Gods I've Never Served [Thysbae]

[Brenner Dornkirk]

"Aye..." Brenner's eyes remained skyward as they strode, taking in the sight of the grey sky with eyes as blue as clearer parts of the firmament than those that hung over Zaichaer. Still, he regarded the heavens with reverence.

"The air is thinner... It's almost intoxicating. And it can get terribly cold, but you don't feel it the way you do down here. It's crisp... stimulating. And the view?" He sighed, wistfully, and envisioned the view from the prow of the Searing Victory. It was enough to make him almost understand why people put faith in gods.

"Divine." He shook his head, and smiled a bit at Thysbae's response.

"That is good work, Thysbae. Paramount." He said with an affirming nod. Though Brenner Dornkirk was typically wary of non-human species, he'd known a fair share whose commitment to the State exceeded that of most humans in Zaichaer. Eitan was the example Brenner knew of most intimately- The baseborn, half-elf had something to prove. That desire to be human had led to self-mutilation and, more importantly, to a stalwart, indefatigable commitment to the glorious State of Zaichaer that Brenner had witnessed in few others.

"I guess you're one of the good ones." Brenner mused, before shifting tracks at Thysbae's query. "My training? It was focused. I grew up around airships- My father builds them, you see, so I came into the Battle Academy with a lot of prerequisite knowledge in aeronautics. It wasn't long before they put me on the ZADC track, and the rest was a foregone conclusion... Or so it seems in hindsight." He pursed his lips,

"And how did you, um..." He tilted his head slightly to get a glimpse of the creature at his side, "...How did you find yourself pursuing a life in the Watchers of Purity? It isn't the most common track for a, um... For a non-human."

[Thysbae]

For all that Thysbae was seeing, Commander Dornkirk wasn’t all that bad. He felt that, perhaps, they could be friends. Or friendly. An optimistic notion fortified by the man’s reverence for the sky. Love for such things could be considered romantic, couldn’t it? A quality that could yet bring forth amicable considerations where others were concerned. Where Thysbae was concerned.

He felt his cheeks warm at the man’s praise. One of the good ones. Good, he was good. The warmth that spread through him was enough to make up for the loss of his sweet buns earlier. Enough to make up for the fact that the reconciliator may have words to say regarding the incident, but that could be dealt with later. There was more of a bounce to his step as he continued, attention back on the commander as he continued.

It must have been nice, growing up around something so fascinating. Thysbae certainly had seen a few airships, but it was just that. Seeing them as large dots in the sky from way down below. His curiosity of them was much the same as anyone else’s, but at least they would have been able to ride one. A note of bitterness went through him until he was momentarily distracted by Brenner’s question.

“Rathari.” It was asserted quickly. “This One is Rathari.” But, the question at hand. A lie would need to be told. He could say the truth: that he had no other choice, really. That it was this or death. But that would make the lie of his biological identity weaker than it probably already was.

“This One...is not very useful.” A visible droop of his shoulders, a curling in on himself as his steps slowed, and an all too sheepish smile. “He is weaker than his kin, but wanted to be able to do something to help. This One was born here in Zaichaer, so why would he waste space in such a manner of doing nothing? Someone said it would be best to put what he can do to use and join the Order, so he did.”

He didn’t like this topic. Or the lie that wasn’t a lie he’d just told. He swallowed, pulled at the hem of his sleeves as he tried to think of something else to speak on. “If you weren’t in the ZADC, what would you have done? Like...what else would you be? This One would have liked to be a baker.”

[Brenner Dornkirk]

"Rathari." Brenner repeated, unconscious that he was wrinkling his nose in an expression of distaste. He'd never been a fan of Rathari in general. He regarded them as bestial perversions of the pure, human form. Doubtless they were the unfortunate product of some wretched wizard's abuse of power. Magical power always corrupted and, in this instance, a whole race was afflicted- generation after generation. Or so Brenner believed, based on his readings on the subject.

If his blanket aversion to Rathari wasn't enough, he'd had bad experiences with them of late. Talon's watchdog had wrought all kinds of trouble for the young Air Commander, and he'd needed to put down a delinquent foreign Rathari during a skirmish at a tavern some weeks earlier. Fortunately Eitan had been there to aid in the endeavour.

His mind snapped back to the present, as Thysbae spoke in self-deprecating terms. Looking down at the creature, he found sympathy rather than resentment. The creature had features that portrayed innocence to Brenner's mind, rather than aggression. These features didn't betoken some carniverous alpha predator like a wolf or a bear. They portrayed a helplessness that even Brenner felt inclined to protect.

"The Watchers need keen minds more than they need brawny physiques." He consoled, "And there are ways for even weaker bodies to make formidable fighting machines. I'm not the most muscular human you'll ever meet, but I can hold my own in a fight. I've even put down my share of mages, without ever brooking the curse of sorcery in mine own blood. As you said, Thysbae- You're new to this. Give it time. Have faith in our glorious State to guide you toward learning how best to serve our Fatherland." He smiled warmly, "I'll wager you have talents you're not even aware of yet." He chortled at the childlike question posed.

"If I weren't in the ZADC? By the Empty Throne, Thysbae, I'm not one to delve much into what ifs... The life I lead is akin to the life I envisioned as a boy. I... I suppose I might have been a lawyer, but that's not as fun as your answer." He bit his lip and cast an impish smirk toward the small creature,

"I reckon you just want to be a baker so you can choke other reconciliators with yours sweet buns, hm?" He arched an eyebrow, and tried to look serious before the laughter took hold.

[Thysbae]

Oh, no. Perhaps Rathari had not been the best choice in a lie. But it was one that made sense. Still, it didn’t help that Brenner’s expression had changed so. Did he think any less of Bae now, with the confirmation of what he wasn’t? And would it be worse if he knew the truth? But he supposed that an expression of distaste was better than an outright enactment of it.

But — it had to stand for something if he could offer such kind words. If there could be any sort of encouragement given to him. Bae was certain: Brenner was a kind man. A man he would want to befriend. Their walk was coming a close, and he was now determined for there to be some air of friendliness between them. The faintest whisper of wage from his tail as the hairs brushed against his pants.

“But what-ifs are fun! And they’re merely explorations of possibilities, are they not? This One is sure that at some point someone thought ‘what if’ about airships. How would we have them, if not?” He hoped he’d made a point.

A lawyer seemed like a fitting alternative for the man walking beside him. Bae had known for less than an hour, but it was the way he held himself. Or maybe it was just that he seemed so good with his words. That, too, though could have been bias. He’d praised the half-breed after all. Offered him kind words that felt nice to hear. Not many would have been as generously polite as he had been.

His tail raised high, white underside on full display for anyone that might look, as his cheeks reddened at Brenner’s jest. It was only a short second of panic before the realization that it was a joke hit him, followed by the other’s laughter. Bae’s hands flew to cover his mouth, his own laughter muffled behind his fingers. It wasn’t right to make jokes at the expense of others, but in hindsight, the whole situation had been funny. Perhaps if the reconciliator had not been in such a rush to finish, he wouldn’t have choked in the first place.

“This One would never!” The outburst interrupted his laughter for only a moment. But it was the shift in gait and stance, an ease at keeping stride with the commander. Unnoticeable when not paid attention to. Thys continued the laugher, sniffing before leaning toward the other to mock-whisper up at him. “This One suspects he had intentions to choke on a different kind of bun later.” And then he giggled once more, a slight hop to his step.

Perhaps they could work toward being friends.

[Brenner Dornkirk]

"They can be..." Brenner conceded Thysbae's point on what-ifs, albeit conditionally. "The kinds of what-ifs that encourage the mind to make better the future as in your example. Inventors indeed deal in productive what-ifs." He pondered, "But I think there is a danger in the sort of what-ifs that lie in hindsight. 'What if' I'd become a lawyer, 'what if' you'd become a baker... We didn't become those things. To dwell on the what-ifs we cannot change? That is a recipe for regret." He shuddered slightly, "An utterly useless emotion." He clasped his hands behind his back, keeping a leisurely pace as not to challenge Thysbae's shorter legs overmuch.

"I'm sorry. Your question was harmless, I just-... Well, you woke the Devil's advocate in me with that question." He chuckled, "The exact trait that makes me wonder whether I'd have made a capable lawyer. But, fortunately, I don't regret the path I've taken. It's served me too well. People hate lawyers and, in Zaichaer at least, the public loves a soldier- Especially an airman." He thought back to the exhibition flight he'd captained a few months earlier for the New Year. The pyrotechnics and streamers that had delighted the crowd enough that their cheers could be heard from on high aboard the deck of the Searing Victory.

He offered a good-natured smile, as Thysbae caught onto his little play on words. Sharing a laugh with the relative stranger albeit fellow servant of the State. His laughter faded at Thysbae's addendum to the joke.

"Do you really take him for some sort of pervert?" He frowned, "I really hope he didn't derive any sort of deviant pleasure from my grappling him and pumping the bread from his throat..." The manoeuvre had always looked rather suggestive, he'd thought, and it was possible the reddened face and panting breaths had been borne of more than mere asphyxiation.

[Thysbae]

“Ah.” Bae hadn’t intended for such a deep response to his musings. But the thought that he had managed to provoke some measure of thought was pleasing. It would make him seem like he was one for good conversation, maybe. Good company to keep. He nodded, giving off a soft hum of agreement. Regret was certainly not something he enjoyed feeling. Though, he hadn’t encountered it often.

At least, not his own.

Everyone loves an airman. Maybe that was something he could pursue later on. Maybe he could do something similar yet. He just had to figure out what that was and if he was anywhere near qualified to do it. The boon of his mother’s people was their longevity, among other things.

But perhaps it was best that he learn to land his jokes. The other’s apprehension at the idea that the reconciliator might be a pervert was humorous in itself, but that didn’t help their conversation. Unless he could work with it in some way. He hadn’t suspected the commander to be so fleetingly...funny.

“This One doesn’t know.” He lifted his shoulders in a shrug, eyes wide. “We’d only just met today.” Perhaps a call back to the first two times he’d asserted that he’d only just been assigned that particular reconcilitator would reconcile this situation. “He did stare at the ladies at the bakery an awful lot.” Another shrug to punctuate the sentence, gaze now on the ground as he took up a mock recreation of the form Brenner had before: hands clasped behind his back and head held a little higher. A slight tip of his head lead to a slight imbalance as he looked at the other, a waddle to his walk to accommodate it. “Maybe that was a sign.”

[Brenner Dornkirk]

"Mm." Brenner grunted, slightly, feeling he'd rather waylaid the conversation with his little rant. Perhaps it had been overly didactic. It had rather smacked of unsolicited advice and, though Thysbae had a childlike quality about him, even children tended to be resistant to a pedant. The silence hung between them for a spell, but it wasn't terribly long-lived, so either it hadn't been all that bad or Thysbae had recovered in haste and decided it wasn't worth grudging over.

"Yes, you said..." Brenner conceded, though this time the comment didn't seem as pertinent. "But a keen eye can spot a deviant straight away." He noted, with an unearned certitude. "There's a limpness of the wrist and sibilance in the way they form an 'S' sound. An overall quality of femininity in such a man. You should be on the lookout for such men..." Brenner bade, unwitting to the fact that he was once again offering unsolicited advice mere moments after fearing the same had offended his temporary charge.

"There's no telling what a person with deviant tendencies might do. You might even meet a seemingly normal human who fancies a tumble with you!" Brenner said, not with the intention to scandalise or terrorise the poor creature, but to at least impart the importance of being on ones guard. The creature seemed like such an innocent to the world, and Brenner would have hated for the childlike Thysbae to become the subject of some licentious scandal and ruin his career serving the State.

"Oh, did he?" Brenner was relieved to hear that the reconciliator had been gawking at the girls in the bake shoppe. "Well, that's good. I couldn't get a read on the fellow. It's hard to suss out a bloke's predilections, when he can't even catch his breath. Everyone looks like a pervert when they're panting." He said with a dismissive shrug, and tugged a bit at his collar.

[Thysbae]

“Really? This One never knew.” The half-breed had never really thought much about being on the lookout for such signs. He would surely make use of that information in the future, but perhaps he ought to check with Dreyfus to be sure. Even if he did seem so certain of the information. There was a lot he’d have to tell the mage, starting from an explanation of what had transpired today.

There was a beat before he came to understand that it wasn’t meant as an insult. That what Brenner had said was out of concern...in a way. His eyes widened, the hands clasped behind his back opening to shield his rear as his gaze darted to the faces of those around them.

“This One has had humans pulling at his antlers and tail before.” A soft gasp, then: “Is that like when boys pull at girls’ hair or are mean to them because they like them?” His socialization had been...lacking, but this was something he had managed to witness on occasion from the window of his attic room. Learning from the street below his window had been an interesting course in his development. But he’d always suspected, in the rare moments of him being out in the open and even when the reconciliation had first taken him, that the pulling at his horns had been an act of malice rather than unchecked attraction.

He sucked in a breath, shaking his head. “This One has learned an awful lot, Commander. He is even more grateful for your escorting him.” Bae’s brows furrowed then. “But if everyone looks like a pervert, then do you, as well? Even This One after a run with the hounds?” A look of deep thought crossed his countenance, the slightest bit of distress to his tone.

“This One has much more to learn, it seems.”

[Brenner Dornkirk]

Brenner nodded profusely.

"Really." He repeated with all due gravitas as he confirmed his prior assertions. Thysbae seemed very young to Brenner's eyes, so it felt like a righteous duty to warn him about the potential for predation, lest he become subject to bestiality and, perhaps depending on his age, pederasty.

"That..." He knitted his brow considering the instance Thysbae had just posited, "...could go either way." He rolled the fingers of his right hand, the wrist of which was being clasped between the digits of his left where both hung just above his tailbone.

"Sometimes humans are just mean. They might suspect, based on your appearance, that you are in opposition to the State. Zaichaer has, unfortunately, been afflicted with the disease of terrorism. There are creatures out there who would threaten our way of life, and so people are particularly cautious around outliers..." He gestured with a nod of his head, "Like yourself." He returned his eyes to the path ahead, where passersby were eyeing Thysbae suspiciously.

"I suppose that's why your Order sees fit to send you with an escort- to protect you from those who are not aware of your loyalty to the Fatherland." Brenner seemed to be piecing this together himself, even as he was verbalising it.

He chuckled,

"Red-faced, sweaty and gasping for breath? I'm sure we do... But you needn't concern yourself with that. If a pervert is already in that state, the danger has probably passed. It's the deviant in repose who is most dangerous-... When they're calm and collected with their wits about them, poised to lure unsuspecting marks into their webs of deceit." He cleared his throat,

"Don't obsess over any of this. Just be mindful. One should always question the intentions of a stranger, lest one become an accessory to their sins."

[Thysbae]

Bae nodded, letting the commander’s words sink in. He glanced at the other’s posture, considering copying it. It seemed like the proper stance for a military man, a man of the state. If he was the same way, would people be less wary of him? Would they be less likely to think he was as much a terrorist as people suspected when they saw his antlers? The half-breed pondered this for a moment before he decided against it. He would be fine for this walk; Commander Dornkirk would certainly serve as a warning to anyone thinking he was anything less than patriotic. It didn’t, though, stop the swell of pride that had him puffing his chest as he walked alongside the man.

“This One will be mindful, indeed.” Another nod of his head — more like a bob, really — before Bae was looking up a post for the Order. It was a shame, really, that their walk be over so soon. He rather liked talking to Commander Dornkirk. The man spoke to him similarly to how Dreyfus did, but it felt like a polite lesson among friends. Not like he was being ordered around. Which, wasn’t bad in itself, but Bae tired of being talked to as if he was incapable of his own thought.

Once inside, and matters settled, Thysbae turned to the commander. He performed, what he hoped was, a much better salute than he’d previously given the man. Followed it up with a short bow. “This One would like to thank you once more for your help and guidance. He will be sure to be mindful of others.” Relaxing slightly, he bobbed his head, made to turn — then stopped and looked back at the commander. “If ever you wish to call upon This One, he would be happy to assist however he can.” Another salute, and he was off to wait for his escort back to the Monteliyet estate.