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Primal Solutions Ⅰ

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2023 2:00 am
by Læbirius
☠ 4th of Glade, Year 123, A.o.S ☠
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Company: Varinios | Thoughts: There must be a way | Mood: Determined, Focused


Læbirius was never shy about his eagerness to learn, often finding the challenge to be thrilling and worthwhile once his thirst was satiated in his research. Now he was at an impasse in searching for information on the primals, finding that these creatures are hard to study and many who are unfortunate to get close to them end up dead. Læ was never this perplexed by this, going through books upon books on the shelves in the main library within Drathera.

One after another nothing was concrete enough to be of any use to him, and looking over to Varinios who was across the table from him, it didn't seem as though he was having any luck either. Læ found himself burying his face into the current book he was reading unsure of what to do next. Unbeknownst to himself or Varinios, someone was watching them, and smirked, as they walked passed the table, dropping a journal of sorts beside Læ's foot. Noticing this, he went to pick it up and return it to the person but they had already vanished from sight.

Looking at the book he noticed the words on it were in a language he didn't quite recognize, but upon looking at the contents, it was in Common. To his surprise, it seemed to be a compendium on primals. He looked around and couldn't see anyone in the immediate area, and upon closer inspection, he could tell the book was old, very old, the pages worn a bit as he flipped through them. Sitting down he found pages that seemed to give some semblance of information on the creatures both feared and revered among the people of Ecith.

To understand a Primal is to know that, these one of a kind creatures, have long since transcended the capabilities of normal fauna to become something far greater, far more powerful.
No one truly knows or understands how these creatures come to roam our plane of existence, though it is widely believed that the corruptions that escaped from the ancient Rift Gates of old have caused fauna to mutate into what they are now
Though others are not so keen on believing such theories, believing they have persisted long before the creation of RIft Gates, given the lapse in Orkhan recorded back then.
What is widely believed, however, is that these lone and unique beings can sustain themselves on normal organic materials as well as the element in which the primal hails from.
Additionally, where they travel, their element begins to alter the natural world in new and often unexpected ways, continuing to increase the diversity of the native wildlife of Ecith.


Finally, he found something worth reading, and his excitement was noticed by Varinious who came over to see as well. "Found something interesting I see?" he inquired, looking over Læ's shoulder to read the words written as well. "It seems that the primals are each of an elemental plane, which would mean that our obstacle is of one as well." he was trying to remember what Jae had said about the Queen of Kythera, but at the moment he couldn't quite pull it to the forefront.

As they continued to read both mages were astounded to learn of the different primals that dotted the region and their unique histories. Læ was speechless to think that creatures such as these actually exist in this world, but given he has seen actual dragons, it wasn't too far off for him to believe. Continuing through the texts of the book they came upon their query, the Queen of Kythera.


Very little is known about the Queen of Kythera, for she is one of the newest discovered Primals.
She appeared in the ruins of Kythera following the war with the Galerian Imperium.
Kythera, having been sacrificed to destroy the Imperial land forces left it vulnerable.
The Queen appeared and has claimed it as her territory ever since.
She is a large, living flower with massive vines and thorns and offshoots, with the main part of her body rooted in the center of the city.
Her vines stretch all over the city, with those closest to her body being as large as buildings, and those at the edges of the city being small and thin.
Even among the other Primals, the Queen has presented a few unique traits that perplex Ecithians that attempt to study and collect information on the Primals.
The first is that the Queen is actively growing in size.
None of the other Primals have ever been observed to be growing.
Secondly, the Queen has the ability to consume living beings, and reproduce them as plantlike versions of themselves that are under her control.
They live in and around the Queen's territory and operate first and foremost as protection for her.
Finally, it has been observed that the Queen appears to have the ability to wield all of the traits from the known Flora of Ecith and use them at will.


It was this revelation that caused Læ to go into thinking mode. "How do we even begin to deal with something like that? She could have an endless horde of plant thralls at her disposal and I can't say I'm familiar with Ecithian plant life but I'm not keen to find out all of what it can do by her demonstration." he vented, rubbing the temples of his skull as he tried to wrap his mind around a feasible plan. It was starting to look like a fool's errand now, as he didn't see a way passed this obstacle.

"She isn't invisible my boy, there has to be a way to defeat her, we just have to find it." he assured, going to retrieve a few books. Læ was coming to think it was something that was easier said than done, as there were many things they would have to consider. Varinios returned with a few books, mostly war tactics books or articles on sieging cities."If she hails from the plane of wood it would mean she would be vulnerable to fire, the question is how do we set a primal that's the size of a city and growing ablaze?"

With that question posed, the two of them continued their search for an answer to their dilemma. Læ took to some of the books brought over by Varinios, trying to see if there was something within Ecithian war tactics that could be of aid to them. Among his research, it seemed that the orks of old either used siege engines or.....Dragons! "Thast it!!!" he exclaimed, causing Varinios to look at him with surprise. "Siege engines may not be effective against her, and to muster an army would be pointless cause she could simply consume the fallen and spit them back out at us as plant versions. But the one thing I think that could be effective against her is dragons." he began.

"And what makes you think a dragon of all things would be so inclined to help us? Where would we even find one?" the older male inquired, a look of doubt on his face. Læ could only smirk as he was confident in the idea. "Jae said it herself that they are often close to the city if not roaming the streets themselves. Im certain we can find one and ask them for their aid or some form of advice in dealing with her." he proposed, looking at his mentor with a fiery determination in his eyes.

Varinios groaned, knowing that this was not something he could dissuade the other from, and simply nodded. "Where would we even begin to look for them, my good boy? he asked, to which Læ simply shrugged and smiled, placing the primal codex on the table. "I'm sure it won't be too hard to find them if we ask the right questions." he retorted. Both men chuckled as they seemed to be set on the next part of their endeavors.

The watching gaze of another however remained on them both as they exited the library, the figure coming from around a bookshelf to watch them leave. "Seems the fates are forever in my favor this day, I will have to keep a close eye on this one for sure. He could prove quite useful in my experiment." they purred, a smile curling its way onto their features as they picked up an ornate sorcerer's staff. Moments later they soon sauntered out of the den of learning as well.




"Common Speech"
"Vastian Speech"
"Vallenor Speech"
"Self-Thoughts"

Re: Primal Solutions Ⅰ

Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2023 5:56 am
by Memento
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R E V I E W ED

Word Count: 1418

Lores: 6

Investigation: Small Details Tie into a Larger Picture
Investigation: Do Not Lose Focus by Obsessing Over the Finer Points
Research: How to Locate Relevant Tomes in Drathera’s Library
Research: How to Use Relevant Research Materials to Form New Theories
Research: Books are a Valuable Resource when Seeking New Knowledge
Research: Consider Different Angles When Faced with Problems

Experience: 8xp, solo, cannot be used for magic

Note: I’ve taken time to sharpen up your lores from very general knowledge to more specific points. As they read, they explained an experience instead of what was learned from it. Using books to learn about a subject is rather broad vs the value of books in this situation, which was my goal with rewording it a bit differently. I also changed the Investigation lores because they read very similar and as they were, it didn’t feel like something really learned, rather than observed.

In terms of my opinion of the thread, I found it straightforward and clear. I haven’t read Lae’s work, so I was a touch disappointed that I didn’t feel like I walked away with a better understanding of his character goals or relationships. Looking over his CS, he reads as a rich character, but I felt this thread was maybe a little “too research-y”, vs story driven. That can be tricky with threads like these.

I gathered he wanted to take down a primal, but not exactly why, or what his relationship was with his NPC, until I did more digging on his CS. I think you really had a great opportunity here that was missed. Your creativity is remarkable, and you’re choosing the vibrant setting of Ecith. Yet I didn’t get the atmosphere, the scents, the feelings, the culture. A library in this city, is very different from Zaichaer, vs a city like Sol’Valen. Without those details, I had nothing to really immerse myself in. It felt more generic, and I KNOW you don’t do generic.

I want to be spoiled! Give me the goods! You have a great understanding of lore, but you can give more.

You talk of Lae being astounded, speechless, etc etc, and exposition can be direct and useful in storytelling, but don’t forget to mix in the sweet stuff. Since these threads are info heavy, with little conflict in plot, you should use these moments to dig into some literary characterization. Readers will connect and want to read more.

Don’t forget about your audience while you’re on your grind. We want to experience this journey with him.
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