Sometime in the Age of Dreams
Lana caught sight of a few other apprentices between the stacks, talking in hushed tones while they poured over their scrolls. From time to time, one of them would look up toward Sierra and Lana. Some looked confused, others annoyed, and still others sneered as they saw the doll trying to dance. She tried not to notice those gazes in particular, though she knew her movements were stiff and mechanical, like a marionette.
"Relax your shoulders." Sierra's voice was soft and reassuring, and when she looked back at her friend she was smiling. She was clapping in a slow rhythmic pattern, at each clap Lana was supposed to wave her arms in a very particular fashion while raising on one leg. It was awkward. Her body just felt... well, like wood. Her joints complained about every movement, and whenever she tried to copy the fluid movements of her friend she managed to somehow end up looking even more uncoordinated.
"Just focus on me." The clapping stopped as Sierra came closer, gentle hands moving to correct a few positions, "Dancing at every level is an expression of yourself. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says, this is your soul learning to speak to the world."
Lana let herself be corrected, giving way to each poke and prod of Sierra's hands as she let herself be molded by one of significantly greater skill. She could not stop herself from replaying Sierra's words in her mind, even as she was moved about like the doll she was.
Your soul is learning to speak to the world.
Was that really what was happening? Her eyes drifted back over to the group of other apprentices, all of which were now absorbed in their studies once more. It felt odd to Lana. She had never been the type to be... expressive? She had always locked herself away, enjoying the company of her books and the scripts, and the other TRUE scholars who did not care if she could not express her own desires well. What even was desire? What was it to have a soul that spoke?
"Dolls do not have souls." The words slipped out unbidden, and Sierra paused to catch Lana's expression. Her own shifted to something like a concern but quickly was masked with a smile.
"Everything has a soul." She said matter-of-factly, returning to her work, "To quote you, the scripts are the language of the divine, of the world. That must mean that the world itself has a soul, and if it does then everything that makes it up must have one as well." She finished her ministrations, stepping back and nodding. Lana sighed and continued the exercises once more, more slowly this time.
They worked in silence for a time, and it was Sierra that broke it, "You are not a Doll Lana. You know that the others are just--"
"It is fine." Lana interrupted, her brow furrowed in concentration as she worked. The movements, while still difficult did not feel quite so unruly. Sierra had done an excellent job in repositioning her, and her joints felt just a tiny bit looser with each motion. When she looked at Sierra the other woman looked dropped, so Lana continued, "I have dealt with this most of my life. I do not fault them for their opinion. She is my mother after all."
Sierra grimaced, "It is still ridiculous. I do not understand how the rumors started, and neither you nor your mother has done anything to correct them."
Lana shrugged, wobbling slightly before adjusting her foot that she balanced on, "Mother is not one to listen to rumors, or rather she does not care. As I said I do not really mind. I might be a doll, but I am content."
"Lana..."
"Besides," Lana cut in, smiling as she shifted her weight, sweeping her arms out as she fell into a half bow Sierra had shown her. She only wobbled slightly this time, "It is because of those rumors that you and I can do this sort of thing." Straightening Lana pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, frowning as she felt a trickle of sweat on her brown. She wiped it away quickly, stretching her arms over her head as she did so, "If I was not soulless, there would be no reason to teach me how to, as you put it, 'speak so that a soul understands'. Somehow I doubt dancing was intended to be used this way."
At this Sierra laughed, shrugging, "Tell that to the Leh'anafel."
