by sunset waters

[Talon]

T A L O N

Searing 53, 122
7:15 PM
Lighthouse near the Imperial City Port

Talon sat on the edge of the lighthouse’s topmost platform. His feet dangled loosely in the air and he stared out across the sea, watching the sunset. Everything around him had a rose-gold cast. The water of the sea sparkled as though alight with thousands of topaz gems. Clouds hung in the skies like fluffed pillows of cotton, turned purple and pink by the light of the setting sun. He did not know how long he had been sitting there. He had only told his attendants that he was going to find a place to be alone and think for a time. Even with such a vague statement, he knew that the palace staff knew exactly where he was.

He brought a hand to his chest, directly over his heart. There was an ache there that he could not heal. It would be relieved by neither time nor medicine. The past several days had been filled with decisions he wished he never would have been faced with. In an act of desperation, he had split himself in the hopes that the purest piece of his soul might be spared the slow twisting of his thoughts that was occurring. He was not blind to what was happening to him. On the contrary, he was horrifyingly aware of what was being done to him. It was not a sudden or forceful thing and it was hardly something he could make himself consciously aware of. Every now and then however, he could feel a whisper on the edge of his thoughts. So, while he still had enough will and wherewithal to do so, he had given a piece of himself to the Whisperer.

He had severed the parts of himself that may, in the end, be what could save him, what could free him. He hoped that he had chosen right. Only time would tell whether he had made the right choice.

He rubbed at the spot over his heart. It continued to ache. Instinctively he tried to reach for the Bond that he had with his core soulmate. He winced when nothing stirred. There was a crushing silence in his head where once there had always been a warm voice or even voices. The bonds he had formed over his lifetime were all gone. First Rickter, then his father, now his husband. He had sent that part of himself away as well, to keep those still alive safe from the corruption that was spreading through him. He would not risk them being twisted by the whispers of the suit of armor he had been forced into. He would not let them become yet more leverage to be held over him in his gilded prison.

Looking down at his hands, Talon wondered silently if it would be enough. There were still ties here in the Imperium that he had made. There was Asher. The honorable knight with whom he had partnered. Asher was…he was important to him. He did not know what direction their paths would take them but he knew that he had already formed an attachment to the man. How could he not? Outside of the occasional glimpse of the Bond with Aoren, the knight had been his only solace during his time in the tower. Not only that, if the Matchmaker was to be believed, they were to have children soon.

Would he be allowed to see them? Would he be allowed to hold them? Would he be allowed to have the family he had always desperately wanted?

He did not know. He did not want to believe that he would be forced to be an outsider in his own life but that was what it had come down to.

He was lost. He was confused. He felt alone and there was little else he could focus on except the command he had been given. He feared what that would do to him. If he had nothing but the insane tasks of a deranged book filled with calamity to guide him, what would that make of him? Too many questions raced through his head and he had little to calm his nerves in the wake of them.

Talon sighed, running a hand through his hair. He caught the leather strap that he used to tie his hair back and undid the knot. Combing his fingers through his hair, he let it fall loose. Running his fingers through his hair several times he made sure that no knots were present before he set about tying his hair into a braid. It had grown down to his waist since his imprisonment. He did not mind it but it was longer than he had ever let it grow before. He paused when the sound of wingbeats drew his attention away from the setting sun. He expanded his aetheric senses, brushing upon the encroaching presence. Across his Semblance, he felt a strangely familiar presence. It was warm. It was stalwart. It took a moment before he realized that it was Asher. He realized this was the first time he had grasped the man’s aura. He made a mental note to familiarize himself with it. Turning his head back to the sunset, he spoke.

“Were you sent to fetch me?”

[Asher]

His landing was radiant, and bright; opalescent hues exploded around his bladed wings as his boots touched the platform, reflecting the rose-like colors of the sun, Asher gleaming from its distant reflection. Just as quickly as he had landed, his wings folded, compressing until they were like spikes protruding from his back. During that time, his aura would've depicted the residual ether as plasma-like, crawling like a gelatinous fluid towards the area beneath his scapula, until his wide, brilliant wings had folded and became less imposing. The longer they had spent together, the clearer it had become -- perhaps -- that Asher did not like to bear the full breadth of his wings. He had never mentioned it, but it was simply one of those things Talon would eventually glean.

The Knight's features were somewhat flat, but they were also pensive. He withdrew one of his hands into his coat, while the other raised, his elbow pinning against the rail. The man sighed out, that familiar opal-quartz hue seeming to shine from beneath his skin, though it was only clear when sunlight beamed on him with intensity, and only marginally. Nevertheless, he decided to explain it. It was the first time Talon had seen him outside of some cold, dimly-lit prison.

"Within plants, there are these things called... well, the scientists these days call them 'chloroplasts'," he began, seemingly unrelated. "I have them too. All of the little, marginal things that make up my skin have one. I don't burn easily in the light, I can breathe in stale air as if it were fresh and brisk, and I gain energy and vibrance in the light. It's an incredible tool for a soldier -- I've always been able to withstand even the most brutal forced marches imaginable, or I can just... fly, and fly, and fly. Rarely have to take a break during the day. At night, well... things are rougher at night. My body reels when I'm surrounded by too much darkness. It's caused me to panic, flinch -- lose brothers. Lose friends."

Asher smiled, solemnly.

"I don't really know why I'm telling you this," he confessed, gripping the length of the rail within his hand. "I just thought, maybe, I should tell you something about me... since we haven't really had a chance to speak in a month. And... because I lo-- care... about you, Talon," Asher muttered out, his features tensing as his throat constricted. Before long, he fixed himself, straightening out and appearing flatly-pensive once more.

"I'm not here to fetch you. I came because I wanted to see how my companion is feeling, after it all. I don't have any orders to bring you back, though I'm sure you won't be allowed to leave. That's how it is. Sometimes, in this place, there are things that are unspoken but are merely understood -- expected, one might say. Maybe they expect me to watch you, to observe their asset. I don't know."

Asher stepped across the platform, his boots thudding against the somewhat rickety material. He approached the other man, knelt before him, and sat onto his glutes a mere foot away.

"I missed you," he said. "I wasn't allowed to see you, and when I was... well. You weren't yourself. Ser... von Saalfburg and I watched over you, and..."

He trailed off, shaking his head. "I'm rambling," Asher whispered, nodding his head. "You're alone now. I've heard that Ser von Saalfburg is gone. Why?"

[Talon]

T A L O N

He looked up to behold Asher as he took his first few steps after landing. He watched as the man’s wings folded and retracted. The opalescent sheen to them combined with the luminosity of his skin was captivating to behold. Talon had seen a great many wondrous things in his short years. Always the most wondrous were things born from magic. Whether it was Rickter’s transformation into a lycan, Aoren’s flame-kissed body, and now Asher’s luminescent skin that seemed hungry for the light, he would never understand how others could hate magic so much. He had seen many terrors born from it, true but as he let his eyes roam over the slight sheen that touched on Asher’s skin at the edges, he knew without a doubt he had seen far more beauty from it than horror.

“I had noticed that you do not often let your wings expand in full. They are beautiful.” He listened as Asher spoke on the unique property that he possessed. He heard his pride in the strength it gave him. He also heard the touch of regret and shame at the losses it caused him.

“The dark need never be a burden for you again, aijin. Not with me.” Talon brought up a hand. As he brought it up, a soft aura of light began to emanate from his hand, ending at the wrist. It radiated off of his hand like the fire of the sun itself, giving off warmth and radiance. As Asher joined him, he threaded his fingers through the man’s hair on the side of his head. He cupped Asher’s face, the sunlight in his hand continuing to glow softly. Running a thumb across the knight’s cheekbone, Talon let the light flow into the aetheric pathways that he could see webbing their way through Asher’s body. He did not send much but he gave just a drop, enough to give the chloroplasts across the knight’s body enough of a replenishment to be likened to the brightest day with the clearest of skies.

He kept his hand upon Asher’s face, staring bleakly into the man’s hazel eyes. Eventually he let his hand drop.

“I am glad of your presence.” He expression tightened for a moment before it cleared. The ache in his chest throbbed. It became something he was even more aware of when Asher brought up Aoren. Talon resumed braiding his hair, staring down at the snow white strands that had once been a velvet black.

“There was an attempt to free me from the bondage of Imperial service. It happened just yesterday in Wintergatan Circle. It…did not go well.” It had been a disaster if he was being honest. People had been hurt. Chaos had descended upon the circle. The blast of negation magic that had wiped out an entire city block’s worth of power and functionality had been bad.

“The Legion swarmed the area immediately. Among those who attempted to get close to me were many whom I care for deeply. When the opportunity presented itself, I cast them all away from the empire to a place well beyond its borders. I sent Aoren with them.” He did not think he could give words to what the whole debacle had cost him.

“He is gone. Back to Kalzasi. Even if they journey back here to the empire, it will not matter. I am not long for these shores. The emperor has commanded I go south.”

[Asher]

To his praise, the Knight returned nothing but a simple glean, a briefly held smile that faltered as quickly as it rose. It was a sweet compliment, and it made his chest warm, but Asher was poor at receiving compliments and felt a particular angst over his wings. They were so blatantly arcane, and many Knights had found fit to tease them for their luminescent array of bright colors, and the way his skin sheened in the light. He had been compared to stained glass as a youth, and tormented in other ways for his distinction. For a Kathar, it was difficult not to immediately fit in; not to almost mimic the unit one surrounded themselves with. The changes magic had brought him made him different -- he stuck out like a poorly hammered nail, and his peers hadn't always liked that. They liked it even less when important men -- men like Talon -- praised him for the thing that made him the other.

This time, though, it was different. His smile faded, but he did not feel shame. He felt proud, and prouder when Talon received his gifts with affection, displacing much of the embarrassment he'd garnered over time. Years of ridicule had accumulated, but it only took a single compliment from the man he truly admired to make his heart lighten, and to rewire the cords that bundled in his mind. There were some things only a lover could do -- he understood that, now. Lately, Asher had learned a lot about the significance of love.

All the more when Talon infused him with his light. Warmth rolled over him; it felt like a wet cloud pouring down on a parched land, life rekindling within him, a thousand flowers blooming. He felt vibrant, and full, but most of all at peace. Knowing Talon could bring out his greatest, that he was symbiotic to him, it felt... sacred in an inexplicable way. He'd known Talon was a Divine, but now was the first time Asher had really viewed him in that light. He was still his lover, and still a man, but he was also something more. He was curious of that, but also, at ease in his presence. Here was a man who could guide him to the light, who could protect him, who could innervate him and make him strong. Asher basked in that for a while, leaning into him with his eyes shut, breathing evenly in-and-out.

"I have heard," he whispered, as his lover described it all. Asher knew a great deal of what went on within Gel'grandal; he would not have been a very good guard to the Emperor if he were ill-informed. What he wanted to hear was Talon's version of it all -- it was increasingly the version he tended to trust. Heroically, it appeared that the man had isolated himself in order to protect others, which only what Asher had expected. He wondered, thinking on it, what might have happened if he had been there. Would he, too, have been cast away to another land? What a strange outcome that would have been.

"...and I have heard of your departure, as well. I... want to go with you. That is another reason why I am here, I suppose. I worried that, perhaps, they would find your presence within the city a risk, and they would send you off before I'd be given the chance to come and see you. In truth... I have struggled much while I've been away. I... think about you, a lot, all of the little details that separate you from the dull men that surround me. I linger on you, and I smile, and I miss you. I do not want to endure that forever, in case you do not come back."

He exhaled, hard, before lifting his face. Asher pressed his forehead against the other man's, the bridges of their noses in contact, his eyes still shut. His chest quietly rose and fell.

"I wanted to know if you will try to ask them -- the Emperor, or whoever it is you speak to -- whether I might come along. I have been thinking a great deal on things, and I really think I'd go mad otherwise. Aoren's wormed into my head, like he used to. He's made me think about freedom, and what I want, and what the Empire has imbued into my identity. I've been sneaking away books from the library in the Spire, thinking, and reading... and wondering, and I thought -- maybe you and I could Bond. Maybe I can really be your partner. Maybe I can live a life that I actually want," he said, his heartbeat now pounding in his chest, lips curling as his brows tensed. It all felt like heresy, but it was feasible. Talon did all of that and yet was not being hunted, or detained. They clearly wanted his favor.

Maybe that meant that Asher could have a life, too, where the chains were just a scant looser. Even that would be something worth knowing.

"If I have not made it clear... I am always thinking of you, Talon. I care about you more than I ever have anyone. Our mating might have only been duty, but it has become more than that, to me. I belong to you, aijin. Me, and the family we have already begun."

[Talon]

T A L O N

He did not miss the tremor of shame that passed through Asher at the compliment. It was quickly overshadowed by feeling of pride that wound themselves into his core. Talon had to wonder if the man had been somehow abused because of his wings or his appearance. It was not a thought he wanted to dwell on so he let it pass. He would simply have to assure Asher of how beautiful he found him to be. He would not flood the man with too much praise however, it was clear that compliments made him uncomfortable. So he settled for simply giving the man a caress of the cheek.

“I may take whomever and whatever I wish. I answer to the Emperor and the Emperor alone. What I require, I have but to ask.” As he was pulled into the gentle nuzzle from Asher, he listened to the words that the man spoke. Across his aura, Talon could sense his feelings as he spoke them. He could feel them. It was a pale shadow of what the Bond could provide but it was a mooring in troubled waters that helped him focus. He felt incredible fragile, as though the slightest breeze might shatter what little composure he had left. He had only been returned to himself for a few days and had barely any time to process or sort through what he had experienced. Talon tilted his head back and pressed a kiss to Asher’s brow. He lingered there, closing his eyes and allowing the swell of the man’s emotions to wash over him.

And then he asked.

Talon’s eyes flew open. He drew back as the words settled upon him. He brought his hands up to Asher’s shoulders and stared at him. His mouth fell open in a silent gasp. The ache in his chest and the deafening silence in his head became oppressive. It became gnawing. Talon felt it building. He felt it tumbling out of his control. His emotions were bearing down on him with crushing clarity.

The grief of Savien’s death, a mourning he never got the chance to process.

The agony of being chained, carved, tortured and bound for months on end.

The agonized screaming of the man he loved as the empire broadcasted his suffering until he was broken.

The utter horror and despair that had filled him as the archbishop stabbed the Spike of Argis into his heart and ripped away his free will, his ability to think, his ability to feel or be anything close to himself.

The paralyzing fear and weight of having been forced to complete and don a suit of armor that was as much his cage as it was his protection.

The bitter grief of having to separate himself from people he loved in order to protect them.

The staggering pain of separating himself from himself in order to spare the purest part of his mind, heart and soul and the Bonds he had with others.

It all came crashing down on him.

He was alone. Trapped in a cage he could not take off in the silence of his own mind and soul. Unable to free himself. Unable to escape the silence because, for the sake of those he was bonded to, he had severed that part of himself to protect them.

A broken sob filled air. It sounded pitiful. The whimper of an utterly weary and beaten soul. Dimly he wondered who it was coming from until his vision blurred and he realized the sobbing was coming from him. He could not contain it.

“It’s gone.” He sobbed. “My Hope is gone.”

What had he done with it? Where had it gone?

“I cannot, Asher.” How pathetic he must have looked as tears streamed down his face. “It is gone. They took it from me. They took everything from me.”

His words made no sense to his own ears but he could not muster the composure to find any sense to give. He was alone. And he was terrified. He had been trying to find the Light in this bleak situation. He had been trying to find the strength to continue holding on to himself. With every day he wondered how much of himself was being changed and whether or not he would even remember enough of himself to realize he was changing.

His chest ached but unlike so many times throughout his life when pain had threatened to swallow him, there was no responding caress of thoughts or warmth of a telepathic embrace.

There was only the pain and the silence of his prison.

[Asher]

The Knight merely sat, for a while, quiet with his legs folded, eyes trained on the other while he listened. His features were neutral at first, though not for long. Few Kathar really understood complex emotion -- it was not their strong suit -- but Asher had always been more observant than most of his brothers, and more intrigued by the human condition. At first, that tool only meant that he could more effectively report on the wellbeing of his unit, sending those Kathar who were faltering down the pipeline of reeducation. Nevertheless, the signs he had seen in them and the signs he was witnessing in Talon right now were very similar. It was the burden of pain, of war, of grief that had not properly been processed; some of it, he thought, might never be. It brought pain to his heart, seeing Talon of all people like this, and knowing that he could do little, or even nothing. There was nothing in the world he could do that would override all of the things his aijin had suffered. He was only one soul, barely on course, without the answers and without the authority to bring about any kind of change.

Talon was still separated from Aoren, from what remained of his family; he was still imprisoned and controlled. Asher could not change that. He was a quantity allowed only by the Emperor's good will, and both of them knew somewhere that he -- too -- had no security in his position in Talon's life. Everything was so bleak.

Asher did not really know how the bond worked. Nevertheless, he assumed that Talon could not perform it, whether because he had lost the ability to or because his 'hope' had become too broken. He wondered if it worked that way -- if that tether was enabled by wellness; if a shattered man could not form that connection. He wondered if he would have been able to form it himself, given those conditions. He'd never tried, and he'd never felt it as any sort of force, despite the fact that he was born to it. He tried to tap into his mind, channeling it forth almost like something arcane, but he found himself devoid of whatever it was that defined an Avialae's inner longing.

The Knight stood. It was counter-intuitive, perhaps, to move away from the man who needed his consolement the most, but he did. He stood, and turned to face his back towards the other, leaning into the rail as he stared out towards the setting sun. His hair blew lightly in the wind.

"It's always a strange, unsettling thing, when the people who are most resilient crumble at the horrors of life. It reminds you how gruesome things really can be -- how transient joy is, how dreadful suffering. If this world can break you, Talon, it can break anyone. That's terrifying."

He turned to face the other man for a moment, eyeing him with a sympathetic smile.

"I won't argue that they haven't shattered you, but you have the pieces to reforge yourself. Your 'hope' is not gone. It was there, in you, when you told me I would always have the light with you, and when you flooded me with that... feeling I've never had before. When you claimed, with utter certainty, that you could and would bring me along to the south, that no one would stop you. That is hope, Talon. Hope that we might guide some semblance of our lives together -- hope that we might remain side-by-side. There is even some hope in you, I know, that we might have the opportunity to raise our family: that the Empire won't simply pluck them away. You falter, but you still imagine a better life. The Emperor has not taken all from you."

Asher steeled himself, preparing his mind to release a heavy burden; the most difficult, grating, unbelievable words he might ever utter. Words he had ruminated on, now, for days and weeks.

"We still have a chance, Talon. For every single thing, we will have to fight, but we aren't destined to lose. I... will help you leave the Empire. I am powerless to do so now, but I won't be forever. You make me strong, my soul. For you, and for our sons, I will persevere." Swinging his body around, the Knight walked past his lover, opening the creaky old door to the lighthouse, peeking inside to see the simple ornaments and decorations that lined the uppermost, circular room, a large bed lying in its corner. Turning back around, the soldier flashed a small, thoughtful smile, reaching for his lover's shoulder, squeezing it within a tight grip.

"I've been wanting a night alone with you, Talon, since we met. No eyes on us. Why don't we have that now? We can lie down, and talk about all of the things on your mind. We can make little, loose plans for the things we will do when we leave this place, and I can remind you of the good things -- like that Aoren's alive, and no longer imprisoned, and that you have a man, in me, that is willing to pay any price to keep you from pain. Maybe we can't bond, but we can still love each other, Talon. And I... I love you. I am certain of that."

[Talon]

T A L O N

He did not know what to say in response to Asher’s words. His own emotions were a confusing mess to himself at the moment. For several days he had been struggling to process much of what he had been through. He did not believe he would be able to for quite some time. Asher brought him a measure of comfort however. He let the warmth of the man’s emotions flow over him through his Semblance. It was a pale shadow of what he could have experienced through the Bond but that was out of his reach at the moment. He still could not stop the tears from flowing but he did manage to take a deep breath and shrug off some of the weight on his shoulders. He leaned into the touch that Asher offered.

“You are right. Aoren is alive. He is free from his prison. Even if I cannot follow him right now, we will be reunited again some day. We will soon have a family that I must be strong for.” He still felt miserable but he would take this opportunity to share his thoughts and feelings. Voicing them was far more difficult than he would have ever thought after having spent a lifetime of simply being able to share his thoughts and be understood. It was baffling to him but it was also humbling. It made him realize how precious a gift being able to share the Bond truly was. He stood up, a little unsteady on his feet before joining Asher inside the comely room within the lighthouse. It was a bit cramped for men of their size but he found he did not mind the closeness of it. While he was not in anything remotely resembling a mood to perform sexually, he was in need of the comfort of simply being in the intimate presence of someone he cared for.

Talon pressed a hand to his chest. He pushed through the fog in his head for a moment in order to center his thoughts. The gleaming platinum and gold armor on his body shifted. The armor plating softened to become a tailored white shirt and grey pants. His boots melted away into his pants leaving him barefoot. He looked to Asher, explaining the display both for the knight and himself.

“I cannot remove it. The armor. I can, however, reshape it. I am still learning its forms but I am getting the hang of it.” He shrugged his broad shoulders then seated himself on the edge of the bed.

“It…it is changing me. That is its purpose. To bind me to the empire and to become a weapon for the emperor to use as he pleases. I do not know how long it will take but there will come a time when I am not quite the man you first met.” He gave Asher a sardonic smile. “I may even forget that I am a prisoner.”

Talon shook his head. He reached out to the knight urging him to come close. The physical contact helped him not feel so overwhelmed.

“I am mostly myself now, Asher. For now. But you must be careful.” He brought his hands up to cup the man’s face. “Do not trust me. Not completely. Not until I am free. If you act, you must do so without my knowledge for there may come a time when I see you as a traitor.”

He pressed their brows together.

“Do not ask me to help you. I may sabotage you against my will.” He looked into Asher’s eyes. “If you mean to save me and our family, truly, then it means you very well may be turning your back on the empire.”

He studied the knight’s face.

“I will not ask it of you. This is a path you must walk of your own free will. No matter your choice, I...I still want you by my side.”

[Asher]

The Knight's brow lifted as Aoren's armor shifted, seemingly becoming a viscous liquid for a moment as it reshaped into fabric. He had never heard of such a malleable armor, but the Empire had surely poured their resources into it, and Talon was clearly skilled in his craft. He did not linger on the technical details of the plate for long, following his lover near the edge of the bed, seating himself beside him. For a time, he quietly listened, fluctuating between tossing Talon's profile a glance and staring out towards the decorations along the walls of the room; the anchor, the wheel, the old paintings hung by thin rope.

Nothing Talon said was particularly surprising to him -- his Handler had briefed him a little, Aoren had made his own hypothesis, and Asher guessed by applying what he already knew of the Empire. There was nothing they enjoyed more than turning enemies or liabilities into assets, and stripping the power away from other lands to take for their own. Talon's power was not only in his blood, but in his bones, his shape and form. He could provide them his lineage, but that did not mean they would simply discard him once that was done.

They were grooming him, a process they applied innumerable strategies towards; give and take, punishment and pleasure, fear, guilt, and now an arcane box he was confined to, one that would slowly override his mind. He could only admire the efficacy of their tactics -- his Empire was a ruthless one, but it had achieved such prominence for a reason. There was no line they were unwilling to cross. Honor, truth and goodness were all second or third to sheer, overwhelming power and its acquisition.

Asher followed his lover's directive, moving nearer to him. He wrapped his arm around the Draegir's shoulder, smiling solemnly as the man cupped his face. He nodded, keeping their eyes together, their features bound in a mutual reflection.

"I will not tell you," he replied, the Knight's eyes darting back-and-forth, slowly. He was processing everything in his mind; he would have to plot, and scheme, alone. He would have no resources or connections, save for a man that could likely butcher him if he discovered his loyalty: Talon himself. Asher was one of the strongest Kathar in the Legion, but strength alone wouldn't be enough. The Empire had far more than him, and far greater information.

It was tempting to just ignore his moral center, contentedly allowing Talon to fall into their grasp; that way, he could serve as his lover and companion within the grips of an Empire he already knew as home, changing and risking little, and perhaps still living more freely than before. He wondered if morality was worth risking everything, not only for himself, but for his lover. It was possible that Talon would spend the rest of his days lonesome if Asher was declared a traitor and executed. Their children would never know him, and none of them would ever know peace.

No matter your choice, Talon assured him. He nodded, quietly, breathing out. He was overwhelmed; he felt himself sinking, being buried in a pit. Asher's face became sullen, his eyes narrowing as his brow became tense, tortured. He had never had the opportunity to make a choice, before. Battlefield judgment, perhaps, but never a moral decision. Morality had always been chosen for him. If he was directed to slaughter even children in the wake of a conquest, he would have done so without reservation. The implications of it all merely bounced from his plated shell.

"We will have freedom, in the coming days, to be alone. To be lovers. I cannot say what -- between these terrifying options -- is right, but I have chosen to be your aijin beyond what duty asks. I am not just your Imperially-designated mate, anymore, and I will never only be that. Whatever happens... I will be there for you. I will support you. To what extent I can, I will protect you. You are my loyalty, Talon. Not the Empire. I will make my choices based on that."

It was an inconclusive answer, but a meaningful one. He spoke the truth. Asher had to ponder a million outcomes before he could decide; he had to know what their lives might approximate. He had to see whether they would be given the opportunity to know their sons. Only when he knew what each outcome might present could he choose.

[Talon]

T A L O N

Relief passed through him as Asher agreed to keep him in the dark about his motives. If Asher never told him, he would never be able to form the concrete thought. He was also pleased to hear the inconclusive answer that the knight gave. It left room for interpretation and he would not press the man for more. For both their sakes, this was a subject that was best navigated with extreme caution.

“There are Dawnmartyrs here in Gel’Grandal. If you can, seek them out. They might be able to offer you help.” He could sense them on the edges of his thoughts. At least, the ones who carried the mark of Eminence. Their presence was slightly obscured to him and even when he concentrated he only got the vaguest idea of their general proximity. He could glean only that they were in the city. He suspected his other half was working to obscure their presence, a smart move and one that he was glad was being taken.

“We must never speak of these things again, aijin. You must also hide some of your true emotions from me. I do not think that will be difficult for you but I am a Master of Semblance. I cannot read your thoughts but people’s emotions give them away just as easily as their thoughts do.” Part of him wished he had possessed the foresight to divest himself of his magic when Lyrielle had made her offer but that would have aroused far too much suspicion. No, he was glad he had chosen to keep his magic for he would need it in the days ahead. There was something that his other self could acquire that would yet serve them both well. He wiped his eyes. The tears had finally stopped flowing. He still felt brittle. It felt as though a passing breeze would be enough to shatter his fragile state. He hated that he was placing the weight of so many burdens upon Asher’s shoulders.

He hated that Aoren and Rickter and the others were so far away but he had done what needed to be done. He was a danger to them. He was enough of himself to know that. He wondered how long it would be before his view of them would shift. A slight shudder went through him. He did not linger on that thought.

“I am to leave at the turn of the season. The destination is to the Kingdom of Solunarium in Ecith. My task is to stop a terrible calamity from unfolding. Have you ever been to Ecith?” It was an abrupt change of topic but it was for the best. They could not speak any more on what was happening or on Asher’s true motives. To do so too much was to open themselves up to failure or worse. So he turned the topic to the task at hand. He would be leaving for Ecith at the turn of the season and from there? Time would tell.

[Asher]

As Talon advised, the Knight jotted down his words like notes of advisement within his mind, his eyes flickering up towards the ceiling as he pondered his course of action, and the ways in which he might avoid detection or lethal peril. It was all too much to consider right now, though, all at once. For that reason, he shuffled away little more than the warning, and the word Dawnmartyr as he scooted closer to the other man, laying a large hand on Talon's inner thigh. It was clear that he could not simply make himself chipper, or jovial, so Talon was simply given the face that he had: a confused, perturbed, pensive mess. He looked like a man who'd just burnt down his family home by mistake, seeking forgiveness from the other. Asher didn't feel guilty, but he certainly felt surrounded on all sides. He would need to learn to suppress those loathsome emotions of his in the future, but for now, he bore them as they came.

"No," he quietly answered. "The Imperium, Sangen, Atinaw, Dalquia and Zythura. Our border states. Those are the only lands I have seen, many of which I have not explored for very long. Going somewhere so far is... exciting, and somewhat threatening, but I would like to go."

Unlike much of what Talon had revealed to him in their conversation, their destination was a surprise. He had only ever heard stories and rumors, and imagined the Empire had little business in Ecith. He could only wonder what they intended to do there, and how he and Talon might play part in it. Asher seemed to calm, his mind drifting towards ridiculous scenes: the two of them strolling along a sandy shore, tall palms at their flank. He imagined himself examining a seashell, and feeling the coastal breeze as it flowed through his hair.

Asher smiled, briefly.

"Turn of the season," he whispered. He wondered what sort of men they would both be, by then. It had been thirty two days since they'd met, and already he had changed much. He could only imagine the way Talon's mind would twist and contort beneath the influence of the armor, and what that would do to him. Nevertheless, Asher decided he would try to live gleefully, being able to have his beloved at his side. Despite it all, there was little else in the world worth more than that.

"I can't wait, my heart." Asher wrapped his arms around Talon's back, bringing their broad chests together. He sunk his face into the crook between his jaw and his shoulder, kissing gently along the other man's taut, muscular skin. Asher had already made the one choice that mattered, and knowing that, he wasn't so afraid of what was to come. The Knight removed his coat, lifting his shirt above his head afterwards and tossing it to the ground. "Let's go to bed. I don't want to think about all of this, anymore. I just want you."