[Loras] Dum Spiro Spero

[Saej Mirilla]

Searing 62nd 120 Year of the Age of Steel¤

Travel, the antithesis to stagnation. An itch in the feet and ache in the bones of some people who desire to see more to life than their four walls of home. Indeed, this is why Saej left Shasco and Althalos a note and headed on the road without Poppy, without plan, and brought a backpack, some gold, and camping supplies to head out to the road. After 10 days of walking on the road she had finally made it to Loras, her destination. She had heard in the Virverosa Market that the markets in Loras were even more impressive with more precious goods. Obviously she wanted to see for herself.

Finding her way through the small town was easy enough and soon she found herself at the Center Market. It was lovely and she could smell things like incense, tobacco, and some kind of food wafting in the air. Following her nose the hungry woman made her way to a food stall selling cooked pounds of smoked venison. She bought a pound* and it was nice and hot, served to her in a type of cloth wrapping paper. It was dry but juicy on the inside as she ate it greedily, tasting the rosemary and pepper it was seasoned with in delight and thinking how good it must be to live here and eat this every day. It made her wonder if there were any inns here that were just as nice as this market.

Eating less than half of it she wrapped it back up in the cloth and stuck it in an empty flap on her backpack for later. Something had caught her eye, it was a clothing stall with racks of dresses in many colors and shapes. Wiping her hands off on her skirt her legs seemed to float her to the stall, hands finding purchase in the elegant fabrics. The man operating the stall watched her with a smile saying,
“See anything you like?”
Saej shrugged then said,
“Yes definitely. Thank you.”
Walking quickly to a different stall away from him to avoid conversation.

Looking at all the beautiful fabrics, textures, patterns, and styles was beginning to feel overwhelming. It was decided then she would have to buy one, but which? And did she really have the farthings to just ferret away a dress? That was when she checked the price on a frilly blue dress, it was nearly two thousands farthings. In a subconscious movement she looked back to the vendor who simply smiled at her cheekily. She was starting to walk away from the stall when she saw a dress that caught her eye. It was a light sage green with a type of embroidery she had never seen before that created gaps seemingly tasteful to Saej while still giving the imagination room to roam. Blood rushed to her face as her mind wandered to her noble friend. Closing her eyes she grabbed for the tag and turned it over, peeking to see the price. Nine hundred farthings** later Saej was wondering what she just did.

‘I will never wear this.’
Sitting on the bench from previous she stared into space contemplating why she just did that, wringing the overly expensive dress in her hands. It was totally out of character for her and she had been thinking on the way to Loras that when she returned she would tell the elf that she and Shasco had overstayed their welcome and would just stay in the inn the rest of the time. Men never looked at her anyway, let alone nobles.
’900 farthings? Really? At least I’ll look nice for the stall later on.’
She slumped for a moment staring at the ground before raising her arms above her head in an arching stretch, letting her thoughts pass and grounding herself then. Her eyes turned to the crowd, where she saw a woman approaching.

[Milana]

Milana had her eyes closed as she was wheeled from the small bank off the edge of the Central market. It had been a... difficult day thus far. First, a shipment of cloth had mysteriously vanished from the back of a wagon, and the merchant (less than happy mind) could not for the life of him remember if it had gone missing before or after he had crossed into Loras. Of course, even if he couldn't remember he felt certain there was no way HE had forgotten it, or that it had simply been lost in Kamdin. What, he had asked, was she going to do to compensate for the loss? After that, there was a dispute between Milligan and Thomas, an old feud that was as old as they were. Thomas had apparently moved his picket line three inches into Miligan's property line, and of course, the old man was irate and demanded settlement for losses sustained both mental and financial. Then after THAT there was a low supply of refined metals from Hopsfel. Milana wasn't even sure what could be done about that particular problem.

A long, slow sigh escaped the woman's lips as she rested her head back, rubbing her temples as Sarah pushed her back toward the Manor.

"Is everything alright my lady?" the handmaid asked softly, leaning forward to look at her employer. The genuine concern in her voice made Milana smile despite herself, and she shook her head.

"It is nothing. This Searing has simply been draining. It is hot today, and I am beginning to think that I should have stayed in bed."

"You most certainly should not have," the maid tutted, shaking her head, "What would your father say if all you did was laze about all day. Or your Aunt?"

Milana frowned at the mention of her father, now covering her eyes with her hands as if to hide from the words, "Don't mention him right now, or my aunt. It's been nearly a season and she still hasn't gotten back from her trip."

That part was concerning. Her father was as frustrating as ever, but her aunt had been gone for nearly all of Searing. She had taken long trips before, but never quite this long. It made Milana worry if only a bit. Somehow she felt that her aunt could defend herself, but still...

Sarah, sensing the nobles' change in mood abruptly changed course. Raising her head Milana glanced at her as she was parked beneath a covered stall in the Central Market, this man selling dresses and only passing Milana a friendly smile and a wave before continuing to talk to his customer.

"Wait here a moment," Sarah said, walking around the chair and leaning down to speak to Milana, "I think you could use a bit of cheering up after a day like today. I will be back in just a moment."

"Oh, thank you but that's..." Milana began, but the maid was already walking away. Slowly lowering the arm she had raised Milana signed and shook her head, resting her hands lightly in her lap as she looked around at the market. It was a busy day today, people milling about in numbers but not so much that the streets were clogged. Despite her complaints, the weather was actually perfect.

Glancing to the side Milana saw another woman walk by, sitting on a nearby bench. Though she had not intended it, she found herself staring at this woman, taking in her hair, those odd spectacles. The clothing was simple, though nice. Her hair, though, is what truly captured Milana's attention. In all her time Milana had never seen hair that was like... ropes? They were like cords of red fire, hanging long like dripping sunlight in the midafternoon light. Blinking Milana looked around, hesitating for a moment, before wheeling herself forward through the crowd. Thankfully most moved to the side with a smile or wave, and which Milana returned in kind as she was able. As she approached Milana noted the woman's expression, slowing to a stop just a short distance away.

As their eyes met Milana would offer a small smile, suddenly feeling rather... plain next to this woman. Her hair was simple wavy locks of brown, her skin just a shade above sickly pale, and her thin frame could only just barely be called skinny. How odd... normally she didn't feel quite this self-conscious.

"Hello," Milana said softly, pushing herself just a bit closer so that they could comfortably hear one another, "I am sorry, this is rather odd." She paused, her mind ticking to a sudden and abrupt halt as whatever it was she had wanted to say fled abruptly from her mind. Milana open and closed her mouth a couple of times before smiling and chuckling at her self, rubbing a hand up the side of her neck before sighing, "I am not usually the type that does this. I saw you sitting here and just... wanted to say hello?"

With sudden, horrifying clarity, Milana realized... She didn't know how to interact with someone of her own age. At least, she THOUGHT this woman was her own age. She had grown so used to talking with farmers, business owners, housewives and instructors that she had not had any time to just... well, talk to another person. Sarah was nice and all, but she was employed by the Terras family so their conversations were not really what Milana considered ones between friends. And Strous? He wasn't much of a talker actually. Did she even have any female friends she spoke to? How exactly did you... talk to someone?

After what Milana felt was a long, extremely awkward pause but might have been mere seconds she blurted, "I'm Milana, by the way. It's nice to meet you."

[Saej Mirilla]

¤

Just as Saej thought she had a hold on her emotions a woman in a wheelchair came to sit beside her and while this did not strike Saej as odd she snuck her glasses up her nose to peer at the approaching woman.
“Hello.”
Said Saej.
“Was there something you need?”
The woman awkwardly blathered on about how she just wanted to say hello and Saej stiffened. She wasn’t used to people approaching her. Milana, as she was named, went on to introduce herself. And Saej put on her best smile and bowed from her seat in accordance.
“My name is Saej.”

The awkward pause was sustained for awhile, Saej looking at her stupid dress before she put it in her backpack.
“You know,”
Saej said.
“It might be nice to have some company.”
She looked down and her glasses slid down her nose before a hand rose to push it up again. A beautiful light shown down from the midday sun as if a cloud as if just moved by, it caught the light on Milana’s hair. Saej smiled again, this time in honesty.
“You know, I came here not really knowing what to expect other than the market. I think I got more than I bargained for.”
She said this with a motion towards the dress in the backpack.
“I’m really from, I guess, The Free Cities. You live here? I’ve traveled a long way. It’s been some weeks since I’ve been in Kalzasi. Have you, well, ever been there before? It’s rather beautiful. Full of people and experiences.”

This time Saej was the one to look lost for words. She stared at her hands, which rested on her knees, for a moment and looked uncomfortable.
“I guess, well, it’s a dangerous place if you don’t watch your step into the maw. They call it the Warrens. Quite an ulgy place. They say it enters into the bowels of the earth. Not quite table talk though, I guess. Um… This is such a beautiful place. I just had the best lunch. I can’t imagine you eat that all the time here? It was spiced venison. I kept some for supper tonight.”
She knew she was talking too much but couldn’t stop herself. Milana seemed rather genuine and Saej found herself returning that, in her own way.
“Are you a merchant?”

She looked around now, as if trying to spot where Milana could have come from in the market. A dreadlock fell into her face and she pushed it away, trying to act natural. She certainly wasn’t used to people approaching her like this, but today she didn’t have Poppy who usually kept people away with her sheer size. It was just Saej and Saej alone, no one to lean on. While she was open to Milana’s conversation the recluse found herself at a loss for words. A blush again crept up to her face as she tried not to meet Milana’s eyes, still smiling at her. It was odd being singled out and Saej couldn't help but wonder why this woman really wanted to talk to her, maybe she wanted something.

[Milana]

Milana looked at the dress as it was put away, her brow crinkling slightly before looking back up to Meet Saej's eyes. When the woman smiled Milana smiled in return, her shoulders relaxing slightly as her hands unclenched in her lap as she released the tension she did not realize she had been holding. As Saej spoke Milana would adjust herself in her seat slightly, moving the strap at her waist so that it cut into her side quite so much. During the brief pause in words she would push her chair forward a bit more, turning it so that she sat just to the woman's side. Somehow that felt more right than Milana sitting and staring at her straight on.

Despite their initial start Saej seemed quite talkative. Milana listened patiently, her head tilted slightly so that she could look at the woman as she continued. At the mention of Kalzasi Milana's eyebrows raised. She had thought this woman was not from nearby, but the Free Cities were quite a distance away. Faintly the noble wondered what would bring someone so far, especially to a small town like Loras.

When the words stopped Milana's smile would return as she looked around the market. For a split second Milana was at a loss for how to answer the direction question.

"A merchant..." she whispered, resting a hand on her cheek as she thought about her answer. This was an unusual opportunity after all. Saej was not from Loras, and whats more it was unlikely that she would stay long and likely would not return. A part of Milana thought it untruthful to hide who she was, but another part disliked the idea of her status changing how this woman spoke to her. Would it make her uncomfortable? Would she treat Milana like the rest of the towns and merchants did?

"I have lived in Loras all of my life." Milana eventually settled on the truth, though perhaps not the whole truth. Turning slightly in her chair Milana motioned a hand around the market, "I am very proud of what this town and the people in it. Everyone is very kind, and yes," she winked, "I do believe our food is one of our best attractions."

Eyes fell on the bag as Milana remembered the piece of clothing that had been hidden away there. Pointed toward the bag she asked, "What was that you were looking at before?"

[Saej Mirilla]

¤

“Hmm…”
A noncommittal sound Saej made in response to Milana’s explanation about Loras and herself. Having heard every word the girl was simply lost in thought, wondering what it would be like to hail from such a small town. While traveling the Free Cities she had seen various towns and villages, even stopping in a few, and it always made her wonder two things. Why did people live in die in such small villages, and what a strange thing are the circumstances of our birth? A place like Loras, she could get used to. Good food and a good bed were enough to keep her satisfied, not to mention with this being a trading port she would be able to keep up with various worldly news or other comings and goings. She thought maybe this area might suit her though, in reality, she had no intention of settling here at all.

Regarding the question of birth, it was an existential question Saej found herself wondering from time to time. Had she been born as a noble or a beggar’s daughter would she still walk the footsteps of this path, would her soul even be the same? Knowing these to be questions that may never get answered she shook her head and gave Milana her attention again.
“You know, I was just thinking-- what’s it like living in such a small place your whole life? It’s beautiful here but don’t you ever want to see more?”
Trying not to reveal too much about herself she continued on.
“I have grown up a merchant myself. Travel is in my bones. I don’t mean to be insensitive.”
She said then with a gesture, implying perhaps the wheelchair keeps her from traveling.

Her face deepened about three shades into red when the attention was turned back on the extravagant dress. Pulling at a dreadlock she twirled it in her fingers for a moment acting like at first she didn’t hear, then met Milana’s eyes. She knew she was being sheepish and answered,
“I suppose you could call it an investment.”
That said being cryptic wasn’t Saej’s strong suit. She quickly followed up with,
“I guess, I got it to impress someone but if it’s not that impressive to them I can always wear it in the stalls when I work.”

It was clear she desperately wanted to flee the conversation but if Milana prodded she would tell more. In truth it felt good to get this off of her chest, she may die from embarrassment if she told Shasco she had started getting sweet on their roommate against her better judgment. She was still beat red but pulled the thing from her bag to show Milana, first fidgeting her slightly broken glasses high up her nose with a shaky hand then laying the dress out in her lap to be clearly seen. Even now she couldn't help but find it very beautiful.
“It may be the most expensive piece of clothing I’ve ever bought.”
What’s more, this woman was a total stranger it could pay to unload some emotions on someone who sought her out personally for conversation. After all, if they never saw each other again it might not be so embarrassing to make this kind of first impression on someone. This encounter somehow felt like baring her soul. The inner machinations of Saej’s mind rarely saw the surface of spoken word, let alone to a stranger. In the end, she wouldn’t meet Milana’s eyes. Saej’s facial expression was somewhere between chagrin and a smile.

[Milana]

Milana leaned forward, pushing a stray hair back behind one ear as she looked at the piece of clothing as it was brought out. While she admired the dress she took some time to think about what the woman had said. In all honesty, the noble had never considered leaving Loras. It was her home, where her entire life was. Even if she had the option, she glanced down at her useless legs at Saej's words, she honestly wasn't sure if she would want to travel herself.

"It's kind of like..." she began, extending a hand to touch the dress, "Finding a piece of clothing that you really like. It is familiar, warm, and holds a lot of memories. Sure you want to try other clothing and styles, but when you really think about it you realize you are the most comfortable in that familiar dress with its simple fabric and little trim." Milana glanced at Saej's reddened cheeks, and she chuckled despite herself, "May I?" she held her hand out for the dress, smiling in appreciation as she brought into her own lap for a closer inspection.

"A life always on the road somehow feels... lonely to me. Perhaps I am just not accustomed to it." Her words were thoughtful as she held the dress up before her, feeling the strength of the fabric between her fingers as she examined it with a critical eye, "My condition doesn't lend itself well to travel, and with the responsibilities I have to Loras I find it more and more difficult to even imagine leaving." she paused, wondering if she had said too much.

Milana let the dress rest in her lap once more, being careful to fold it properly before letting one hand rest lightly on it. She really did like the color of the dress, the way it would hug a woman's body just right but was loose enough to allow full movement. From experience, Milana knew that an uncomfortable dress made one's life truly miserable, especially if you had to appear both happy and content to have it on. Frowning slightly she looked down at the dress and idly fingered the fabric.

"I think..." a moment pause, and a sudden coolness entered Milana's words as she continued to stare at the dress, "The dress you wear is something like armor. Your appearance is your weapon, your tool to sway those around you in a way that just words cannot. If you were a knight would you not pay the extra expense to purchase a sword of exceptional quality?" Milana asked, looking at Saej once more, "My aunt tells me that the way you present yourself is what decides the outcome of any exchange." Milana collected the dress and handed it back to Saej, her hand lingering on the clothing a moment as the other woman took it back. Once more Milana would look for Saej's eyes, and smile if she caught them, "Whoever you are trying to impress, I think this dress will only enhance what is already there. Though... maybe don't wear it in the stables?"

Suddenly Milana laughed, sitting back and bringing her hands to cover her face. She flushed slightly, embarrassed as she had suddenly pictured a knight shoveling manure with a fine sword instead of a shovel. When she had regained her composure she asked, "If you do not mind me asking, who is it you are trying to impress?"

[Saej Mirilla]

¤

Saej loved the comparison of small-town life to that of a well worn pair of clothes, in fact she knew just what she meant. It was how she honestly felt on the road. It sent something wistful in Saej’s mind. The idea that maybe people stayed for the same reason she loved to travel, the same but different. A feeling of familiarity was something all people needed and just like everyone’s unique thread in the tapestry of life it was always different to each person what that feeling was. Nodding to Milana’s words she replied,
“I can see what you’re saying, that’s very beautiful. And yes, take it. Just be careful.”
It was after all very expensive.

The comment about being lonely made Saej blink. She had never really thought about that before.
“You know, I spend most of my time alone but I can’t say I am often lonely. I guess, when it comes down to it I prefer to be alone most times. I find myself feeling more alone when forced into crowds like it’s just me in this sea of people.”
She fidgeted her glasses again, trying to wipe the spot where they had broken to make the spot a little bit more see-through, to truly no avail. It was a crack, not a smudge. The glasses went back on her face.

“Responsibilities? I suppose everyone has to work to live. And if you love it like your favorite dress well, that means more than anything.”
Watching Milana gingerly fold the dress and hand it back Saej took extra care this time too instead of stuffing the thing in her backpack like last time. Saej was listening heavily to the woman’s words and considered what she truly wanted the outcome of this dress to be. When Milana caught her eye and smiled Saej smiled back but pensive in her chagrin, brow furrowed.
‘Another one night stand, something more? What even is something more?’
Saej didn’t know.
“I see what you mean, I guess I’m just struggling to find the why for this particular dress. Impress him and then what?”

Milana was very insightful and Saej found herself easing into the conversation against her better judgment.
“He’s a noble,”
She paused after this and pressed a hand to her reddening face as if trying to keep her emotions in but they kept on flooding,
“he’s kind, and I’ve just had a lot of time to stew. Too much. I don’t know, I’m finding myself thinking about him more and more over this time spent traveling here. I think that’s why I left, I’ve known him for days only and somehow I know I shouldn't feel like this-- like I’m doing something wrong. He offered us to stay with him from the moment we met and in the time I’ve gotten to know him he’s also very mysterious… Everything about him is so… odd. Amnesia, a tiny house for a noble I must say, and these journals he keeps as well.”

She took a deep breath, looking down at her backpack in her lap.
“I’ve never felt like this before. He saved me once too, or we saved each other. Someone was robbing his painting shop. Well, that one actually if it weren’t for a Knight we would probably both be dead or worse.”
She facepalmed then,
“I am rambling. I’ve never done this ‘thing’ before, what is it?”
Could she really be falling in love? Worst of all, spilling her guts to a stranger?
It took a lot in Saej not to get up right then and leave the conversation without a word, but something told her to stay. It was the way Milana was so genuine, it lent the conversation on Saej’s behalf to take a deeper turn than it had perhaps in a long time. Even Shasco didn’t get this far into Saej’s thoughts.