Set My World on Fire [Sivan]

[Destyn]

Set My World on Fire

Kalzasi - 6 Glade, 122

Destyn mused to himself as he basked in Sivan's warmth.

"I think the name Urs sounds the same way as snuggle and cuddle." He squeezed more tightly, "I am giving you a Urs, right now, I think!" He offered with a chuckle as he rocked back and forth a few times.

"That is a very sweet thing to say! I look, I think, more like a chipmunk baby when I am eating. I forget to eat all day and then when it is time for supper I stuff my cheeks full of berries and buggies!" He smiled until he registered Sivan's pointed question. Even if Sivan hadn't clarified, he'd have known his meaning and answered as such:

"No." He replied with prompt resolve. "I... am happy when we are together and doing fun things, or... The same is so with Torin and, obviously now, with Urs- though we have only met twice. I think, perhaps, I should collect as many friends as possible and flit from one to the next so I am only ever alone in the in-between times whilst I fly from friend to friend. I hate to be alone, but that is mostly what I am. And when I am alone I am very, very sad. I have, you know, no purpose in this world." He furrowed his brow and looked to the grass, "I think this is true for many people, but they do not seem to be bothered by it as I am." He took in a deep breath and shook off the grim demeanour,

"But you are a good friend, Sivan! You make me happy when you are around. You cannot always be around, and so I am not always happy. This is, I think, simply, um... life?"

Set My World on Fire

[Sivan]

Sivan didn't know exactly what to do with all that, so he just continued to hold Destyn in an easy "Urs." The slender Fae'ethalan felt slender and frail in his arms, though he knew there was plenty of mettle to him. He wouldn't have survived otherwise. And he supposed that if they couldn't be together as much as they would like, he would ensure the quality of their time was excellent.

"You are what they call here... I think... a social butterfly." He smiled, eyes cutting to his prismatic wings. "You are our social dragonfly, then. When my apprenticeship ends this season, I will be spending more time at the forge helping Torin, so you will see more of me there, and you know you are always welcome here. The bees know you won't eat them, and the spirits welcome you, too."

He wondered what his noble neighbor thought of Destyn, but he didn't think they had been properly introduced yet.

"You are right, though. There is sadness in life. I hope more happiness than sadness for both of us, though, in the end." It was difficult to speak on purpose when his friend's greatest skill seemed to remind him unhappily of his lost clan. It was a shame as the wild spirits often seemed more similar to Fae'ethalan than Fae'ethalan to the other sentient races. "Perhaps eventually you will be Lord Barkbone of the Clann na Feithidí Uisce when it blooms again."

Destyn rebuilding his clan might take time, but it seemed a more reachable goal than many of Sivan's.

[Destyn]

Set My World on Fire

Kalzasi - 6 Glade, 122

Destyn was entirely too amused by the moniker 'social dragonfly' and, as such, burst into peels of hysterical laughter. If Sivan didn't know him, the cartoonishly profuse response might have seemed like mockery, but it was entirely earnest. Destyn was just a socially awkward social dragonfly...

"Oh! That will be very good. He has, it seems, so much help these days! At his party I met a human named Finn who, apparently, assists as well. Perhaps I ought to learn about, um..." He shrugged, uncertain what one called working at a forge. "Forgery?" That seemed right. He nodded sagely.

"I would feel, I think, less burdensome if I could help in more ways than merely making him smile." Having spent more time in a city, he was beginning to catch onto the focus upon transactional relationships that Kalzasi's denizens seemed to bear. Most people had to labour to gain lodging. Destyn had never had a concept of freeloading, but recent conversations were starting to make him feel guilty for his idleness.

"Lord Barkbone!" Destyn chuckled, though not nearly as emphatically as he had over 'social dragonfly'. "No, no. I will be, perhaps, a father or mother someday, but not a lord. Titles like this seem, to me, silly at best... evil, at worst. I do not like the idea that life is hierarchal. That some people are better than others and must be called by special names. I bow as deeply to the shopkeep or tenant farmer as I would to a prince." He paused, reconsidering- "Prince Talon, notwithstanding. He is, you know, also a god. They are, truly, set apart from mortals. But He is the only one I know, I do not believe He was particular about what people called Him." It felt strange and wrong to speak of Talon in past tense, but Destyn wasn't sure what else to do as things stood.

Set My World on Fire

[Sivan]

Sivan laughed along with Destyn; his joy was infectious.

"Forging," he corrected, though a part of him wanted to be there when Destyn called Torin's work forgery.

His glee was more measured when Destyn's was at the frippery of titles.

"Groups of people need leaders," he allowed, both for kings and clan elders, but he shrugged, not really thinking much of such things. He had been closer to power in Dalquia, his mother a respected diplomat, than in Silfanore, his father a wastrel. In Kalzasi, he had stumbled blindly—literally—into the Shinsei. He didn't really know how social mobility worked here, how he would be treated once he wasn't Jacun's apprentice any longer. He wasn't a citizen, so his protections were less protected than most.

"I think you would be a good parent, even an elder, once you are old."

He didn't know whether it would do Destyn more good to move on than to stay. The road was in his blood, it seemed, but his remaining connections were here—Torin, Sivan, and now Urs. While Urs had mentioned Zaichaer, he didn't think the man would stay there. He hoped Destyn wouldn't follow him there. They had been the authors of his tragedy, after all.

"Will you look old when you are old, or will you look just the same? Glamour allows for anything, doesn't it?"

While it was magical, it was more akin to Sivan's spiritwalking than his Summoning—an inherited thing rather than one burned into the soul and trained. It was just another facet of Destyn he had yet to learn.

[Destyn]

Set My World on Fire

Kalzasi - 6 Glade, 122

Destyn wrinkled his nose and shook his head.

"Nooo..." He bit his lip and offered Sivan an apologetic shrug, "I am pretty sure it is forgery." He was absolutely certain he'd heard that word before, and 'forging' didn't sound right at all. That sounded like one of the ridiculous amount of Common euphemisms for sexual relations- like 'porking' and 'the beast with two backs'. Common-speakers, Destyn thought, were very strange about sex.

"But good leaders do not need to be addressed by their majesty or their excellency- they should, you know, um... exude it!" Destyn clarified. "We have elders, but we do not have to call them Your Eldership. This is, I think, pompous and weird. If someone is majestic, they can just be majestic. If someone needs to be called Your Majesty, they probably are, you know, doubtful about their, um... majesty."

"That is nice of you to say, thank you!" He offered, smiling a bit sheepishly. "I do not feel ready, but I feel, still, responsible. I do not want to leave the world too long without a Clann na Feithidí Uisce." He knitted his brow at Sivan's question, which he answered himself immediately.

"Yes... When I was young I looked more of the forest. When I became interested in humans and their language, I came to look more human. I imagine it will change again as I get older. Sometimes I think I should distance myself from humanity, after what they did, but another part is scared that if I did I would be more of a target. I cannot be reckless, or else there will never again be a Clann na Feithidí Uisce. Why do you ask? Do you not like the way I look now?"

Set My World on Fire

[Sivan]

"Forgery, then," he aceded with a smile. Perhaps his humor was odd, but he would enjoy seeing Torin's perplexed look when he was accused of such.

After some consideration, he nodded again. "You are likely correct and your people wiser... I don't know how numerous your people are... whether the leaders of the Courts themselves require more shows of respect. I suppose the elves and the humans and others... align themselves with hierarchies like armies because the world has been so dangerous for so long..."

He shrugged, letting go of that line of thought. Sivan himself managed to mostly do what he wished, owing some allegiance to whomever was currently his teacher, though soon enough, he would be on his own. It seemed strange, though, as the conversation carried on, to think about his future without Destyn there, or to think about his future without Destyn's intertwined. Things could change so easily, but he hoped he would live to see Destyn grow older and, if not the elder tasked with all the responsibility, at least an elder with family that would honor the family that had been taken from him.

"You look perfect. You are perfect. I just don't know if your appearance will change naturally with age as it does for other races, or if it is all a matter of your will... I suppose either way, you will still be perfect." With that, he smiled.

[Destyn]

Set My World on Fire

Kalzasi - 6 Glade, 122

Destyn pondered,

“In truth I know not whether my clan’s ways are common or cultish to the eyes of most Fae. We have been long from our realms and cut off from our ancient allegiances… I can only do my best to interpret the way my ancestors interpreted the Old Ways.” He shrugged. His expression was bemused, but he didn’t seem overly disturbed by this acknowledgment of his own ignorance.

“I do not think we are subject to aging as other races are, though I have not experienced much. I have only recently matured beyond adolescence. I have been growing and developing- in some ways consciously in other ways thoughtlessly. Since my Rite I have not changed in ways that I did not intend.

“It may sound conceded to say, but I agree… in my eyes I am indeed perfect for I am as I designed me. If I noted an imperfection, I would revise it. To be outwardly imperfect seems unnecessary when I harbour such abundant flaws beneath my pristine surface.”

Set My World on Fire

[Sivan]

Bemused by Destyn's words, Sivan wondered if he oughtn't to delve into the Everwilds through magical craft in order to find out. The questions would be academic, though. The Fae'ethalan in Ransera had their own culture now, for better or for worse.

But he frowned when Destyn began to speak of internal flaws.

"What do you mean?" he asked carefully. The elf had been privy to his friend's darker emotions, the dreams of violence in his past that had bereft him of his clan. This was different, however. If Destyn was internalizing guilt or other negativity and owning it as some imperfection in him, then that was dangerous.

A Dratori knew that only too well; self-knowledge and self-mastery were necessary to keep the berserker rages at bay. In Destyn's place, Sivan might have gone blind with fury and killed the Zaichaeri until they brought him down.

He didn't like to think of Destyn struggling with things in silence, so he hoped he would share. It was possible Sivan could help, or perhaps just airing things kept in darkness would help make them less painful.

[Destyn]

Set My World on Fire

Kalzasi - 6 Glade, 122

Destyn tilted his head- Noting the concern in Sivan's expression as he inquired after clarification. The reaction surprised the Fae slightly as he hadn't intended to express anything weighty.

"Oh!" He adopted a sheepish grin, "I only mean that I cannot change my soul as I can change my body. It does not..." He tilted his head, unsure of why he started his sentence that way, and redirecting: "I am as handicapped, in this way, as any other mortal. But more aware, perhaps, of the frustration because I can change myself outwardly with a lot of intent and a bit of effort." He lowered his eyes,

"I suppose I wish I knew how to adapt better to your world and its ways... to civilisation, I mean. I am aware perforce that I do not fit in. Sometimes I do not mind this, but other times I merely wish I could blend into the background more easily. In the woods I can do this with ease, but in the city?" He wrinkled his nose and shook his head.

"If it were not for you... Torin... Timon..." He tilted his head, "and, perhaps a bit, Urs, I would, I think, return to nature. But I would be, in ways, alone. I would have many friends amongst the plants and animals, but it is not the same. They are.... Sometimes simple, sometimes enigmatic and remote. They are not friends like you. And I can be very lonely in their midst."

Set My World on Fire

[Sivan]

"Well," he began slowly, thoughtfully tousling Destyn's hair, "perhaps when the war is over, we could build a little cabin in the woods, in the mountains. I know Torin's friend takes him out to enjoy the Lake and to reacquaint him with nature... It would be nice to have a little place to get away from the city and city life. We could move our strange little clan out for a week or so... Torin for holiday, you to spend time where you are more comfortable, and me... well, I can always collect reagents out there..."

Sivan smiled slightly thinking on it, his hand still absently petting his friend.

He could see Timon frolicking with Huntress, Torin making eyes at his fox-faced friend, and perhaps they could invite Urs, as well. At least he knew Destyn liked everyone in that picture—well, they hadn't really spoken much about Torin's lover. To Sivan's mind, if he made Torin happy, then that was all he needed to know. It did confuse things, though, when Torin looked at him with similar desires. At least his friendship with Destyn was simple; the fae'ethalan had shown no signs of sexual interest, though he wondered if that was what was nesting inside the slender blond when he thought about Urs. That could certainly be complicated.

Would he get jealous of Sivan? Would he want to be involved with Sivan as well as Urs? His heart shivered with fear, not knowing for a moment whether that would be a good thing or a bad thing, but then he calmed himself. He loved Destyn, and he was certain they could figure things out, even if they both had feelings for Urs.

"A city home and a wilderness home," he mused, smiling again. "Our journey might not be as far as some clans, but we would still journey together."

fin.