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heir to a kingdom
Posted: Thu May 18, 2023 9:17 pm
by Talon
50 Glade 123 Steel
He began the day as had become his habit in days of late. He greeted the dawn as was his right to do so, the sun rose on the horizon only to be blocked by the inky blackness of the Eclipse. It filled him with a certain level of anger to see the shadow block the life-giving light of the sun as it crept over the horizon. As soon as it did, he allowed his own light to spread and shine across the full breadth of every corner he could reach. For hundreds of kilometers, the light of his nimbus spread outward from the Palace of the First Wind, revitalizing and recharging those devices that depended on the aethereal flow that the blanket of his divinity provided. He remained there, in quiet contemplation for the entire stretch of time that the rising dawn lasted, until the sun and the Eclipse reached the point in the sky where he relinquished his dominion as the Morninglord to the natural progression of the sun’s journey through the heavens.
Rising to his feet, he let out a sigh followed by a rolling of his shoulders. He spread his wings, stretching them then ran a hand through his hair. Before his hand fell away from his hair, he felt the warmth of his beloved dragon wrap around the very core of his being. The presence of his husband’s mind brushing against his own consciousness, enveloping him, pushing away at the edges of his stressors made the tension between his shoulders fade.
Do you wish me to go with you, beloved?
Across the bond, Talon reached for the presence of his husband. He performed the telepathic equivalent of pressing their brows together and holding hands.
No. This is something I need to do on my own.
Thoughts passed between the two of them, thoughts that did not need words. As he turned his focus back to the outside world, Talon drew in another deep breath. He took a step and stepped across the threshold between the material world and the realm of the gods. He stood looking up at the great facade of the Pantheon. It was a palatial temple that befitted the convocation of gods that assembled within it. Ascending the steps, he thought he could hear the distinct voices of various others already in close discussion. That came as no surprise to him. To his knowledge, there had not been anything like this among the realms of the gods. There was a certain draw to it that, even now, he felt in the back of his mind. A calling that compelled him to assembled and bring Order to the many problems that were arrayed before the assembly of gods. Perhaps that was the work of the Dragon King or perhaps it was the workings of his own imagination.
The Dragon King. His Father.
He had wanted to speak with him before but the opportunity had passed. Nevertheless, an opportunity had presented itself to try and approach him once again. He entered the assembly hall of the great temple, in the chamber where the pantheon gathered in full. Within it he found the being he was in search of.
“Avatar.” He inclined his head to his Father’s emissary. With that acknowledgement out of the way he paused. Some level of fear entered him. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being heard. Fear of being seen as childish. Fear of being acknowledged. He pushed past those fears and made his request anyways.
“I…I wish to speak with my Father. Will you make the request for me?” It was beyond him to even attempt to grasp the weight of everything the Dragon King contemplated on a day to day basis. But he could understand requesting the attention of a King. He had been born a prince. He was a prince, even among the gods, not that he truly understood what that meant, but perhaps his Father would yet deign to provide some answers.
Re: heir to a kingdom
Posted: Thu May 18, 2023 9:57 pm
by Pharaoh
The other gods present were in conference amongst themselves in the great hall before Eikaen's daïs when Arcas appeared at Pantheon. Several eyes would dart in his direction when he made his way toward the steps leading up to the still and silent Steward of Pantheon.
As Arcas approached the daïs he would find the statuesque figure of Avatar posed as if in tableau. There was something ethereal telling him that this was no lifeless inert vessel, even when it was unmoving. Only at the sound of its name uttered with intention did Avatar spring to motion, a gentle smile painting platinum lips.
"Greetings, Arcas. There is no need for me to pose this request: For by speaking to me you are already speaking to the King of All Creation. I stand his plenipotentiary and may speak his mind on his behalf... At least as much of his mind as he is willing to bare." Despite the emptiness in its metallic eyes there was such an air of near familial warmth emanating from this entity. It was not emitting any arcane Craft to urge soothing sentiments, and yet one wanted to feel at ease in its presence. There was something almost fragile and vulnerable about Avatar.
"You are owed much, Arcas, and there is much he would have you know... But you know your needs better than I possibly could. Why don't you tell me what you would like for the King of All Creation to hear, and I will give voice to his earnest replies as is my function." His tone was sentimental, but not soft. The others present were observing and, in some cases, unabashedly eavesdropping on the exchange between Arcas and Avatar.
Re: heir to a kingdom
Posted: Thu May 18, 2023 11:28 pm
by Talon
A thread of irritation passed through him but he immediately stamped it down. He did not want to speak through someone to have so personal a conversation. But that was the crux of the issue. The warm, compassionate, loving father that he remembered had been the human version of his father. Eikaen, the father that had explored with him as a boy, that had shown him the wonder of dragons, that had taught him how to wield a bow and hunt wild game, that man was dead. There was only the Dragon King now and who was he in the face of God of Gods? A petulant child wrestling with the desire to beg his father for so many answers contrasted with his life as a hardened warrior with thousands of years of hell and hardship left to stand on his own.
“Thank you, Avatar but I wish to speak with the King directly on this matter, not his intermediary. If that is not possible, then I apologize but I will take my leave.” He did not altogether care whether or not the other gods heard. Let them hear. Let them watch. His upbringing as the royal in a mortal court warred with the thousands of years of wrestling with feelings of total abandonment. One side was very much winning and he knew that if he was denied a direct audience with his father now, he would turn away and never seek another. That part of him that yearned for the family he was robbed of quailed at the idea but…had he not earned that much? Just this once?
Re: heir to a kingdom
Posted: Fri May 19, 2023 12:10 am
by Pharaoh
Avatar knitted his metallic brow, a look of anguished empathy tightening his expressive countenance.
"Arcas." The name might have been a wail of grief, even as it was delicately uttered.
"I am no mere intermediary. I am a Part of the Whole, just as you are. I will not beg you to reconsider, but I will bide you to, for I know that you are no stranger to sacrifice. I ask you to contemplate this question with the mind of the Martyr: Can you find it in yourself to have Faith that the King of All Creation who dwells concurrently within the Present, Past and Future has cogent reasons for drawing certain lines? If you can breach the gates of your grievances and the palisades of your pride... I would ask that you stay. I would ask that you open your heart to me, so that I might open his heart to you..." Avatar broke the fixed eye-contact he'd been maintaining hitherto this instant, as if Talon's ire was too much for him to face.
"If you doubt his fond regard, then look around you. Regard this palace of potential he forged in the moment you called out to him, so that he might look you in the eye. Now he looks at you through mine. You can have what you want, Arcas, if not on the terms that you might prefer. However..." Avatar lifted his gaze to meet Arcas' once more, it appeared to be a struggle- a conscious choice to make an uncomfortable gesture.
"If you would stand fast in demanding the specific tableau of your desiring... If you would step away without even asking why it must not be granted, we will grieve, but we will understand. But if you would stay, then speak your soul's truth and let him know it... for I am Avatar: I am Compromise."
Re: heir to a kingdom
Posted: Fri May 19, 2023 1:00 am
by Talon
“Compromise?” The word was spoken as a whisper. “Compromise?”
“Compromise.” He repeated it, the word feeling hollow on his lips. He scoffed and shook his head, looking off into the distance. “Compromise. I suppose it was compromise when you let the Crooked Man plunge his hand into my mother’s chest.”
A memory. The bone-chilling horror of seeking that bent and twisted figure kill his mother and then the soul crushing dread that had clawed its way into him as the darkness began to drag him toward its depths.
“I suppose it was compromise when you let Seon get possessed by that vile thing.” He whipped his head back in Avatar’s direction. “I suppose it was compromise when I was left sobbing over her corpse, covered in the ashes of a broken ruin, surrounded by death!”
Anger began to rise inside of him.
“Was it compromise, Father, when I was left to fend for myself in that ancient world? Was it compromise when--when my own brother plunged his sword through my chest!?” Silver-white fire sparked in his eyes. The walls holding back the dam of nearly ten thousand years of restrained emotions began to crack.
“Was it compromise when I was robbed of my mortal family as Kaena and forced to fight the evils that rotted away the old forests and slaughtered the Titans!? Was it compromise when I fought the Leviathans as Xyren to save the world from being devoured by dark tides!? Was it compromise when I lived as Andrus and fought the swarm of Gravespawn!? Compromise!? Ten thousand years, I have lived and lived again, always fighting a battle that haunted me no matter how desperately I tried to avoid it!” He was beginning to shake.
“Do I mean so little to you!? Am I just…just a remnant of that passing interest in a mortal life? Have I not proven myself worthy to you? Did I not break myself enough in service to this world? Did I not bear the weight of enough chains? Was I not--was I not broken and humbled enough? What more must I do, Father? Must I return to my cell in that Imperial tower!? Must I become the whore that the empire sought to make me? The enslaved toy to be released from his cage at the emperor’s bidding!? Must I be perverted into a creature I no longer recognize as Lyren’s armor sought to make me!?” Tears were flowing down, through the silver-white fires that burned in his eyes.
“What more lessons do I need to learn from you, Father?! What more do I have to prove to you for you to just be there!? Did I not give myself to my brother soon enough? Did I dishonor your might? Must I surrender my mortality? Must I surrender my divinity!? Tell me, please!” He was pleading, begging his father by the end. His hands shook as he reached out helplessly to the only representation of his father that he had before dropping his hands and casting his gaze to the floor.
“Am I nothing to you? Are we nothing to you?” His thoughts went to his brother, perhaps the only other person who could understand his present agony. But even now, Seon was beyond him. A Shadow in the Dark, a brother he loved but did not know and perhaps was too wounded to become known.
Re: heir to a kingdom
Posted: Fri May 19, 2023 11:39 am
by Pharaoh
Avatar nodded once when the lilt of Arcas' delivery made a question of Compromise. Soon it would become a statement, then a theme. Avatar would not pose corrections, clarifications or cross-examinations to the tidal waves of woe that brimmed. He stood like an edifice as the tide lashed against him. Even as Arcas spat the word like it was bile, in remaining here to rage he'd performed an act of Compromise. This was solace to Avatar, whose expressive countenance looked as though he might have been adopting each burden uttered as his own.
When Arcas' body began to quake, Avatar half extended a hand, but halted it between them, uncertain and the tone shifted away from parsing the past. Now, it seemed, they were in the here and now.
At the end of the oration, Avatar was silent. He lowered his eyes, at once empty and teeming with sentiment. It was as if he needed a moment to process, or felt Arcas need a moment to feel the weight of what he'd just jettisoned.
Finally, Avatar spoke:
"Some of that was Compromise." He conceded, "But all of it?" He spoke in soft, apologetic tones, "Was life." He paused for a heartbeat and lifted his eyes to regard Arcas once more.
"You are blessed and cursed with more lives than most. You may think that The King of All Creation is a dilletante who dabbled too briefly and superficially in mortality. However, he was eternally altered by the experience, and thus so was the Cosmos for how could it not be?" Avatar's fixed gaze deepened.
"You are no more a stranger to the concept of Duty than to that of Sacrifice. They are often comrades. To have known Mortality is to be a better King of All Creation. But to remain mortal?" Avatar shook his head. "The lofty Duty of sustaining Creation requires Sacrifices you cannot fathom. Not now." Avatar whispered, as if to himself: "Not yet..." He trailed off, as if lost in thought for a moment, before his posture stiffened and his voice rose and resonated.
"You covet his favour, Arcas. You were forged of his loins. This is known to all of Pantheon. What greater favour might The King of All Creation endow while still sustaining his Duty?" Avatar softened again.
"Your feelings are your own and they are all of them valid. The King of All Creation has feelings as well, but they must, at times, be Compromised in favour of his Duty. He has seen the outcome of faltering in this and it is calamitous to a degree that would quake the very foundations of the Aetherium..." There was a flash of genuine terror in Avatar's features.
"The path toward what you seek is a door through which one enters and does not depart. A forfeiture. A sacrifice and a compromise. I bide you do not seek to cross its threshold before you are well and truly prepared."
Re: heir to a kingdom
Posted: Fri May 19, 2023 12:48 pm
by Talon
He stared at Avatar, his eyes searching, seeking. For what? He did not exactly know but for a moment, he thought he really could see some echo of his Father within this platinum Steward. The fire in his eyes slowly died down. The shaking of his limbs lessened. The tears slowed their descent. He turned his head away from his Father’s intermediary, his jaw flexing, clenching and unclenching as he heard the words, spoken and unspoken.
Duty. He knew duty. He knew obligation. By all the gods in the heavens, he knew it well. The heavy weight of it and the consequences of ignoring it. Did he know that the King of Kings had a duty that far surpassed anything that he could comprehend? Of course he did. Logically, he knew that Eikaen had responsibilities that he could not possibly fathom. For he had duties that stretched beyond mortal knowing. He was the Lightbringer. The Morninglord. He was the Crusader. The Judge. He was the Hopegiver. It made him angry for even as he understood the challenges and weight of those responsibilities, it did not eliminate the millennia of struggle. No matter how much he tried to tell himself that he had long ago made peace with the fact that he had to stand on his own, here he stood before the Avatar of the Dragon King, doing what he always did…trying to fix a thing he felt was broken.
In spite of all of that, he took a deep breath. He ran a hand through his hair. He flexed and extended his wings then let them settle. He let out that deep breath and chose to recognize this moment for what it was. For there was one more thing that he was…
“What now?” It was a genuine question. For countless years he had spent the whole of his existence fighting either to free Seon or to face the next great calamity tied to the vile thing that had taken possession of him. Ransera’s history was written around the dance that had been their feud. It was over. Seon was free. He was distant but there were times when he thought he could see his brother in the shadows in the corner of his eye.
“I am forged of the Dragon King but…” He shook his head. “What does that mean? What does being the Prince of Dragons mean? I feel as though I am a ship with no sails. Left to drift among the Aethereal Sea. Even I need Hope, Father. Even I need a Light to balance my Darkness. I do not know your mind. I know only what I have lived. I strive to uphold what I believe in. I worry...”
He looked around. Again, he did not care that the other gods were present. Whether they were physically there or not was irrelevant. There were certainly those that could have listened regardless.
"What if it is not enough?"
Re: heir to a kingdom
Posted: Fri May 19, 2023 6:23 pm
by Pharaoh
Avatar remained attentive, even when Arcas stood in silent contemplation, though he did seem to be consoled by the softness that supplanted the ire. Even if it was resignation rather than relief, it seemed to put Avatar at greater ease. He paused, observing the shifting body language of the Avialae form. By and by, when Arcas spoke again, it was an inevitable albeit an impossible enquiry. Avatar looked askance, as if processing the broad-reaching, open-ended question posed. When Arcas elaborated, Avatar shifted his almost child-like gaze back to meet the eyes of the Lightbringer.
"There are things that can be articulated and there are things that must be experienced, Arcas. I will, however, say this unto you: In this moment we currently inhabit, that mantle does not mean what it might. It holds more of potential than of power. It is a moniker which might be held in hallowed reverence or a title which might instill dread in those who misunderstand The King of All Creation. It might be lionised in devotion to one who manifests its insinuations or which might be maligned or summarily dismissed by those who observe that an Eternal Sovereign has no want of a successor. It is a mantle you currently claim as your own. Cogitate: Is it one that you exemplify?" Avatar paused, tilting his head as gentle eyes searched Arcas' face for a reaction.
"An opportunity will soon arise..." A few of the other gods present seemed to perk attentively to this. "...an historic and unprecedented event which might presage great bounty or grim catastrophe. Should you choose to partake, you might flex this muscle... Should you let it pass, you might leave it to wither in atrophy. It is not mine to tell you what to expect or when. The King of All Creation cannot accord you that sort of unseemly favour. There are others who might seize upon this opportunity if you do not, and that is just in the eyes of the King of All Creation." He paused, eyes furrowing and voice deepening in emphasis:
"You are enough, Arcas. But I ask you this: What is unfulfilled potential other than a bootless epithet?"
Re: heir to a kingdom
Posted: Sat May 20, 2023 1:39 pm
by Talon
He considered what Avatar had to say. It was not satisfying but it was…something. It was more than perhaps he expected. If what Avatar was saying was true, it was more than he could expect. The Dragon King had given himself a mortal life to better understand the extent of his own creation but it was not a life he could return to in any form. Even if Arcas partly wanted it. Maybe it was the fact that he had lived through life after life across the Ages that gave him such mortal longings, to want to have that closeness among his true relations because he did not have the weight of continuous years to contemplate. Maybe that was just his nature. He had always been the more…sensitive…of the two of his father’s sons. He knew that about himself.
“I do not understand.” He was tired of prophetic riddles. Not for the first time he wished that perhaps he had taken Arthel up on his offer of being able to perceive the weave of Time. It was a passing fancy and he already knew that he absolutely could not let himself have that kind of power. He would want to change too much and to the detriment of too many. As a demigod, who knew the kind of damage he could unleash? No, it was better that he be faced with the present and left to consider the future as wisely as he could. He was silent for a long moment as he thought about the many things that lay ahead.
“Do I exemplify it? I seek to. That is why I am here. It is why I am pleading with my Father to speak his mind to me. Yet in that endeavor, I am left with more uncertainty about everything than I was before.” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, rubbing away what he felt like was the beginnings of a headache.
“I am enough.” He shook his head. It certainly did not feel like he was enough. This whole conversation had done little except to leave him more emotionally exhausted than he already was. It demanded he be content with simply a head nod, a passing glance, to be forever at an arm’s length away. That was not what he wanted but it was what he was being given.
“Compromise.” He spoke to himself. He ran his hand through his hair once more letting out another sigh. He wiped a thumb over his eyes and met Avatar’s gaze. When he spoke, he spoke as much to his Father as he did to all who were assembled in the room.
“I will not pretend to be happy. I cannot. Not after everything I have been through. Not after everything I have become. But, I accept this for what it is; a compromise. I accept it for what it must be.” He searched Avatar’s face, searched as though he could peer past the intermediary and look directly upon his Father.
"I love you, Father. Perhaps it is a small thing to you, you who have all of creation in your hands but it is true, even if it is difficult to do so." He had found that he embraced love far more readily than he sought wrath. Anger was more exhausting to him than mercy and kindness. He supposed that was what had led many to believe he was a target far easier to hit than others. He wanted to say more but to do so would have just gone in circles. He was enough. He would have to believe that. More than that, he would start to live as if it were true.
“There is a family of dragons that seeks to parlay with my Father. I think I shall visit them in His stead.” He inclined his head to Avatar. “Thank you. When this opportunity you speak of arises…” He spoke clearly so that all assembled could hear him.
“Those who seek to steal my birthright can either greet me in peace...” He narrowed his eyes. The dreadful memory of those dark tendrils seeking to drag him into the pitch blackness crept forward. An act that was only stopped by his brother’s sacrifice. It was met with the memory of him uniting with Seon and finally granting his brother the strength and power he needed to break free. In the end, only his gift to his brother had enabled him to break free. In the end, that parasitic darkness had known fear in a way that even he had not been able to fully grasp. It had been overwhelmed by the Hope that he had given his brother.
“...or they can learn why even an Old God feared my wrath.”
He turned, descending the dais that he might depart the celestial palace of the gods.
Re: heir to a kingdom
Posted: Sat May 20, 2023 2:35 pm
by Pharaoh
Avatar's expression was one of sensitive affection. There was something in him that seemed like a reflection... perhaps an amplification of Arcas himself, but a more childlike, more innocent version than the one who stood upon the daïs.
"I say in kindness that you have had many lifetimes during which to shoulder this mantle, Arcas. But your focus on other matters was righteous- You are a demigod like all others and master of three domains, which must ever be your foremost priority. Your Duty. And yet there is still so much mortality in your reckoning... so much Talon infused into Arcas, and that gives you a particular perspective. Much of it is sentimental and I do empathise with your desires for vindication... validation." He paused, allowing Arcas to speak on.
The expression that crossed the face of Avatar at Arcas' proclamation of discontent could only be described as crestfallen. He knew that he hadn't offered satisfaction, and yet it seemed to pain this sentimental entity.
"It is never a small thing to be loved, Arcas. Never." Avatar protested. "In the emptiness that preceded Creation it was for this very sentiment that the stars were hung in the vacuum."
When Arcas spoke of his intentions for the future, Avatar inclined his head in acknowledgement. There was a glint of anguish in those expressive eyes, but he seemed to be fighting against it... As if he did not wish for his copious emotions to be so plain upon his child-like visage.
"Arcas." He spoke softly, "The breadth of the mortality that yet dwells in you after so many lifetimes... It is among the things The King of All Creation most cherishes in you. But it is also that which makes him fear for you the most. Tread carefully on these paths you choose to walk and ponder in Divinity what impulses you brook in mortality. The King of All Creation recognises that to rule is to serve- The higher the throne, the greater the burden. Take heed: Not all paths end in the embrace of your desiring, and Duty must prevail, lest calamitous consequences betide. When he broached mortality, this was foremost among the lessons he learnt." Avatar straightened his back,
"Farewell, Arcas. Return to me whenever you like. I am Avatar. I am..." The light in his eyes began to dim, "Humility." And with that, Avatar went inert. In stillness his form took on an expression resembling relief. Perhaps the burden of facing such powerful emotions was difficult to shoulder. Or perhaps he was merely a reflection of the onlooker.
