Looking into the mirror

[Ivar]

123 Searing 81st

Ivar sat down at his desk, getting himself comfortable. He took a deep breath, kind of like he was about to dive underwater, and he focused on a mirror. One could tell he was concentrating really hard because his brow furrowed and he was not blinking at all. Soon, the mirror started to do some weird stuff. It began to shimmer and flicker, like the surface of a pond when you throw a stone in it. The glass sort of clouded over and then cleared again. It was like looking into a foggy morning, only the fog was inside the mirror.

But the fog didn’t stay for long. As it cleared, a face began to form within the mirror. It was a guy, probably in his late forties or something, with hair going gray. He had this sly smile like he knew something no one else did. This was just one of Ivar's regular contacts.

Ivar’s plan was to sit in this spot this guy and later talk to others through the use of his ability to turn a reflective surface into a window. After talking with the first guy for a bit, Ivar decided to connect with another contact. He's got a network of these people to work with. The next one on the list was a lady named Thalia. She was this fierce, spunky woman with sharp eyes that could probably see right through lies.

Ivar took another deep breath, then the mirror did its foggy thing again. As it cleared up, Thalia's face emerged, her expression suggesting she knew exactly what Ivar was after. She was the embodiment of what he would call cool.

Their chat filled the room, Thalia relaying all the town gossip she'd gathered. Chuckles and shared grins punctuated the discussion about who was indebted to whom, and who was less than pleased about it. All typical town chatter, nothing of great significance.

Thalia was like a fountain of stories, an endless stream of topics at her disposal. If given free rein, she could chat away for hours. But Ivar knew when to draw the line, especially as he had several other contacts awaiting his attention.

When their farewells concluded, the mirror returned to its foggy state. It seemed to take a brief respite, mirroring Ivar's need for a break. Channeling magic could take a toll. With the mirror slowly regaining its clarity, Ivar took the opportunity to stretch. Hours hunched over a desk was a surefire way to invite backache.

Next on his list was an older man named Joren. His appearance was weathered, like a warrior familiar with many battles. However, instead of clashing swords and axes, his weapons were whispers and hushed secrets. He was a player in the same game as Ivar, an information broker.

The mirror fogged up and cleared, and there he was. Joren had a stern expression on his face, like he was always serious. But he had a soft spot for Ivar. They'd helped each other out on numerous occasions, and they had a sort of mutual respect.

Joren started telling Ivar about the stuff happening in his part of the world. It was mostly stuff about people who didn't return borrowed stuff on time, and small squabbles that didn't matter much. But it was interesting to hear about, especially from Joren. He had a way of making even the most boring story sound exciting.

They talked for a while, and then it was time to move on. Ivar had a few more contacts he needed to get in touch with. Joren wished him luck and the mirror fogged up again. Ivar was ready for the next call, even though he could feel a bit of a headache starting to form.

Using magic wasn't all fun and games. It took concentration and it could tire you out. But Ivar was used to it. He'd been doing this for a while, and he could handle it. The mirror cleared up and he thought of who to talk to next.

This went on and on until Ivar’s head started to ache. He needed to stop using magic for a while. After all he’d done he still wasn’t sure if he even had enough information that he’d consider sellable.

The usually quiet rhythm of his residence was broken by an unexpected sound: a knock on the door. For a moment, Ivar just stared at the door. It was a surprise. He hardly ever had visitors, especially not here. This was his place of solitude, a sanctuary where he could delve into his studies without interruption.

“Who could it be at this hour?”

He could ignore it, allow whoever it was to leave, and return to his work. But the intrusion had already disrupted his focus. He sighed, moving away from the magical strands that swirled around him.

The cool wooden floorboards creaked under his weight as he crossed the room. His hand hesitated on the doorknob, uncertainty gripping him for a moment before he pushed the thought aside and swung the door open. The surprise visitor awaited him on the other side.

He took a moment, blinking in surprise as he processed the sight that greeted him. It was Flora, standing there, a basket in hand and an uncertain smile on her face. Her presence there, on his doorstep, was unexpected.

After the initial surprise wore off, he finally found his voice

“What brings you here at this hour?"

“I wanted to spend time with you, outside of our... usual routine.”

The moments that followed were filled with small talk. Casual conversations about mundane topics. Such as the weather, her family, the town. The basket she'd brought with her was filled with home-cooked food, none of it smelling good because she was not a good cook.

Still, he realized it must have taken her the better part of her day to prepare the feast that lay before him. As they continued their conversation, he found himself wanting to impress her with his magic. He thought back to the mirror he’d been using then got an idea. He took her to it.

"I'm going to show you something cool. Just be chill and don’t throw off my focus.”

He channeled his aether into the mirror and the surface started rippling.

He tried to explain the theory behind his spell though he did so very poorly. He was not a teacher. Flora was more focused on the mirror than his explanation anyways. The image that formed on the mirror's surface was that of a bustling tavern, filled with rowdy patrons. Ivar showed her how he could use the mirror to communicate with people in distant places.

He also demonstrated how he could change the viewing location, and the mirror now displayed the interior of Flora's home. The rooms were empty, her parents still out, but the sight of her familiar surroundings brought a spark of excitement to her eyes.

Flora was visibly impressed. Watching Ivar operate the mirror, she felt admiration for his skills and the discipline he had dedicated his studies to. She thought of how he would be able to watch over their future children.

[Ivar]

The interaction with the mirror seemed to break down some of the barriers that had existed between Ivar and Flora. Ivar turned to face her. His eyes met hers, holding an intensity that echoed his sincerity. He reached out, pulling her into a gentle embrace.

His hands came to rest on the small of her back, drawing her closer until they were just a breath apart. She fit perfectly into his arms, her body molding against his. It was a simple gesture, but one filled with warmth and shared understanding.

He leaned down, pressing his lips against hers. It was a slow, lingering kiss that carried a promise of things to come. Flora returned the kiss, her arms looping around his neck, her fingers tangling into his hair. The tension between them melted away, replaced by a wave of tenderness that washed over them both.

Breaking away from the kiss, Ivar looked at her, a small smile playing on his lips.

"I can't wait to see you pregnant."

"I'm sure the gods will bless us with beautiful children once we're married."

Ivar smiled at her.

"I am... more pleased than you know that you've come to visit me here. But it's getting late, and I'm sure your parents are wondering where you are."

She nodded, recognizing the truth in his words, yet still reluctant to part from this intimate moment.
He sighed, his hands moving from her waist to lightly cradle her face.

"I wish... I wish I could send you home in an instant. It's something I'm working on, but I haven't yet learned how to transport other people."

"I appreciate the sentiment. It’s endearing to know you worry about me, but I'm capable of making my way home. It's not too far."

"I know I just... I like knowing you're safe, that's all."

A tender smile graced her lips. She leaned in, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"You're sweet. I promise, I'll be careful."

"I look forward to our next meeting."

"So do I.”

After Flora left, Ivar's house felt totally empty. Like, it wasn't just quiet, it was like, she had taken all the noise with her or something. Weird. He stood there, like, kind of just staring at the closed door. It felt like she was still there. Like he could still feel her touch and her warm presence was still kinda hanging in the air.

He crawled under the covers, feeling the chill of the sheets against his skin. After all the Traversion usage and the visit from Flora, a good night's sleep is just what the doctor ordered.

[Pharaoh]

R E W A R D S

Name: Ivar
XP: 8 XP, may be used for Traversion
Requested Lore: +6 Lores

Note(s):

I can tell you’ve been taking feedback from prior reviews and applying it. A lot of your verbiage is starting to feel more in-world, so your reader isn’t distracted from the content by anachronistic elements. There are a few spots where things started to take me out of it a bit. A few examples:

“Soon, the mirror started to do some weird stuff.” Following up on some stuff Memento mentioned- audiences prefer to derive their own opinions of a given situation. Rather than telling us something is weird, just describe the odd occurrences and let us come to that conclusion ourselves. “Show don’t tell”, as we say in the theatre. Since you describe the outcome in the subsequent sentences, this statement is rendered superfluous.

"I'm going to show you something cool. Just be chill and don’t throw off my focus.”
I think you know better at this point, but ‘chill’ takes me out-of-world.

Another example:

“After Flora left, Ivar's house felt totally empty. Like, it wasn't just quiet, it was like, she had taken all the noise with her or something. Weird. He stood there, like, kind of just staring at the closed door. It felt like she was still there. Like he could still feel her touch and her warm presence was still kinda hanging in the air.”

There are things about this excerpt that feel very modern and overly colloquial for a narrator voice. If this was character dialogue it wouldn’t stick out to me as much, but as a narrator I would avoid things like “kinda” and using the word “Like” multiple times in one sentence, which can feel a bit Valley Girl.

All that being said, the biggest issue I had with this thread is the vagueness of the magic use. I honestly wasn’t sure what school of arcane craft was even in use here until I saw you were requesting Traversion XP. You don’t really use much terminology related to that magic school. I had to actually go to the wiki to double check how this solo interacted with the craft and I think you could do a lot more to inform your reader how Ivar interacts with this magic. I was hesitant to give you magic XP for this thread, but I know you’re working and I see your improvements and I appreciate how open you’ve been to feedback, so I will allow it. But tread lightly counselor, I’ll be looking for more detail in the future. Happy writing!

Pharaoh