Just Mossin' Around II [Æros]

[Hilana Chenzira]

23 Ash, Year 122

[Closed - Æros]
Part I

The idea of playing around with the yields of the different plants was fascinating, and Hilana considered it. She knew enough from botany and ecology that she would surely want to supplement the plant itself in order to have the best success in that regard. It would need extra nurturing, surely, so either playing with the soil or more nutrients for it so that it could support the yield... still... she would have to play around with it, and hopefully not hurt anything while she was at it. But he was right - the possibilities were endless, she would just have to see what could be done and how.

But when Æros refused to meet her gaze, looking away, she was concerned that she had offended him, or upset him, though his words seemed to indicate otherwise. She didn’t push him, letting him take his time to take in what she had said. Hilana knew it had been a risk when she ran her mouth that way; sometimes people weren’t ready to hear it, or they didn’t necessarily want to hear it, and certainly not from someone like her. It wouldn’t have been the first time that she upset a friend that way; she’d done it mere weeks ago with Khyan. This was even riskier because where she had been in relative safety speaking to former Patrician, this Dominus had status and plenty to ruin her life for giving offense if he was so inclined.

As he spoke about what he had experienced barely just the other day, Hilana reached for one of his large hands again and held it in both of hers to provide silent support and reassurance for him. This was a lot to digest. From his recounting, Hilana had a feeling that the Faerie was traumatized, and she found the union pressure point in the webbing between thumb and forefinger of the hand that she was holding, and began to apply gentle pressure to it, massaging slowly with her own fingers to provide a relief point for the stress and anxiety that he was experiencing, all the while trying to encourage him without words.

Her mind worked through what he told her, and Hilana considered, picking it apart. No. That wasn’t going to be so. If they’d completely given up in him, then there was no reason that they wouldn’t have told him to just end his life there in the Templum. No. This was surely a test. A stark one, but a warning. “Some things can be broken beyond repair, yes. You are not one of them,” the girl told him. “No. I will not accept that, and neither will you,” the Vastiana shook her head, making her mishmash of earrings catch and reflect the light within the greenhouse. “No. You are not broken beyond repair. We are going to pick up the pieces, and put them together again. No matter what we have to use to put you back together. I did it, and you will do it. It is hard, and it will hurt. It will hurt a great deal, because you will have to face your feelings, and feel them. All of them. But you won’t do it alone. I will be here. And so will Khyan.” She released his hand, then, and her long arms went around him, pulling him into a hug to try to press as much comfort into him as she could.

Hilana knew that that was even more wildly inappropriate than the blasphemy that she had uttered earlier, but she had a feeling he might need it. That eerie calmness worried her, making her wonder if he had done something to rein himself in. She was no Mesmer nor Sembler to know, or understand just what Æros had done to calm himself, but she didn’t like it. “The wheel always turns,” she told him as she looked up at him from where she was doing her best to squish him. “Just because you feel that you are at the very bottom of it... the wheel will turn. It always does. It is always moving, sometimes faster, sometimes slower, but the wheel of fortune and fate always moves. No. You are going to heal, and you are going to grow beyond this fascination everyone else has for your blood. I see you. You are stronger than you think you are. You do not feel it right now, and you do not see it right now, but they do not define you. If She of the Bonds and Binding felt you were useless, you would not be here, Dominus. She would have told you to cut your throat then and end it. And She didn’t. This means there’s still opportunities for redemption. The only thing bigger than a setback... is the comeback.” Her long arms tightened in a final squeeze before letting him go and finding his hands again. “No. You are going to come back from this. Prayers and sacrifices, and improvement of your self and skills. Magic is a divine gift. Your practicing and improving in it, and acquiring more Runes, is practicing our religion. No. I am certain that They feel you can do so much more than you have, but She was harsh because She felt She had to be. My guardians were always hard if they felt I was slacking and they were disappointed. The Domina surely feels the same way. You are getting back on your path, and it starts today. Lessons can be ruthless... but not learning and staying stagnant is even worse.”

She nodded as he said that blood was powerful. “Blood, life. Things that are lost... life is probably more permanent, but a good bloodshed is viable. But next time I go on a hunt, I will bring you along. I usually go at night, or once the sun sets, so you shouldn’t have any problems with the sun and the heat then,” Hilana added. “We just have to have no expectations of what is to come, and prove our usefulness and ourselves to Them and to our community... just as you can by getting involved in the Senate. You could help improve the lives of many, you know. That is vitally important. That is valuable. Don’t ever forget that. Sure, the Senate is a nest of vipers... but you’ve got a ready mind, I think, and with your Uncle to help you learn the ropes and guide and advise you, you will surely thrive there. You were able to talk me around, and do you know how long everyone else in my life has been trying?” Hilana smiled at him. “Over a decade. And you did that.”

She nodded as he spoke of Khyan, and at the same time... already started to downplay his abilities. “Five good things about yourself a day. Every morning. Because when we speak poorly to ourselves, the warrior within hears it and is lessened. Don’t,” she squeezed his hand again, still holding onto it. “It just takes time and the drive to do it. You have that. You can do it, Dominus. I know you can. Between the two of you, I think you will do very well. Especially if he’s with you full time soon.”

“That could very well be,” Hilana was thoughtful. He had no reason to be sheepish, it was certainly far more than she knew on the subject. But she would get whatever books were recommended to her, and she would study. And she would study hard. “I don’t think my mother’s tribe did, but on the other hand... when you’re part of a group like that, you can’t always go off like that to such places. Everyone in the tribe has responsibilities that they need to take care of, But we will have to ask your cousin when the time for such things comes. But we’ll find out... no matter what it takes. But however the bones fall, any and all are good. All of them are in a cycle, none above or below the next. Balanced, equal... necessary. ‘Air above us, earth below us, water surrounds us, fire within us, spirit becomes us,’” she echoed her maternal grandmother’s words from years ago.

“I can’t say I’ve really worried about love. I’ve fallen for people and others have fallen for me, but it was never meant to be anything permanent and we all knew it. It comes and goes as it will, but what’s meant to be will find its way to us. Just like the two of you,” she smiled up at him. Æros seemed to be truly devoted to Khyan, and that made Hilana feel warm and glowing inside. Because to hear him say it... her friend felt the same way. There wasn’t enough joy in such a harsh world. The more there was between two that desperately needed it, the better.

“The general one is more of a blood cleanser. It purifies toxins and venom in the bloodstream. It does work a bit slower but it’s been effective nonetheless. We’ve also used it for scorpion stings and spider bites, not just snake bites, so it’s been useful there. He’d probably do it at your behest, but in any event, when we’re done here, we’ll drop by the shop again and I will get you a bottle,” Hilana was cheerful, leading Æros away from the gooseberries, this time going on another turn and down another couple of aisles. He would likely recognize a rather massive snake plant sitting in a heavy clay pot. The unnaturally large Moonstone that she had mentioned early on. “This is the leviathan I overgrew,” she told him with a smile, touching one of the enormous, pale-green leaves. Her comments about its size didn’t do it justice, because the plant, grown off a fallen leaf of the plant that had been so small in the shop, was even bigger than the Vastiana was, and its fronds were substantial. Something had to be said for whatever it was that was in Ecithian soil, after all...

[Aeros]

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It was a foreign thing to Æros to have somebody actually show him consistent sympathy. In the past, if he were to complain, vent his emotions, speak of his struggles or anything similar, he would be nearly immediately chastised for it. If not that, it would become apparent that either the other person didn't care one way or the other or that they simply were unable to assist. This, generally, is why he avoided ever doing so, but with the way this conversation had flowed, it was genuinely difficult for him not to.

Hilana was as curious as he was. She was open if he asked questions and then followed up with her own about him. It was just easy to share with her. And that having already been established, he neglected his usual defenses and somehow allowed himself to speak freely about what had just happened.

The starborn Fæ was used to people seeing no value in him as a person his entire life, and while he had grown numb to it, for the most part, having that sentiment reinforced by the very gods he worshiped was…certainly not ideal. At first, he was a bit shell-shocked to the effects. He was numb to the sentiment, as he was when it was reiterated to him by anyone else. The sharpness of Her words was not actually felt until Hilana, ignorant of this, pulled free the Goddess' blade and he hemorrhaged.

Unfortunately, this sudden onslaught of emotional turmoil was realized in the company of another person. The entire situation was one of deep shame and embarrassment for him; ultimately, he blamed himself for the whole thing. He should've never gone along with the stranger that'd saved him in Tertium. If it was fate's design that he live, he should've known better than to involve himself with somebody so blatantly otherworldly. To expect such a thing to have gone favorably on his end was markedly ridiculous of him given where he was in life.

To Hilana's virtue, she very stubbornly refused to accept the man's whining; defiant as was her nature, she further encouraged him to rise to the challenge as opposed to languishing in his self loathing. His response to her simply touching him was minimal, though he did take some small comfort in the sentiment thereof. It felt so nice to be cared for, to have somebody on his side when he'd felt so alone his entire life. The challenge here, however, was that she was one voice drowned in a sea of thousands saying the opposite.

Æros had already plucked at the melodies of his own Symphony before he'd given Hilana a chance to respond; further displays of emotion terrified him. In front of anyone, really. And yet, her words did reach him despite his attempts to silence his heart. All of this hurt to think about to an overwhelming degree. He felt pulled in so many directions, unable to decide on which path to take. On one hand, he really did want to give up– but that would be an end, a finality. On the other, there were so many different options if he kept on moving one way or another.

It was a surprise when she'd hugged him; physical affection outside of that between him and lovers was a rarity. His breath caught in his chest and for a moment, he froze as if he didn't quite know how to react in this scenario. In truth, he didn't– not at all. After a moment's hesitation, he breathed out and returned her embrace. The grip of his own arms was weak in part because he knew his own strength and the girl was still nursing injuries, but there was also the fact that he just felt so very defeated.

The Færie sighs, "I do hope that one day I'll have your drive, or even just a drop of that lust for life you have. It just feels like everything I ever do amounts to…nothing. That anything short of perfection is simply not good enough. On one hand, I do want to do better for myself, but on the other? It just feels so pointless. That I'll go nowhere no matter what, that I'll be stuck treading water until my limbs give out." The cast of his Mesmer prevented him from breaking entirely, but there was a deep sadness in his voice regardless.

This conversation hurt to have, but there was at least some solace to be taken in the fact that his friend had put in so much effort to try and shift his mind. He was not sure if his mind would ever change, if he'd ever find truly intrinsic motivation, but he supposed there was little more he could lose. To fall any further meant death by another or his own hand, so for now, there was no real harm in trying to move forward, was there?

As she spoke of fate, of the fact that he was still alive, Hilana did have a point. She always did, it’s more that some were easier for his irrational mind to dismiss than others. “I suppose you’re right…if I were truly worthless, She would have killed me, wouldn’t She?” Æros took a deep breath but didn’t move. “If fate wanted me dead, there have been ample opportunities for my thread to sever and yet I still draw breath…I suppose I should stop resisting then, huh? Spending all this time wishing to die yet failing to do so at every turn.” He almost laughed, though his voice still rang with a weighty sort of sorrow.

Regarding the value of blood, Æros parroted what he had been taught, what he had gleaned from his own experience. He knew his blood in and of itself had value to it. For a while, that value is what he had been relying on as the sole bit of ego he had left. Now, even that was but a cold comfort– that being the case, the man now possessed a clean foundation from which to build himself up again. Maybe it would take some time for him to realize it rightly, but given how his life has gone thus far? That was actually a blessing.

When Hilana responded, he listened to everything the other said with a sincere sort of interest. The comment she made regarding him having a ‘ready’ mind made the man smile somewhat bashful, knowing that could be true, though it wasn’t for reasons she didn’t know about. The Færie couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d spent a full day sober…but now wasn’t the right time to admit that, was it?

“Really? Others besides your father have tried to sway you and not succeeded?” Æros was honestly surprised to hear this. “The funny thing is I didn’t use Mesmer on you beyond the smallest amount to keep you calm…but I wanted you to make the choice for yourself so I didn’t meddle beyond that.” He sounded better here, as if warmed by the sentiment.

Again, the elf sighed and shook his head. “Does that really work? I suppose it might, what with how easy it is to convince oneself of negatives…” his words trailed off in consideration, as uncomfortable as saying things aloud in his own favor made him for the moment. “...but yes. Last time he and I were together, I agreed and sent an inquiry to his current master of my interest. I can only hope I’ll hear back from him soon. And if my interest is accepted, planning transactions usually goes quickly.” This much was true– when money was involved, people moved.

When it came to aligning oneself with lesser known elements, it’s never a surprise when one admits that one hasn't heard of the concept. “To be fair, this isn’t a widely known concept, really. The only reason I know about it is because I went to a fairly advanced school. Granted, I could probably ask more experienced Elementalists and see if they know anything about how to actually facilitate such a thing. They’ll know at least everything I do and more. You could probably ask Palæmon? Or…I could, next time I see him.” The concept of moving from the material plane to an elemental one was not something he’d really given much personal thought as yet, and so when he spoke of it, he spoke of it with great curiosity.

“Regardless, you might end up finding that one of the primary four speaks to you more than anything else. I’m confident Palæ knows about the other options and yet he still chose water– because you’re right, they’re all equal in the cycle.” The elf spoke with admiration for the rune and the elements; he did want it himself eventually, but he really ought to develop his Masquerade and then Semblance once he gets it before trying to gain more.

The subject of love was an odd one for Æros. He held affections for a couple of those within his family that had shown him kindness, but having always been isolated by his mother, he didn’t really feel quite close with any of them. He didn’t really feel proper close with anyone. For as ardent as the fire he had for Khyan burned, it was a blaze that had sparked to life only recently. On top of that, such emotions were not things he was at all used to in general– he was having trouble processing exactly what he felt and what it meant. To that, he held a great fondness for Hilana, too. And while that was altogether a different type of affection, it was equally foreign. In the past, he’d not have opened himself up like this to anybody and he didn’t really understand what it was that made this different. All the same, it wasn’t as if he was at all willing to sacrifice either of these fledgling bonds. He needed them for his own stability at this point.

Æros bit the inside of his lip and golden eyes narrowed in consideration at the subject. “I’ve not really thought about it either. I always thought it was pointless; mother kept me isolated and controlled when I was young, but then once I slipped away? I spent that entire time planning my own death, so I refused to connect with people to…any degree of depth.” Then, he grimaced, but it shifted into something of an actual, affectionate smile. “Khyan and I…we’re…a fluke? An accident? He was a boy I picked up from a bar like I did, um…any other night…and then the way our magics mingled was enough to spark my interest, he as a person enough to keep it.” The way his brow furrowed and the confused shift in his voice would indicate that the starborn was genuinely perplexed by this series of events.

“...but given that, your point stands. It shows up on its own.” He certainly wasn’t searching for anything out of the norm that night, in truth. “I’m…not sure what that will yield for you, though, given that there’s a bit of a time limit? So I do wish you luck in that regard; I’d help but I’m not sure if that’s even possible,” he laughed.

Regarding antivenin, “if it works on most things like that, I suppose it’ll just be useful to have around on the off chance I ever get bitten by anything else. I don’t think one specialized for the asp’s venom would work well on other things, would it?” He had no idea whether that was true or not, but he imagined that wouldn’t be the case.

As they continued to walk, Æros felt a lot better than before. The impact of simple encouragement was far more profound than he would’ve ever imagined– and as such, he felt incredibly grateful towards Hilana for believing in him the way that she did. As they progressed through the greenhouse, the starborn clapped eyes on the Moonstone plant of a truly unholy size. He imagined this was the plant that she’d brought him here to see before she even spoke.

He’d seen drawings of Ecithian plants and the like, he’d even seen Masquerade mages create illusory versions thereof. That…simply wasn’t the same as seeing something solid in front of his eyes like this. Stepping forward, Æros took one of the leaves in his hands and found it fascinating how thick the plant fibres were compared to anything of a more appropriate size. While he was still taller than it, it really was massive compared to the little tiny ones he’d seen in the shop itself.

“I wonder why we’ve not bothered to try and make use of whatever fascinating properties the Ecithian soil has if it can do this,” he spoke with a small chuckle at the end.

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'Thoughts'

"Vallenor Tongue/Speech"

"Vastien Tongue/Speech"

"Valasren Tongue/Speech"

"Common Tongue/Speech"

[Hilana Chenzira]

Hilana understood how it felt not to feel supported. As a child, she had had the children and older boys, the young men who looked after the herds and formed a makeshift family. She was as wild and rough and tumble as the rest of them, and decorum and propriety as expected of an Equestrian girl was completely forgotten. She didn’t lack manners; but those she was taught were taught to her by the boys who came from nomadic families or plebians who worked tirelessly. There, she had support. She had the encouragement, the camaraderie, and a strong sense of family. She had expectations and rules, and discipline aplenty if she misbehaved. The life they picked was not an easy one, but for her, it was fulfilling. But the times she had to return to Tertium for one reason or another...

All of that was gone. One would think that amongst your own blood kin, there would be support and encouragement, everything that she got in the sands of the Expanse. And it wasn’t there. There was no denying it; and its lack made Hilana hate leaving her pack. Family wasn’t always blood, Asher had told her. Family can be what you make it. And their pack was what they made. Hilana had always been an affectionate girl, and most of them hadn’t cared or had gotten used to getting pounced on by her, because a hug could turn into a wrestling match, but in any event... she knew the pain of being alone. In Tertium, she had gotten used to it - being alone despite a sea of people there, her respite being her great-aunt. Most of her long-time friends and found family she rarely, if ever saw, and she was certainly not allowed to interact with them the way she had gotten used to.

With all that in mind, Hilana was just trying to make up that support for Æros. He had little support, he had been dealt a vicious blow by their Matron Goddess, and he felt very adrift without even a paddle, much less a rudder, to fix it. And if there was one thing the girl knew, it was that she didn’t stop moving. Sure, there were times when peace and stillness were nice, but that was water. Just because it was calm up at the surface didn’t mean that the currents were not moving underneath. Rest if you have to, but don’t quit. And even if she had to drag him by his horns, kicking and screaming, she was going to bring him back into the light and out of this quicksand of depression and misery that he was mired up to his eyes in. She was not having it.

But when he sighed and spoke, the Vastiana smiled up at him. “It’s not easy. It’s never easy. But you can do it. If I can do it, you can do it. It doesn’t seem like it right now, but you can. Sometimes it’s just one foot in front of the other. One breath at a time. One day at a time. Dominus, and remember that perfection is an illusion. Perfectionism isn’t the same as striving for our best. It’s not healthy achievement and growth. It’s a shield. It’s self-defeating and it brings out the worst of us. Let it go. Improvement, growth... that’s what matters. That’s what They want to see. If we stay stagnant, because we are paralyzed by pursuit of perfect... that’s the opposite of what They want to see,” Hilana was hardly a religious scholar, but as it had been explained to her in terms that children could understand by a priest that had actually been dragged out to the herds, constant learning and constant growth, even if it wasn’t a straight line, was what Deus Avaerys enjoyed seeing. Ambition. Desire. Domina Varvara wanted to see intention and long-term planning. But goals that could be worked on, achieved... that was something. And it just meant getting Æros back on his path, and helping him light the way in the darkness. Then he could find his dreams and goals once more.

“When I first met Khyan, which was the day before the conviction, really... I told him that no matter how dark it seemed... there were always lights there to help you find your way. You just had to look for them. And I say that to you now, too. There’s always lights, no matter how dark it may seem. It may take a bit of searching... but you can find your way. You will find it,” Hilana seemed plenty confident in this. “You are a child of the universe, as much as the trees and the stars, and you deserve to be here. Our Gods do not suffer fools, and if they didn’t think you were capable of something beyond your blood, she would have taken it all then. Your dying now, Dominus, serves nothing and nobody. It would leave a very big hole that I don’t think anyone but you can fill. No. All things break. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say... but intention. But you have to want it. I can want it for you, Khyan can want it for you, Palaemon, his father, your family that you do get along with can want it for you... but you have to want it. You have to believe. But trust that we believe in you. That you can do this. All of us make mistakes. But we need to learn from them and go forward. Forget the excuses, acknowledge what we did, own it, and carry on. We learn the lessons, and we keep them in mind going forward. Not as anchors to weigh us down... but as guiding points to mark out our course.”

But she had to chuckle at his surprise that others had tried to change her mind about it. “My father, my mother’s sister, my sisters, grandparents on both sides, Great-Aunt Eliana... when I spent two seasons with my mother’s tribe when I turned sixteen, I was offered any of the Runes that were carried amongst the tribe if I wanted them. My father actually tried to get Negation to stick two years ago, but since I wasn’t willing... it didn’t work,” the smile turned grim at that memory, and Hilana shook her head and puffed her cheeks to let it go. “But you’re very skilled with Mesmer, you know. Incredibly subtle... because I didn’t even notice it,” she smiled up at him at that. She might have been upset about it with someone else... but the Fae had gone out of his way to help her, and was going to help her with this. He’d had her best interests at heart, and trying to keep her from being too insane about it... Well, she could let that go. It wasn’t like he’d gone and messed with her head or her autonomy.

She was listening as he told her about possibility of making one of the lesser-known elements Arche, and she was fascinated by the concept. If such was doable...well... Hilana wasn’t afraid of hard work. “I’m sure your cousin will know. We’ll find out in good time,” she was cheerful. Hilana could be very go-with-the-flow of things, as stubborn as she was. Water wore away everything in the end, and so too could the wind, as hard as earth was and as hot as fire burned and raged. She also knew, too, that had it been someone else, like her family, arranging this, Hilana may well have dragged her feet more with the learning. But Æros was going to go out of his way to arrange this with a cousin, who was certainly a much higher rank than she, and the girl was not about to waste their time with lollygagging and hesitation.

But the way he spoke about Khyan and their being a surprise, she smiled up at him. “What’s meant to be will find a way,” she said it again, nodding. “For all of us. It will work out one way or another. Who knows what the next three seasons will bring? Besides, if there’s prospects, while he is as stubborn as I am, he wouldn’t want to interrupt that if there’s a good chance... Besides, my Elementalism teacher is here, so I couldn’t possibly leave, could I? That would be far to insulting to one of the Populus Ex-Re’ha,” Hilana grinned almost cheekily at that. Æros may not have been sure of how he could help with that, but apparently.... He already had. It could certainly be taken as an affront that an Equestrian had the nerve to interrupt the training of someone that an Elf had taken an interest in. Even the lowliest elf was above the loftiest human in the eyes of the Divine, and that was undeniable fact. And further, Palaemon was the son of the head of the House, so that was yet another obstacle that her father would have to contend with. He already didn’t think much of her intelligence with regards to such advanced concepts as the Arcane, so that was yet another card she would keep in her back pocket. While she would rather he didn’t find out about it... if she had to, and finding a partner with a deadline that outranked or pleased her father fell through, then she could use this as another reason before having to actively request her friends amongst the nobility step in to make him back off. It was funny, in a way, how that took a load off of her shoulders.

She nodded along at his analysis of the antivenin. “That is so. The blood cleanser is meant to prevent all kinds. Asp-specific is good for the asp alone. It might help a bit against other things... but it’s meant to target the venom of the asp. So if you know what you’re handling and what bit you, then the antivenin made for that specific bite is always best, but if you don’t know...and a lot of people don’t know what got them. You’d be surprised,” Hilana shook her head at that. “But to be fair, a lot of those creatures are ambush predators and they don’t necessarily attack you to be aggressive or spiteful, so once you’re struck.... Looking to see what it was is usually in the back of one’s head compared to the urgency of getting treatment.”

She watched Æros with the enormous Moonstone. As big as the snake plant had gotten, as much as it represented one of her mistakes, Hilana thought it was a good enough one. She’d learned something from it; there hadn’t been any real harm or damage done, and she hadn’t given the wrong thing to someone. Further, it had sparked interest and curiosity in his exact question. “That’s actually something I’m working on,” Hilana offered. “See, different plants thrive in different types of soil. Some are loamy, some are sandy, some like tightly compact soil with minimal drainage, others like something spongy, right? So Ecithian soil can encourage incredible levels of growth, but it’s not sustainable and it doesn’t always provide what the plants need. If it’s a plant that’s not native to Ecith, they won’t necessarily grow to this degree. I did try it on one of our native succulents, and it didn’t get anywhere near as big... I’ll show you that one, too. It’s here because it did get too big for my apartment... but it didn’t have explosive growth like this one. So it’s not universal,” the girl explained.

“But what I want to do is find a way to figure out what it is in this soil that makes things grow like this... and then apply that to other types of soil. So that way... the plants get what they need, and this property of explosive growth can be targeted, maintained, and used to help plants grow,” she tried to keep it in layman’s terms. There was no need to be ridiculous with botany and ecology, after all. “So I thought that that could be a very interesting project to undertake when I have advanced in alchemy... along with geology, ecology, and botany... to be able to do that. And then work Elementalism into the mix, and I think that will be a very potent project to figure out, wouldn’t it? That could change things all over Atraxia here in terms of helping with agricultural production and maybe helping to enhance oases for travelers and wildlife as well as making new ones.” The bubbly girl with her dancer’s skirts that hung off of her hips didn’t seem like one who would be interested in science and plants to such a degree to discover things like this... but appearances could be deceiving.

[Aeros]

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Nothing was ever designed to be easy, especially in the society wherein he lived, and he of course knew that. Although, one could argue that for some, it was. One could argue that each step up the ladder of the caste system made one's life easier in myriad ways. One could even argue that anyone with royal blood lived so high on this proverbial ladder that they were all together now unable to see the ground, to see reality for what it truly was.

But then there was the other side to that coin. Æros, born significantly higher in caste than Hilana, had many of the same concerns as she did. The system was a complex one because, well, anyone below them would likely see their gripes and as senseless whining given how much they struggled. Anyone much above Æros would be blinded by the light of the sun and moon they lived so close to, what with being so high up in the metaphorical sky and all that.

And so it was a broken system then, wasn't it? Pitting everyone within against one another, in a way. But what society had found one that worked better? What nation was more harmonious? Was there one? No, Æros didn't think so. Hierarchical systems were bound to be built upon exploitation and cruelty in one way or another and that was the way of things for all, Solunarium or not.

That being the case, Hilana, even further, had a point. To rise, you had to want it. If power was not handed to you by the circumstances of your birth, you had to wrest it from the hands of those above you. A lot of innate power was handed to Æros by the circumstances of his birth, in fact, he'd just been so isolated and controlled by his mother that he was almost blinded to it. A pity, that. Yet now, having been broken down to the very foundations of him being cleared away, he could begin anew. Free from the binds of anyone's psychological control and therefore free to begin to manipulate the system around him in his own favor.

In the recent past, Æros was aware he had been falling. He never knew what it would be like to hit the ground, but everyone always said one cannot rise until that happened. Until the descent stopped. And as one would imagine, collision with the bottom of the abyss did not feel good– so why would he, at first, recognize such a thing as something at all good? Hilana was truly a blessing, for she had helped him shift his perspective very quickly after he'd shattered at the end of his fall. For most, it could take weeks or months or even years. For him, not much more than a day or so. While that was not a thing he could take credit for, for once, he didn't care. Sometimes, one truly does need help in order to stand up again.

The emotion in the Færie's eyes had softened significantly by now. Much of the tension in both his face and body had faded and this time, more than just the unnatural calm forced by his Mesmer was present. "You really are insistent, aren't you?" Æros spoke with a wry sort of smile and a small laugh that turned into a soft sigh at the end. "With your encouragement, I'll be hard pressed to not have at least some sort of motivation, even if I can't find it within myself any given day. I…really do want to endeavor for greatness, even if my focus remains only on the arcane for the coming days." His words were woven with threads of gratitude, his voice far warmer than before.

Unless approached by the other man first, Æros might be a bit sheepish about contacting his uncle regarding Solunarium's political sphere. He was not sure if that would ever happen, and if it didn't, he would eventually have the confidence…or so he hoped. Until then, however, he had his Masquerade to focus on. And soon, he'd also have Semblance. Skill in several runes had to count as something, right?

Æros had only met both Khyan and Hilana barely a few weeks ago. He had known Khyan's family had been stripped of its wealth and caste but a few months prior; the boy had spoken of the fact that he'd only just recently finished training to be a proper servus when the two of them had met. The Færie imagined that such significant upheaval would cause an unimaginable amount of mental turmoil. His life, truly, would never be the same and it was through no fault of his own whatsoever.

"I suppose I'm glad the two of you had met back then, in that case. He would've needed support, then more than ever, I'd imagine. And you? You offer far more of that than anyone else I've met thus far," and while Æros laughed here, he did so with a bit of a grimace. People truly were closed and cold the higher up you went within the caste systems. It was sad, but it was necessary; one had to become quite a bit closed off lest one hold oneself open to many an unnecessary risk. To rise was often meant doing so at the expense of another equal to you.

"...and I'm well aware of the mistake I made. It won't be one I repeat, of that I can say. Allowing myself to get so swept up in my emotions like that was…most poor on my end." The starborn sighed; the chips had fallen so very unfortunately for him in the leadup to that scenario. His head was a mire of stress, anxiety, anger, frustration and the instability of his waning substance abuse combined with the waxing of minor withdrawals certainly did not aid him in those moments. But while the circumstances were pitted against him, it was still his choice to have said what he said– he had no choice but to live with it.

"That being the case…it is done. Est quod est. I'll walk forward if for no other reason than the fact that stasis is truly agonizing." And it was. Stagnation was painful, frustrating, disappointing. If he was going to keep breathing, he needed to keep moving.

It really was a surprise to learn that even the members of her mother's tribe were unable to convince Hilana that a rune was a gift, not a fetter. He would've thought that out of all people, they would have served the best chance. Perhaps they didn't truly understand what it was like to be leashed like the two of them were to their parents in such a disharmonious way. Æros himself had found that most people came across as almost incapable of wrapping their heads around just how powerless one can feel when one's desires are so vehemently opposed to those of one's parents. Maybe it was that kinship that served as key.

"I'm just surprised they were unable to find an approach that worked, really. But regardless…I am glad I was able to reach you. I sincerely think you'll experience life ever more vibrantly with the elements drawn to your will." Æros spoke with a voice so thoroughly suffused with warmth and optimism that one might find it uncanny, coming from him. It wasn't out of character, though, not really. With magic, the possibilities were endless. It was that which he loved about it– that people had been wielding these runes for absurd amounts of time and yet there still lurked infinite wonders to be found.

"Mesmer is meant to be subtle…and, well, I used to uh…lie. A lot. I've learned that when trying to convince people of anything, really, that the key is their comfort. Comfort, calm, safety– all of that are conduits for trust and if one just tries to force trust on its own, the effect can be dissonant and unwieldy." He paused for a moment, realized the implications of what he'd just said and then abruptly added, "...but that…I wasn't trying to manipulate you. I just– that's how I learned a soft touch, that's all."

And truthfully, it had become hard to not weave the magic into his everyday interactions because that was simply how he'd operated for the better part of the last thirteen or so years. At first, he'd always simply kept himself open to the Symphonies of others simply to keep an eye on their moods. One wrong word or wrong step often resulted in his mother or another authority figure snapping, and as such, he'd learned to listen as softly as he could. Since then, he'd always been so very curious about how other people functioned, how they thought, how they perceived the world. He held no regard for privacy or boundaries, and while many might take offense to this, he could never bring himself to care. He also could not empathize with the sentiment, either. The vast majority of the time, he could tell if a peer Mesmer was tapped into his own Symphony and it was very rare for him to stop them from something as benign as listening.

The only line he considered it actually egregious to cross was influencing others to make choices they would never do on their own. And while doing so was generally regarded as a vast overstep, there were times in his life that Æros had violated that boundary. In most cases, he did this to steal. He had habits to maintain, after all, and the less of his family’s money he spent on that, the better.

As the conversation flowed towards that of æther and their respective families, Æros smiled, almost laughing at the sentiment that Hilana's father would be acting in rather poor taste to demand her return while she was under the tutelage of his family, or himself for that matter. "You do have a point there. To ask at all could be taken as an insult, but it depends on patience and courtesy of the elves in question. So…regarding you? I'll make sure that if he does attempt to meddle, House Len’Sælyan will take great offense." And of this, he sounded most pleased.

Their conversation continued towards venom and antivenin as the two of them continued forth through the greenhouse to eventually arrive at the extraordinarily large moonstone. Medicine was an interesting subject, though Æros had only learned a tertiary study regarding biology. It was probably more than those whose schooling held less prestige, but to say he was anywhere near an expert would be simply untrue.

It was always a bit of a delightful surprise whenever Æros ended up saying anything that would spark a tangent in his friend. His knowledge on mortal biology wasn't the greatest, but even then it was far greater than what he knew about…soil. As such, spurring Hilana into speaking at length about the subject was fascinating.

"To your interest, I do think you should endeavor to get Semblance next. If figuring out the composition of the world around us is your interest, then that rune will prove invaluable. You'll have yet another angle to look at whatever you wish– soil included. I, too, am fascinated to figure out what it is that makes their soil…do that. It's just so…wild, unfocused. There is a point when things get too big, so if one were to figure out the component that facilitated growth, one could perhaps even tweak the concentration enough to find appropriate balance, no? If you pursue this endeavor…do include me. My knowledge on the relevant subjects is questionable at best, but…I'm a quick learner if nothing else." As he spoke, his voice varied from enthusiastic to almost bashful towards the end. The project genuinely did interest him and, if he could help, then all the better.

- - -

'Thoughts'

"Vallenor Tongue/Speech"

"Vastien Tongue/Speech"

"Valasren Tongue/Speech"

"Common Tongue/Speech"

[Hilana Chenzira]

As glad as Æros was to have gotten through to her regarding magic, Hilana was pleased to have gotten through to him about making the most of his situation, seizing control of it, and turning it around. Time was going to pass anyway; you could either let it pass in misery, or you could make it into a life you wanted to live. As much as she could, Hilana chose the latter, and she was glad to give the starborn Fae some encouragement on making that choice, too. Perspective was everything. Sometimes it just took another’s eyes to help find your way. Just as he had with her and Elementalism.

“I am incredibly stubborn,” Hilana admitted. “One of my guardians would tell you it takes a lightning bolt to make me change my mind or give up on something; because I can be a dog with a bone,” she smiled at that. “As unflattering as that is, he would know. He was in charge of me for the first five years I spent in the Sands. In the cities, I’ve found that’s not very acceptable to a lot of people, however, not many are keen to hear it. Be content, keep one’s mouth shut, do not make waves... but you can do this. The heart knows what it wants. The challenge is to silence the mind. Silence the doubts, the criticisms, everything that says ‘You can’t!’... because you can. If you want it, you can make it happen. I have no doubt about that. You have what it takes. Here and here,” she tapped her temple, and then her heart. “There are days when we are tired, and just practicing something you already have down is all we can do... and that’s okay. Rest if you must, but don’t quit.”

She smiled when he spoke of her helping Khyan, or at least supporting him. She doubted she had been much support at all to him the day before the conviction had been handed down, but he had at least came and found her the other week. And that had meant a lot to her, even if the former Patrician would never really understand why that was. “I don’t think I was a whole lot of help to him,” Hilana admitted. “He wasn’t really in any mood for talking about it, so I just talked and asked him questions and inserted my foot in my mouth a few times,” she could at least own that. “Got him breakfast and walked him to the Sorokyne District, then I went and found his clothes from the rooftop of the taberna and sent them on with the servus that he sent to pick them up,” she shook her head. “He came and found me a couple of days ago and we had dinner, and I managed to annoy him by trying to offer advice that wasn’t wanted or needed, but we smoothed it over with some of Vasilei’s homebrew mead. So sometimes... I just kind of need to learn when to keep my mouth shut and when to keep going.”

She nodded when he spoke about the mistake, and at least looked like she well-understood how that went. As she’d just told him, and had demonstrated repeatedly since they had first met, she had a tendency to go off at the mouth and what came out didn’t always involve conscious thought. Reining herself in took a lot of work sometimes. She couldn’t have known about everything he had been put through, and the stresses and trauma he was dealing with when he was confronted by Her Argent Luminescence, but had she been in his sandals, Hilana wasn’t convinced she would have managed any better. If anything, she probably would have been worse, especially in those circumstances as he had described them to her. Her trying to keep herself from word-vomiting everywhere was a work in progress, but...progress was progress, as she had just so recently said. And any improvement and progress was something. “We just keep going,” she agreed. “That’s all we can do. Keep moving. Once we’re moving, it’s easier to brush things off. Let the wind take it, and let it go. The shame we cannot lift away is best left to lie.”

She nodded when he expressed his surprise that her maternal family hadn’t been able to manage it. “You’d think so, right? They might have... except for the fact I overheard my father and my Aunt Sarala talking about that exact topic the night before I went out to them. My father, with his obsession about control, wasn’t pleased about my going, and initially had been very much against it, but my Aunt reasoned that it was their best chance at getting me to take on a Rune. That was her tribe. She is my mother’s younger sister, but she was barren, so she never married or had children of her own... but she always helped my mother with us, and when my father decided we were going to Tertium, she came along as well. And so because I knew that... I wouldn’t do it. And they said much the same as you - that it would be helpful, that I would surely enjoy it, that it would open up aspects of my life that I kept myself closed off of. It would help my pack and my people in ways that I couldn’t as someone who was mundane. It would be another way of honouring Deus and Domina. I knew they wanted to help me and they believed in it, and I don’t think they knew about the fact my father was using them to try to accomplish what he couldn’t do.” Hilana was thoughtful.

“They would have told me so if they’d known about it, because they were at least upfront about their feelings about him with me. They didn’t think much of the fact that he went off to Tertium with us, especially with me being the way I was, and what happened in the years following that, but there wasn’t a whole lot to be done about it. My father’s businesses in Tertium have been useful for their tribe over the years, so it was a difficult balance for them to walk, because my father could be petty enough to make it difficult for them for arguing too much regarding me.” Where his mother had to be a bit careful with the head of her House, it seemed like Hilana’s father had a lot more pull than he should have had, and while that was beneficial in some ways, it hadn’t helped the girl with the fact that she could have been, and perhaps should have been, raised by her extended maternal family. But then again, if they had, she wouldn’t be here, now, would she?

Everything happens for a reason. Even if the reason isn’t obvious at the time.

The girl listened as he spoke of Mesmer and his uses of it, and raised her eyebrows in mock shock at his words, only to smile when he sought to reassure her that he hadn’t intended to manipulate her. “I understand. You are trying to help me, and if I get my hackles up, that just means I’m not going to listen right? Because you raised many valid and valuable points, but what good are they if I wouldn’t even hear them out?” Hilana trusted Æros not to mess with her head, not when she had already expressed the fact that her father had been all too willing to do so when she was a child. Not when his own mother had tried to do the same to him. There was a shared experience there between them, and that had made all of the difference.

She chuckled at his tone when he assured her that his House would take offense to her father being of a mind to argue if it came down to that, and she inclined her head. “I thank you. He’s stubborn, but I don’t think that even he is that stubborn. Still, the threat should be enough if need be, but we’ll see how well we can hide it. After all, if he finds out beforehand it just means that someone here managed to accomplish what he deemed impossible, and if he was to interrupt that prematurely...” Hilana shook her head to disrupt the train of thought before it started getting obsessive. “I’m probably overthinking it, not to mention Glade is seasons away, and Searing even further, but we’ll see what battle comes from it. There's little point in getting myself worked up about it now, is there?”

Hilana nodded eagerly as he seemed to understand just what she wanted to do. There were very few people in her life that understood her passion for something as...well... dull... as earth, but the girl didn’t share the sentiment. Few people actually realized how much work went into producing food that people took for granted; few people actually thought about food beyond the fact it appeared for them to buy in the market. But she, on the other hand, was involved in the care of the plants, along with the production process, that was needed for the sustenance that people enjoyed. “That’s exactly it, yes,” the girl agreed, clearly excited by the prospects. “That’s what I want to isolate, because if that can be done, then it could be used to customize soil for all kinds of things, in the greenhouse or outside of it. And from there, maybe plants could be encouraged to adapt a bit better to our climate and the local ecology. And it’s a way of learning about more plants from Ecith, which means more samples and we can keep them from growing into a little jungle,” she patted the Moonstone’s fronds.

“You know I will,” Hilana was cheerful. “But you should be careful what you ask for, because I most certainly -will- involve you in this, and drag you along through it with me until you get sick of it,” she laughed. "When Khyan came to see me a few days ago, much to do with plants went right through this side and out the other,” she indicated her ear, but she didn’t seem put out about it. “But he and I have other interests, like Tiaz, so there’s that,” she remembered Arvaelyn’s lesson on common ground. But if everyone liked the same thing, life would have been boring and there wouldn’t have been much to discover about each other. “Besides, with your acquiring Semblance, you’ll be able to help me see parts and pieces that I’m missing... because that is a good use of it, isn’t it?” One Rune at a time. But there was no denying what he just said about its uses in this regard, too. Some part of her wondered why others hadn’t done it, but on the other hand... how many people were as fascinated by soil and nutrient compounds as she was when they could just make things grow with aether?

[Aeros]

TIMESTAMP: -
NOTES: -

► Show Spoiler

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- - -

Æros knew a thing or two about stubbornness– his mother was and he also possessed that trait. Being steadfast in one's beliefs and decisions could be a good thing; it kept one consistent, helped people know what to expect and so on, but if one was never willing to change or yield, one would never grow. Through the course of both this conversation and the past two weeks, the Færie had learned this. He really was going nowhere fast and that wouldn't change unless he did.

"I know that all too well. Silencing negative thoughts is…a tricky thing. My past strategies work…but they aren't very conducive to being productive." Æros paused; he debated elaborating on that but ultimately decided against doing so. He'd only cause her more alarm since his methods of choice were all dipping into the realm of self harm. Drowning oneself in drink or drugs, sleeping greater than twelve hours a day and silencing your emotions and thoughts with Mesmer were all destructive. If you overuse your own Craft on yourself too much, you can even run the risk of permanently altering the way you perceive and feel emotions. That strategy was usually a last resort if he ran out of his more traditional methods or used in moments of high tension.

Frankly, drowning anyone in Mesmer could cause great harm to their spirit if the caster were powerful enough. So for a master to regularly warp themselves into feeling nothing? That certainly was a dangerous game to play; he greatly feared numbing himself completely. It was one thing to tone things down or up, but to silence or greatly amplify with any regularity was when risk became involved. This also likely applied to what he and Khyan did to one another in more ways than one, but Æros was continuously turning a blind eye to that one.

Given that, he found himself wishing he'd silenced everything anyways during that conversation with Varvara– he just hadn't thought about it. That's the problem with panic; it's hard to think clearly. But if he had, he would've delivered unto her only what was necessary and nothing else…he could only wonder what the outcome would've been.

"I suppose for my own sake, then…I'll try your methods. I'm not helping myself with what I've been doing." It was rare for Æros to make promises because he didn't like giving people expectations. Here, however? Granting her his word would serve as a tentative foundation for his own motivation.

"I do find you endearing for how hard you try to help, even if you do fumble your words. Learning what to say and when to say it is…hard. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself; at least you aren't me," Æros laughed. "Your errors with him shouldn't haunt you, but the one with whom I misspoke?" He gave her an exaggerated shrug, as if to say he had no idea how to fix that mistake. "All we can do is give up or move forward and I'm so tired of doing nothing… so move forward it is." While the Fæ sounded for the most part apathetic, it was still a very raw sort of pain that he felt towards the subject.

"Ah, I think overhearing that conversation poisoned the well for you regarding their arguments, then? That is…unfortunate. Your aunt probably didn't understand the extent of your problems with your father." Why would she? Most people cannot fathom harboring such anger and hatred for their parents.

"Everything is so much more complicated with money involved, isn't it?" The Færie sighed. Sometimes, money made things far easier if one had a lot of it. If one did not, then it was more often the opposite. The amount of damage this dichotomy caused between friends, families, lovers…anyone, really, was endless. "A shame he'd use it to push down those he should view as valued family for his own obsessive need to control your fate."

Regarding magic, manipulation, and succeeding to get one's message across, Æros was relieved that she wasn't bothered by what he'd done. Some people get irrationally mad even if they're influenced just a tiny bit. That was always odd to him, frankly. One's own emotions are not always even productive and sometimes shifting them with Mesmer actually helped one to think clearer and making far better choices, and yet some people acted is if not being able to feel everything organically was some big travesty. Then there were others who just got mad at the very principle of the fact that he didn't ask first even though if he had, he was positive they'd have said no– literally positive. As a Mesmer, he can figure that one out beforehand, too.

Looking relieved, he replied, "I'm glad you at least understand…I've run into people before who get exceptionally defensive over even the most harmless use of magic. Because yes, my only goal was to keep you calm enough to actually listen to what I was saying." It was more often than not more productive to not say anything at all and subtly tug on strings; it was nice to be able to be transparent with somebody for once.

When it came to the possibility that Hilana's father should hear anything prior to her getting the rune itself, he very much had doubts. "I'm not sure anyone would have anything to even tell him prior to you actually acquiring the rune. Nobody would even be able to prove conversations about the subject had even occurred, really…so I wouldn't worry about that at all." After all, the only people who really should know prior to her getting the rune were the two of them and Palæmon himself.

In reference to whatever magical properties lay within Ecithian soil, "one could even go beyond that. Find uses for it in alchemy that go beyond just soil, too. I imagine that would be possible if the compound was isolated, though to what end? That is…too far ahead for me to predict, but I certainly am curious." Even if she was intent to focus on soil, Æros imagined if he was there assisting her in this endeavor he could focus more on alternative uses himself.

"You're very welcome to drag me along; I'm sure I can find my own uses for whatever it is you or I find in this little journey you wish to embark upon." He was not at all put off by the idea that she would bug him about the subject, laughing softly to himself at the idea of Khyan being made to mess with matters more ecological. The boy was curious, but his interests were in subjects far enough removed from plant life that it made sense for him to have just zoned out when Hilana spoke about it. "I can't see him being very entertained about the idea of digging around in the dirt or waiting for plants to grow. Unfortunate, but…there are surely other things we can convince him into doing."

"Of course. I intend to use Semblance to examine the properties of a great many things– I'm not exactly sure how one manages to identify and sift through individual pieces of information, but I suppose that is something I will learn with time." How much time? He wasn't really sure. Could be months, could be years. Æros certainly hoped that he'd be able to make far quicker strides, but in order to do that, he'd actually have to try to take care of himself. His current lack of self care probably wasn't helping when it came to expanding ætheric capabilities, surely.

"I do wonder what everything actually looks like with eyesight altered by Semblance. I know you can see almost endless information, but it's not as if it's written out in words or comes with explanations. Figuring out what everything you're looking at means will definitely be a learning curve even beyond simply figuring out how to potently wield æther through the rune itself. Take identifying other people's runes for example– I know that I'll be able to see them, but they won't be labeled, right? I'm going to have to figure out what each one looks like through new eyes. Which…while that sounds like a fun journey, I am also painfully impatient." One could easily tell Æros was internally conflicted between excitement and irritation about having to manually figure out a lot of this information. Sure, he could ask Khyan or other Semblers, but he'd also been told that the perception of these things sometimes wildly varied between mages. While one could always trade notes so to speak, sometimes the same things would look altogether foreign for two different Semblers.

- - -

'Thoughts'

"Vallenor Tongue/Speech"

"Vastien Tongue/Speech"

"Valasren Tongue/Speech"

"Common Tongue/Speech"

[Hilana Chenzira]

If Hilana had had any clue just what he did to himself to stifle the trauma and pain, she certainly would have been worried and upset. He wasn’t wrong about that. But that was more out of concern for him and his long-term health rather than any self-righteous judgment on her part. Her own vices were just as scary as his, if anything, perhaps worse in terms of damage she could do to herself unintended, and she was like as not to get injured or kill herself one day in pursuit of them. Sure, she was more careful than she used to be, back before one of her friends got injured… but even still, she could be so very reckless. And if she made herself an invalid, well…life wouldn’t be worth living.

Even she could admit that. But with the proper training in alchemy, then chances were, something destroyed might be fixable. But that was a very long way off.

“Give it a go,” Hilana encouraged him. “Just five things a day that you like about yourself. You are creative. You are kind. You are strong. You have a good heart. You are worthy.” She told him, giving him the first five as she squeezed his hands. “The more you say it... the more you silence the negativity by not feeding it... the easier it gets. You are here. You don’t need to just survive... you can thrive, Dominus. I know you can. I know that you will.” The Vastiana smiled up at him. “A regular schedule, if at all possible. Good food, enough to drink... exercise. It will help you, and that is what you need. If you can make yourself busy, that helps to distract your mind until you get into those habits. But when your feelings come... feel them. Repressing them only makes them fester, and when they fester they hurt a lot more when the time comes to really feel them. Feel them, and then give yourself permission to let them go. Remember the lessons, but don’t dwell on missteps. Every day is a new day. A new chance. A new adventure. The past is in the past.”

She squeezed his hand again when he gave that shrug, and she offered him a reassuring smile. “Success is not permanent. Failure is not final. Breathe. Always breathe. That gives you a chance to settle, to calm your mind and your heart, and when the time comes to speak with Her again... and you will have another chance, given time, I truly believe it... remember to breathe, and then you can compose it. But I think as you rediscover your centre and your confidence... it will be easier.” Hilana offered. She had yet to commune with one of the Founders, beyond Her Argent Luminescence whispering that She was watching her the other night. So in Æros’ place... she didn’t think that she could say she would have done any better.

But she smiled grimly when Æros suggested that her eavesdropping had soured her for the experience she might have had with her mother’s tribe. “It did. I knew what he was planning, I knew what he was hoping for, I knew what he intended to do if I’d been initiated into a Craft... which was rip me from my pack and bring me into Tertium for training regardless of my opinions on it. They wouldn’t have allowed me to stay with my maternal family to continue training. There was no chance of it. Had that been the case, maybe it would have been different. But it wasn’t, but it is what it is.” Her tongue went over her teeth, smoothing out the irritation that came with the thought of her Aunt. “My Aunt Sarala knew full well the extent of my problems with him. She’s been with us forever, really. She was all too happy to leave behind the tribe and settle in Tertium and play mother and happy families. I ruined that for her, though... she was hoping that I would call her ‘mama’... because Founders know my sisters didn’t. But I wasn’t two years old when my mother passed with my little brother.... So I don’t really remember her as much as they do. But my Aunt has been allowed to play the part our mother would have through their rites of passage, as my sisters got betrothed and married and started families of their own... she’s been given that position. With me? Never.” Hilana shook her head. There was scorn and hidden anger there. It was different from the anger at her father, but there was anger nonetheless. It wasn’t as roiling, as white hot, which suggested it was a much older issue than the control her father exerted over her...

“But you’re right. Money just complicates things,” Hilana put a hand on her hip. “I’ve little use for it beyond helping my friends with it if they need it. I was always raised to believe that as long as someone can pay their way... they have enough.” The girl didn't dress like the average extravagant Equestrian. She certainly didn't act like one. Her clothes, as bright and colourful as they were, were not made of expensive fabrics, they were not particularly tailored, and she wore little jewelry beyond her earrings. But admittedly, it bought books, plants, and ingredients for cooking... But still. She didn’t obsess over it, she didn’t care to lord it over anyone... but that wasn’t particularly in her nature. She didn’t have much use for it growing up, she had learned to barter and trade and find things, even if it had horrified others of her Caste with their expensive expectations. “I choose to work. I don’t have to, I could be married to some merchant princeling that my father picked and stay home and raise children. My sisters have never worked. They did their studies and promptly got married. That says something about my family’s expectations, doesn’t it?” she smiled at that. As critical as she sounded... she wasn’t criticizing the paths her sisters had chosen. Hilana wasn’t so much of a hypocrite: she was critical of her family’s expectations that she would follow their paths.

She led him past the Moonstone, and over a short distance towards something else. This plant was another strange one, and the clay pot it was in rather resembled a fairly massive cask in terms of size. Its ‘trunk’ base, if one could call it that, was a gnarled, thick mess that spread all the way to the edges of the pot, though it did thin out in the centre to resemble a miniature tree trunk, before erupting in large pink flowers with white and yellow centres. This one was not as tall as the snake plant... but it looked much heavier. It was easy to see that this might well have been the native plant that Hilana mentioned had gotten far too big for her apartment in Ecithian soil. “You mean well,” she told him honestly. “That’s the difference. I trust you. You’re not using me, you’re not attempting to manipulate me or play with my head. You told me you didn’t have any part of my decision, and that is good enough for me. That you left it to me, rather than twisting me around... it means a lot, Dominus.” She reached out and touched the plant in front of them. “This is my old Adenium obesum desert rose,” Hilana smiled at it. “I tried growing it in Ecithian soil just to see what would happen, and as you can see it did grow, because when I first put it in the soil, the trunk was only this big,” she made a small ring with her fingers.

“But seeing what else could be made to grow could be very interesting. Could it be used on animals? Could it be used on people? On gemstones?” Hilana shrugged one shoulder, and then the other. “The sky would be the limit, wouldn’t it? But I’m sure something could be done with it... it’s just figuring out the options, right?” she was thoughtful. “But drag you along I will, even if it’s all over the sands. Or we have to hit the jungles themselves,” she made her eyes huge, as if to express horror, but while she was teasing, the girl was not the biggest fan of broaching the Orcani stronghold. Miserable monsters such as they were... but if it was what needed to be done in pursuit of their quest, so be it. Between his multitude of Runes and his ability to master them, Hilana’s own determination with everything else... they would make it work. “Once I can make you a whole host of those cooling crystals with Crystalize. If we got our hands on a wyvern, Khyan could fly it. I know that’s something that he loves,” she brightened at that. “I do want to learn one day, but Khyan already knows. And then who knows, he can bask in the sun while we find what we need to find.” Or maybe those two would be able to occupy themselves while Hilana was looking at plants. That wouldn’t surprise her; she had done the same thing before with her friends...

“I wonder if it’s different for each Mage,” the girl knew even less than he did regarding how things looked through Semblance. It had been described to her as having a whole wealth of facts and information dancing on the subject being scrutinized, but Hilana didn’t know how it would work in a practical sense. But she supposed there was only one way to find out, and that was to experience it... or maybe ask a Sembler. Perhaps she would poke Khyan about it the next time she saw him. “But I think that once you get started, the pieces will fall into place and it will come to you... probably in a way that will be much easier than we think.” The lithe Vastiana had plenty of faith in his ability to work through this, and then he could certainly tell her more about it when the time came. Because she was definitely curious as to how the Starborn Fae would experience his new Rune, and perhaps it would give ideas to her about how it would translate later. “Patience is bitter... but its fruit is sweet.”

[Aeros]

TIMESTAMP: -
NOTES: -

► Show Spoiler

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To Æros, the idea of saying five affirmations to himself every day was altogether silly and he wasn't quite sure it would actually amount to anything. In some ways, it felt almost embarrassing, as if he would be lying to himself. But was that really the case? Would it be lying? If Hilana could sing his praises, then the words had to carry some truth, did they not? The half-starborn's expression softened as Hilana praised him, shifting to something almost bashful.

"You really think that, huh? And if nothing else, your insistence affirms your sincerity…" Æros sighed. "I will test out this theory of yours, much as I might doubt its veracity…and you do have a point about being busy. The mind can't run rampant when otherwise occupied." For now, the task would be done as if to placate her– the hope, however, was that eventually it would work as intended.

Confidence was a funny thing. The star-touched Fæ hadn't felt true confidence in a long while, much as many who know him would find that genuinely difficult to believe. For as long as he could remember, he feigned it. And for why? Well, when one's elders constantly tell you you're a failure for any imperfection, it becomes markedly difficult to feel confident in one's abilities over time. "Maybe one day I will remember what true confidence feels like…I've endured this long; I suppose waiting just a bit longer won't kill me."

The extent to which Hilana's family ignored her wishes became ever the more similar to his own the more she spoke. "...such a shame your mother's own sister would choose to act that way. I would think she'd desire to honor your mother through her behavior by doing her best to properly care for her children, and yet it would seem she either failed catastrophically or did not care." He shook his head, eyes narrowed and gaze off to the side, a bit of disgust evident in the way his nose wrinkled.

Money was an odd topic with Æros in this context. He had a lot more than his companion in this scenario and, despite his recent outlandish behavior, he likely always would provided he didn't find himself in trouble with the greater government or the divines. Well, further trouble.

"I've…never been without it, really. Even when my family's coffers were out of reach, I…found ways to get my hands on it." Either through Mesmeric or mundane manipulation or through dance and performance, he was never without his creature comforts. "...but I do see your point. It's a hard thing to balance and too much often poisons a person. I do admire your work ethic, though honestly? I think you'd lose your mind if you tried a life without the type of work you've chosen," and following this, he laughed.

As the two wandered away from the Moonstone and towards another rather mighty looking beast of a plant, Hilana spoke of intentions and trust. Her words warmed his expression. "Of course…I want it to be your choice; I want you to actually embrace and enjoy magic, and if I had chosen to simply manipulate you, later down line, well…you might find yourself resentful of both me and your Craft, and that's counterintuitive, no? And sure, I could whisk that away, too, but we've both been controlled enough. Imposing that upon you would be a choice of utmost cruelty."

"The desert rose is a pretty thing, a bit grotesque in its grandiosity, but I quite like it. But as for Semblance on all those things? Yes. In theory, it is simply a sixth sense or a third eye. A new avenue through which you can perceive the world and everything in it, though we are told it is quite unwise to gaze upon creatures that are beyond mortal. Anything else, however? Naturally– provided the thing or creature in question is not otherwise warded." And oh, how exhausting wards were to deal with.

To Hilana's comment about dragging him 'round on all her little excursions, he laughed something hearty. "You won't have to use force. You said I need to busy myself, remember?"

At the mention of a Wyvern, Æros brought a hand to his chin in thought. "I know my has wyverns we could use, but…I might consider tracking down the one Khyan used to own. That way, we'd have access to one at any time as opposed to if we opted to borrow, and, well…he's declined other types of gifts. I wish I understood why, but I doubt his pride would deny him his old pet, hm?" The Fæerie spoke musingly, as if talking himself through the thought.

"It probably is. Mesmers perceive Symphonies differently than one another, though such things always relay the same information. I don't doubt Semblance is similar in that regard, to be honest. I…honestly, I'm excited to see the world in a new way." These words were sincere in a way that was palpably different than almost everything else he'd said prior– notes of wonder, awe, and an almost childlike curiosity present.

- - -

'Thoughts'

"Vallenor Tongue/Speech"

"Vastien Tongue/Speech"

"Valasren Tongue/Speech"

"Common Tongue/Speech"

[Hilana Chenzira]

Hilana certainly did think that. “Positive thinking is important. Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right,” she told him, smiling up at him. You had to face it until you made it, and from there, you were to practice until you couldn’t get it wrong. Those were mantras drilled into her from childhood by her guardians, and they were a big part of Hilana’s life. Where Æros had had relentless criticism, Hilana’s critics were her immediate family and her Aunt, and she spent less and less time with them as she got older. And after a little while, their words no longer stung, no longer hurt, because they meant very little to her. They may have been blood, but they weren’t kin. Family is only family when they act like family, Asher had told her, and until then, she needn’t worry about them. Her family was her pack. But at the same time... the half-Fae, it seemed, hadn’t been so lucky as to have that distance and separation from his mother, coupled with the support he desperately needed.

But, she knew, he had it now. And she was determined to support him, encourage him, and bring him back around. He just needed a hand in getting started. Considering how little Hilana could actually do in this city for someone of his status, she was glad she could do something. A pebble falling into a stream might only be a little pebble in a body of water, but it still made ripples. And those ripples would eventually work their way outwards. Their magnitude could grow. “She would tell you she was doing the right thing by supporting my father in his decision to settle us in Tertium. I doubt my mother ever wanted to go to the cities, but my Aunt certainly enjoyed the luxury that came with the opportunity. And if my father had told her to jump off of one of the Colossi at the Tertian harbour, she would have. Besides... she is barren. She cannot have children of her own, Founders know why. So this was her opportunity to be a mother, and she wasn’t going to let go of it. But she’s got a temper, too, and she ruined every chance she had with me before I even went to the herds.” Children were important in Solunarium; the government encouraged their citizens to have as many as possible. And if Hilana had a number of siblings, one could theorize that Nomads had larger families. Equestrians certainly seemed to, considering the amount of money there was amongst them... but money didn’t necessarily mean a happy family, either. Living proof was right there in front of him.

She chuckled when he said he couldn’t see her not working. “You aren’t wrong, Dominus. I need to be busy. I always have been, even if it’s just going out on Hayima’el for a ride in the sands. Or digging in here, or learning from Vasilei... I like to be busy. I always was as a child, my guardians kept me busy because I had energy to spare. Sitting still and being quiet were pretty difficult until they got me started on tracking... because then I had to, or I’d fail. Same with hunting. Vasilei says I need to learn to meditate, and I think that is going to be the hardest part yet,” Hilana grinned at him. “But there’s a good reason for it, it’s just making myself do it and get into the habit. My ex-intended told me he didn’t want me working once we got married,” the girl’s eyes rolled so far back into her head she might as well have been looking at her brain. “You can imagine the joy I felt when the engagement was broken off.” And if it hadn’t... Well, bets could have been made on how long it would have taken Hilana to be widowed.

She smiled back at him when he assured her that he wasn’t out to control her and her choices. He was right. What good was going to all of this work if she was going to be resentful of it? Why risk everything, including setting her up to be a student of his cousin, if it wasn’t genuine? There weren’t many that held the Mesmer rune that she could say had his ethics, but she was glad that she had made another friend. “We have, haven’t we?” she agreed. “But times are changing, Dominus. I know it.” For both of them. Hilana was nodding at his explanation of Semblance, though she did cross her eyes at the mention of wards. She knew them all too well. They held her saddles hostage in Tertium, after all.

“I think Khyan doesn’t like feeling that he owes someone something,” Hilana admitted. “He’s gone from being a part of the most powerful Vastian family in this city to being a servus, and he did say it was easier being the friend in high places than otherwise. He’s not wrong about that; but he’s still getting used to it and I think it rankles considerably. I know I would feel the same in his stead. But his wyvern’s name is Graecos. Bronze purebred, but not a giant. The family that took over in his father’s place should have him, unless they went and sold him. I don’t know,” the girl admitted. [color=#9370D8“But we could look into finding out.”[/color] And as far as she was concerned, that would mean asking around regarding lessons for wyvern riding, and then seeing who knew what. Or she could just be direct and approach the domus of Gens Nykara and see if Graecos was available for sale. There were options. It was just a matter of putting them into action, and with Hilana being a human... it might be the safer choice of the two of them.

“I think it will suit you,” the girl told him, giving the monstrous desert rose cactus a final gentle caress before heading to her favourite project. “Especially going forward. Semblance seems like it is highly underrated... and perhaps for a reason. My great aunt always used it for identifying plants and properties of them, not to mention she liked to be able to, well, she called it seeing people for who they were,” she admitted as they stopped in front of an evergreen tree that had strange, rigid pods growing on it. It was one of the largest plants in the greenhouse, tree or otherwise. It had to be around 14 feet tall at the top of the crown. “I don’t suppose you might recognize this one, Dominus? This is a cacao tree, and it is my big, long-term project. I want to establish an orchard of these one day,” she admitted. “But they are fussy outside of their home territory. They need certain growing conditions, certain water, certain soil, everything. It requires more love and care than an infant,” she smiled. “But the benefit of them? It’s what one uses to make chocolate,” she mentioned the Ecithian delicacy. She wasn’t a fan of the jungle, but chocolate was expensive, considering the lengths one went to get it if they ever did - working with the traders there was a good way to get yourself blacklisted and your reputation destroyed. So Hilana... wanted to be able to grow a bunch of it, and make it an option for the kingdom that was her home.... All without bothering with those detestable Orcani.

[Aeros]

TIMESTAMP: -
NOTES: -

► Show Spoiler

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Æros was still quite unsure about this so-called ‘positive thinking,’ but he supposed that if Hilana was so confident in its efficacy, there had to be some reason for that to be the case. “So you say…and so I shall see, I suppose. There is no drawback to trying, after all.” His response sounded sort of musing, but he did don a faint smile at the end.

As the conversation moved to discussion of family and then specifically to Hilana’s aunt, Æros blinked at his friend’s words, as if making a fair few judgments, though for a moment, he did remain silent. “I suppose…that makes sense, and I do sympathize for a woman in her position that cannot have children of their own– a shame it is that one’s value hinges on something that they cannot properly control, but…at the same time, her behavior is just…astronomically selfish in a way that benefits nobody. She very well could’ve had the relationship with you that she wanted, and yet, so shortsighted was she that she lampooned it before it could really even begin.” His voice was an odd sort of dry, almost pitying, even, words punctuated with a sigh. “...but then, I’ve ruined my own plans on more than one occasion without realizing it myself, so who am I to comment?”

While it was not really possible for Æros to relate directly to Hilana and her drive for activity and to keep herself busy, that type of thing was one of the many differences between the two of them he admired. “Myself, I find slowing down enjoying rest to be necessary to function, personally, but far be it from me to act as if there’s any one way to navigate life. Most would find your lifestyle far more admirable, but…” he chuckled and shook his head. “...but, inevitably, there are men who look at women and see little more than brood mares when you, and many others, are so much more than that. Just being a mother would be…such a waste of your potential.” And he meant that; she had so much skill and drive that dedicating herself to being solely a homemaker would be a tragedy. “That isn’t to say having children in and of itself would be a waste, but for that to be your life’s purpose?” The Færie cringed.

At the notion that the winds of fate were shifting, Æros smiled, looking genuinely hopeful. “They are, aren’t they?” He blinked a few times and shifted his gaze down, almost as if bashful. Really, he was just unused to feeling anything in the vein of optimism.

Regarding Khyan, it made sense if he were to look at it from the other boy’s perspective, but at the same time, it still vexed him. Æros sighed something of a huff. “Intellectually, I understand his perspective…I just, I don’t know, I want to make him happy. I want to make him feel loved, you know?” The thing about that was that the Færie didn’t really know how to express these emotions, so in lieu of anything else, the quickest way to do so would be through monetary means. “Graecos…” he repeated, though the name itself didn’t yet mean anything to him. After a moment of thought, “that’ll be, ah…interesting to track if he were sold, but all sales of wyverns have documentation; there’ll be a trackable paper trail.” Of course, such investigations were not his forte, but it wasn’t as if Æros lacked the means or connections to find somebody who could do so in his stead.

As they moved and the conversation shifted to Semblance and Hilana’s grand plans, his eyes traced the various flora around them when his companion spoke. “A lot of politicians have it, actually. Useful for that type of career, but I do think it's underutilized outside of such fields. I’m drawn to it because, well…the information Mesmer gives me is incredibly valuable, but I can’t use Mesmer on anything that isn’t sentient. Semblance? Works on the animate and the inanimate, making its uses endless.” It was a curious thing to him that more people didn’t opt for that rune as a second or third; perhaps, for a third, some were scared of brooking an initiation for a third time, but having two was incredibly common.

“Cacao? I do, actually, though I haven’t seen it in person prior to now.” His gaze drifted over the tree thoughtfully. “The pods are a bit larger than I had pictured in my head.” The Færie made this observation with a curiosity to his expression. “...but I was wholly unaware of how finicky they were. With Semblance, I could verify for you whether the soil and other variables are all correct at any given time, if you wanted. That way, you wouldn’t have to guess. With Elementalism, you can adjust things like moisture, temperature, soil properties and so on with ease. That being the case, I think your goal will soon be within reach.” He spoke with a hand to his chin, a sort of analytical, thoughtful nature to his voice, but afterwards, he smiled something encouraging at his friend.

- - -

'Thoughts'

"Vallenor Tongue/Speech"

"Vastien Tongue/Speech"

"Valasren Tongue/Speech"

"Common Tongue/Speech"