar was starting to understand that now.
Obviously this is just to give you an idea, but something like this could show us the kind of student Ivar is, why his dedication to Scrivening in the current moment is so important, who one of his instructors were, how they shaped him, etc etc etc. It allows us as reader to connect with him as a complete person with a past, present, and future, not just a character with a goal, for a single thread. Does that make sense?
Nevertheless, I hope this helped and I wish you a happy week. Enjoy your rewards, and always, adventure responsibly.
word count: 567
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