R E W A R D S
Name: Ivar
XP: 10, can be used for magic.
Requested Lore: +10 Lores
Note(s):
Hi there!
One of my biggest feedbacks here is to try expanding your vocabulary in order to better engage the reader. Many portions of this thread repeat the same phrases over and over. I would also recommend utilizing descriptive text more to portray the actual usage of the magic. As a beginning practitioner in both Scrivening and Traversion, one of the most helpful tools to getting a feel for the magic, its applications and usage is to elaborate on the description of its use and incorporate the terminology associated with it.
For instance, instead of simply saying that Ivar teleported again and again, try something along the lines of “Ivar opened up his senses to the flow of aether, he took hold of that flow and aligned the spatial pathways to traverse the Slipspace, blinking from where he stood. In that moment, as he traveled through the liminal space between the material world and the world in-between, he could feel the rush of magic flowing through him. Popping back into the material world he stumbled slightly as he caught himself, grinning at having accomplished a successful Blink.”
In this way you are applying the actual terminology associated with the concepts in Ransera, displaying an actual grasp on its meaning and how to utilize it.
If you need guidance and direction, feel free to reach out to me!