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Teloc Ozongo - Aidolon (Aegis)

Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2024 1:20 am
by Læbirius
Image
☠ Teloc Ozongo, Executioner of Torment ☠

  • Sphere: Infernal
    Current Level: Lesser - Greater
    Length of Contract: Permanent - Aidolon

    Temperament:
    Teloc's demeanor is that of a guardian, seeing its summoner as the heir to its power, and thus must be protected at all cost. It is noted that Teloc often possesses extremely low tolerance for impoliteness to it or its summoner, as it almost immediately will try to attack the offenders, less calmed down by its bound summoner. As its summoner progresses in proficiency in the magic, Teloc becomes more menacing, taking on the character traits of an executioner ready to drop its axe on the deserving.

    Once fully evolved at the master level, Teloc is of a stoic nature and will spare nothing that stands in the way of it or its summoner, withering those foolish to cross it till nothing remains but bone and ash. With its command over bone, withering fog, and demonic wind Teloc Avavago asserts its dominance upon the living world.

☠ Apprentice
Description:
  • Teloc first appears as a floating wraith. Teloc's form is from the navel up and is about 4ft in height. Covered in tattered rags there is no face to see and the most noticeable feature about the spirit is the eerie green glow surrounding its hands.


Power{s}
  • Spector Blast: Teloc extends its hands upwards, conjures a ball of demonic spectral energy, and then lobs it at its target. As it flies to its target it leaves a spectral trail while wailing. The blast impact is comparable to that of a concussive grenade.
  • Demonic Gust: Teloc uses its body as the epicenter, sending out a wave of demonic wind within a 30ft radius of itself. Those caught by this demonic wind are momentarily blown off their feet for a moment before it disperses.

Re: Teloc Avavago - Aidolon

Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2024 3:08 am
by Aegis
I'm starting the reply for this. However, I'm seeking some feedback from other members of staff on the requirements and limits of aidolons and abilities before I review this, so I have a better understanding of what is able to be approved or not. I will continue this as soon as I receive the necessary feedback.

Re: Teloc Ozongo - Aidolon (Aegis)

Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2024 5:32 am
by Aegis
okay lets go bit by bit.

The first thing that stands out as strange to me is that this Aidolon does not act as though it is growing through a progression in the relationship with Laebirius. Each stage is a massive overall shift in the appearance, temperament, and abilities of the Aidolon. This makes it, in my opinion, an overly complicated affair and clashes with the intent of the Aidolon, which is a being that grows alongside the Summoner. I'd recommend simplifying this entirely. Rather than a complete new ability set every time Laebirius levels up, I'd recommend starting with the 2 Abilities at apprentice, then leveling those abilities up while adding the new ability at each stage, finishing with 5 abilities at Master / Greater for me to review rather than 11 total abilities. That way thematically it remains consistent with the growth rather than being an entirely new spirit each time.

Re: Teloc Ozongo - Aidolon (Aegis)

Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 5:24 am
by Læbirius
i know its taken forever but finally finished the edits for this, im not confident in the abilities but its something