The Fear that Binds Us [Aurin]

The Jewel of the Northlands

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Torin Kilvin
Posts: 750
Joined: Wed Dec 16, 2020 12:54 am
Title: Runesmith
Location: Kalzasi
Character Sheet: https://ransera.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=1062
Character Secrets: viewtopic.php?t=4448

20 Searing, 123

"Aurin?" The smith's voice was quiet in the already quiet room.

It was his own bedroom, in his own house, and he was in bed, bare as born, with the man he loved tucked close beside him. For all the trials, dangers and fears that had come with the Eclipse, the continued cold at least made it comfortable to cuddle, skin to skin, without becoming sweat-sticky. The had made love, or fucked, or whatever whomever wanted to call it, and now they were laying close as the single candle left alight burned down on its holder. There was time left before it would snuff itself, perhaps an hour, and Torin was content to let it do so without interference. It wasn't especially late, but Timon was elsewhere for the night, and, after supper, there had been no reason for the two men not to spend their time in what way they chose as best.

Thus they found themselves, bodies in the state of languid, comfortable tired that was not exhaustion, but still made Torin feel heavy, as though his bed were iron and he a lodestone. His mind drifted for a time, staring up at nothing in particular as he dreamt, still wakeful, of fanciful creations and far off places. When he began to come back to himself, he recalled the resolution he had made, and the second he had made to inform his master of the first.

That was when he spoke the name that lived ever etched on his heart, tentative, as a question. When he got a sound as response he said,

"Can I talk to you about something?" This too was tentative, not because he thought Aurin might reject his request for a conversation, but because what he wanted to talk about might end up being uncomfortable.
word count: 314
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Aurin
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Location: Kalzasi
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Torin's home was one of Aurin's safe places. The hidden basement was more secure, of course, but they had worked together for years now to make this house a home and to keep those who laid their heads there safe: Torin, Timon, Huntress, Sivan, the Whispers, and, of course, Aurin. As such, he was often practically narcoleptic after a long day and sex, but he rarely slept deeply or soundly—there were old nightmares and old habits of staying alive and even in a safe place, those didn't disappear entirely.

His response was a grunt and the faint glitter of barely open eyes, but he was paying attention. Most of his face was buried in pillow as he lay on his belly, and the arm thrown over Torin's belly tightened, pulling them closer, though their bodies were already flush.

Aurin lifted his head enough to speak, "Wha'd'ya wanna talk 'bout?"

Well, he mumbled, but it was understandable, and then his face fell back into the pillow. But Torin knew when the man was asleep, both by the rhythms of his body and the resonance of his aura. When there was nothing keeping him awake, he would sleep. With business to attend to, he would not. But here he could be attentive without coming to a full alert. He needn't reach for one of the blades under the pillow, nor between the mattress and the frame, nor weave wards or glamours or disappear into one of his hiding places in the blink of an eye. He remained present for Torin.

He could even sense around the edges of what was coming. Torin didn't hide things from him, and now it was on the surface of his thoughts and the tip of his tongue. Magic. Danger. Fear. Determination. Need. His elbow keeping them close, the free hand came up to cup Torin's cheek, to offer comfort, to inspire courage.
word count: 326
“I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions.
I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
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Torin Kilvin
Posts: 750
Joined: Wed Dec 16, 2020 12:54 am
Title: Runesmith
Location: Kalzasi
Character Sheet: https://ransera.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=1062
Character Secrets: viewtopic.php?t=4448

The smith turned his head so he could see the part of Aurin's face visible above the fluff of pillows,

"I can wait, if you're sleepy, we can talk tomorrow... or another day." The hesitation in itself was enough to give away that his topic was an important one, but, unlike other times that he'd hesitated to inform his mast of something there wasn't the bright splash of guilt in his aura. There was a little, but it was subdued.

The blond rolled over on to his side so he was more directly facing his bed mate and tucking the lower arm under his head and the upper over the strong back that stretched out before him. A moment later he was massaging at the muscles that were visible, not with specific purpose, just a general one to relax and give pleasure. When his fingers found a knot he would work at it for a little longer before moving back to his general exploration. His mind was not in the work, but it, like all work, helped to calm and focus him. When his man's hand moved higher up his body and held his face he closed his eyes. Aurin would not sleep till he had spoken, so he tried.

"I was thinking about asking Kala if she might give me Elementalism."

He left it there for a long moment, letting the urge to spill out explanations, excuses and platitudes wash through his mind and his aura without allowing them to spill from his mouth. When the urge had passed he cleared his throat quietly, so if brushing it away, and continued.

"I've read on the initiation and threshold sickness. I know Semblance was bad, but I think that might have been because I was sort of already... I don't know, reaching out, feeling aether, before it. There are old stories about people who used with magic before the gods gave us runes to properly channel and control it. I had, have, I guess, something like that. You felt it in my, and I can still stop using my rune and hear the aether. Not with my ears but..."

He cut off, because Aurin would understand, he had shared what he felt like, even tried to bring the other man into it when he did it.

"When you gave me the rune, I sort of fell into it with my whole being. Fire is a part of me too, but not like that. It would help with my work in more ways than just the blacksmithing. If I could create Elemental Lodestones I wouldn't need to rely on dragonshards nearly as much, and being able to blend elements to create new things..."

Torin's tone had shifted from worried to hopeful, wonder and possibility swirling through his aura as they did when he was deep in his creative space. Coming back out of his revere he met the one eye he could see clearly,

"I could do so much."
word count: 514
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Aurin
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Letters: viewtopic.php?t=3581

Hazel eyes gave away little save attentiveness; though tired, he tracked each tic of Torin's facial muscles, each modulation of his voice, even as he sensed his boy through and through. But if he had an ingrained poker face, he wasn't hiding his aura from his lover. There had been a flicker of knee-jerk alarm followed by his iron will asserting itself over himself, forcing himself to calm and stillness, separating his feelings from his critical mind. Some might have been impressed; it was a survival instinct now. Fear could be a friend or a foe. Aurin had long ago embraced it.

He tracked the change from worry to wonder, and he knew the decision was already made. Though he could say no and Torin would accept that, though he could demand a sacrifice of potential for his own shiny happy feelings and Torin would take some pleasure in acceding to his wishes, he knew he would be stifling his boy, and he had promised to show him the world, teach him how it worked. Forbidding him the tools to fully inhabit his genius would not be a healthy or a helpful use of the dominion he held over him.

And so, when Torin's words finally ran out and all that was left was curiosity and hope, Aurin answered. He shifted so Torin's massaging fingers fell to his flank, and he let his own hand move down to cup Torin's sex in a possessive, protective manner. His other hand slipped between his cheek and his pillow, face ruddy from rubbing.

"All right," he said. "I'll allow it if she'll initiate you. But I want you to set things up so Sivan and Timon can run the forge while you recuperate at the Pavilion under her care. And I want Timon, Sivan, and I to be able to visit you and make sure you're recovering properly. Maybe Siv can..." he made a vague, mystical gesture with his hand, "persuade his elemental fairies to ease you through it. And I don't want you out of her sphere of influence until she has trained you enough that you aren't a danger to yourself. And I want her to keep training you without break until you hit that point where you're no longer an apprentice, you know? When you're ready to go your own way. And I want you to be so fucking careful because if something happens to you, I'll..."

He squeezed Torin's sex. It might have been a touch painful, but it was an instinctive claiming, not punishment.

"I know she won't fuck you up like I did. But I need to know that you and she are taking all the precautions, all right?"
word count: 468
“I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions.
I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
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Torin Kilvin
Posts: 750
Joined: Wed Dec 16, 2020 12:54 am
Title: Runesmith
Location: Kalzasi
Character Sheet: https://ransera.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=1062
Character Secrets: viewtopic.php?t=4448

The smith shifted, first to accommodate the change in positions, and then because the new touch felt good and his body liked to move in little ways to show its appreciation, to feel more fully. The hand on his lover wrapped around Aurin's lower ribs and squeezed, not hard, like a tiny hug. He felt safe with Aurin, always, but there was a different level when his most intimate and vulnerable parts were taken in hand, like his anxiety switched off.

Their postures were mirrors of each other now, one hand each supporting their heads, one hand each supporting the other man. Torin particularly liked the position when they were talking, it felt connected mentally and physically and he always felt connected emotionally through their auras now. He had felt the flash-pan instant of fear, and the control that had taken it over. Aurin was so strong, so self-controlled, Torin could never be as strong. He needed his man.

"I wouldn't want anyone else." He answered, then considered and said, "Maybe Kaus if Kala was there to support, but I think Timon might turn green if he wasn't the one to get a rune from Kaus."

They had shared a smile/smirk over the teenage crush Timon was nursing on more than one occasion. When more practical matters were broached his eyes unfocused again as he did math in his head.

"I thought, if she is willing, I could get my orders finished near the end of the season and take some time off. Won't take any new orders that will be due after, not until you both think I'm ready."

He was willing to give up that control, though it came to him suddenly how empty it would be to not have any work, not runeforge, for a prolonged period. Even after the incident walking in on Finn injured and being damaged by Arry, he'd had his work. Swallowing his discomfort over the idea he pushed it into his submission to Aurin's will and let it go.

He didn't bother to suppress the smile that came from amusement at the idea of Sivan's 'elemental fairies', it was as fair a description as any other, but it was still funny. He would never mock his master, but he wasn't afraid that his amusement would be attacked either. Over the smile he nodded,

"I think he might be able to, actually, and even if he can't, he could, and they, could counter act the typical effects of the sickness."

The other stipulations also got nods of full ascent, being an apprentice was something he was good at, learning from a master, having spent more time in that state than any other.

"I won't push for more than Kala instructs." He meant it to, magic seemed to come naturally to him, but so did wanting to do things the right way, learning things exactly.

When the comforting touch tightened to a painful one the smith's eyes fluttered a little as all his intent momentarily fled him. The little shifting wiggle of his hips was back, not trying to get away. In fact, it was quite the opposite as it caused the hold to pull and tug.

"I'll tell you." He murmured, scooting closer so till their noses were touching, "I'll explain every precaution, every step. Do you think I could go to Wraedan without your permission?"

Blond curls shook in answer to his own question and then they were kissing. Torin never had believed the danger he'd been in when he received his first rune had been Aurin's fault, hadn't seen how that would have been possible at the time and had then spent a great many hours in study to prove it. He'd explained his findings to the redhead, more than once, but he knew better than to try and argue now.
word count: 669
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Aurin
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Letters: viewtopic.php?t=3581

"Aye, have Kaus on hand as well..." The more the merrier, at least how he understood it. After Arry, then Torin, he had been gunshy when it came to initiating anyone in magic. Perhaps he would speak to Valencia in the future and ask her the best way to mitigate risk. She would know for Traversion, at least. Perhaps other contacts could offer him some solutions or at least best practices for his other tricks.

Aurin snorted at the sally about Timon and Kaus. All he knew was that if Kaus hurt Timon, his title wouldn't protect him. But Kaus seemed an honorable fellow, the way noblemen were purported to be, though rarely were. Privilege and power were corrupting for most. He was glad Torin seemed to have found the exceptions to the rule.

"Well, she's the expert, not me. But I suppose she could ramp you back up... start making viscerite at first, and then work your way up to more complex things as you pass... I don't know, whatever milestones she has in her magic books. And if you can't practice, you can read her magic books. I've seen things in the Pavilion, grimoires or what have you. I'm certain you won't be without magical... studies."

After Torin's attempt to sweeten the pot with kisses found a lull, he continued, "I'll check in with Kala. With Kaus and with Sivan, as well. Check in on your progress. Make sure you are following the rules." Nevermind Aurin scoffed at rules when he wasn't actively thumbing his nose at them, breaking them, and laughing at them. Torin was a rule-follower, and that would keep him safe. That was his way, and he ought to stick to it. In any case, it made sense in his head.

"I'm going to ask around... learn what I did wrong. So if we ever decide you need one of my tricks, I can... ease you into it better. Or... I don't know. Kala can teach you warding. Siv can teach you summoning. Kaus can teach you kinetics, or reaving, though I don't think you ought to need that one. Not now that war isn't imminent. I just want you to have all the tools you need to become the greatest runeforger in the land. Don't you worry about the rest... I'll know when danger's coming, and I'll protect you if it seeks you out." He laughed, a bit forced, trying to persuade himself that he wasn't scared of losing Torin to Fire or Water or Earth. "I'm a patron of the magical arts, eh? Making it so you can create unfettered..." He had clearly borrowed som verbiage from Elric.
word count: 466
“I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions.
I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
User avatar
Torin Kilvin
Posts: 750
Joined: Wed Dec 16, 2020 12:54 am
Title: Runesmith
Location: Kalzasi
Character Sheet: https://ransera.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=1062
Character Secrets: viewtopic.php?t=4448

Torin was listening, making mental notes of all Aurin's rules for the situation. He was surprised and pleased that the redhead was accepting and processing the worry they both had. They were both afraid, and it was not an irrational fear. Semblance was, according to all the generally accepted information, the easiest rune to take. His explanations to himself, from what he had read and pieced together, made sense. The discussions he'd had with Kala, the only other person he knew personally who had studied magic as a whole concept, had led to them generally agreeing on what had caused the issue. While he felt connected to fire as a concept and a reality, and while he loved Sivan's elemental spirits, neither had ever spoken to him, sung at him, or seemed able to communicate in the ethereal way that aether always had. So, he hoped his initiation into the new rune would be more normal, more as read.

Of course, Aurin would be checking up on him, he imagined the man would keep tabs on him with the Whispers trick they now both shared at all times of the day, and probably the night as well. The idea that Aurin's eyes could now be on him from anywhere in the city, and likely further away was enticing, exciting even. Once or twice he'd felt a sort of tingle in his Semblance field and wondered if it was Aurin checking in on him. It had caused reactions, both internal and external, which had been pleasantly embarrassing. He would tell Aurin about it later that night, leaning close and whispering how much he would like it if Aurin contacted him with the pendants and commanded him to put on a show that his master would watch through the quirk. But, for the moment, they were still discussing important matters.

A fact that was, he was ashamed to realize, a bit more difficult as some of his blood had gone elsewhere in the combination of imagining Aurin watching him from afar and the thought of more rules and what might come of him breaking them. He pushed into his aura the idea that maybe when Aurin visited he could remind Torin of the rules, pull him over his lap and give him a little soreness to keep him aware even when he was tempted, as he assuredly would be, to push for more than he should.

The daunting list of possibilities in personal magic pulled him, usefully, out of where his mind was heading and he blinked.

"I don't think I want..." He stopped and considered before starting over, "A rune, for me, feels... intimate, connected to me, my soul, I guess. I think I will try out all sorts of magic once Sivan and I, with your help and others, get our grove started."

Aurin knew all about their intention to grow trees from magical seeds that would produce fruit allowing for brief uses of various runic magics.

"But I don't know if I want more inscribed on me. Semblance feels like I've sort of always had it, I can just really control it now. Elementalism also feels like it's already a part of me. More like activating my potential than changing anything. If I ever feel that way about another rune I'll ask about it, but I think this might be it, for me."
word count: 581
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Aurin
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Letters: viewtopic.php?t=3581

Aurin certainly did use his sembling trick to keep an eye on Torin from wherever he was. He now realized that if he was clumsier with it, or just made Torin aware of his presence, he would enjoy that. There was the strange thing he had noticed with his runes as well - the connection they gave to the people who had initiated him or been initiated by him. But he would ensure Torin felt his gaze going forward.

His own tricks still felt like tools in his kit, or cards in his hand, though the longer he held them, the more they felt like an extension of his hands, his will. He wasn't sure whether he ought to be envious of how Torin felt about magic, but certainly having opened his soul to his innate abilities felt intimate in an exciting way.

The elder man nodded slowly, the hand pillowing his face reaching out to close on the nape of Torin's neck. His burly boy got knotted sometimes, whether from his work or the worrying of his mind. He was rather rough with working it out, though his hand down below was merely firm.

"You're a good boy," he reminded him. "You've proven yourself responsible, and you will have what you need." He kneaded.

Aurin was still intrigued by the idea of an orchard of magical fruit. He would certainly try those tricks he didn't own, the better to see if they were worth investigating further. He wondered, too, if they might augment what he already owned, whether he might get a boost to his tricks after a little snack.
word count: 275
“I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions.
I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
User avatar
Torin Kilvin
Posts: 750
Joined: Wed Dec 16, 2020 12:54 am
Title: Runesmith
Location: Kalzasi
Character Sheet: https://ransera.com/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=1062
Character Secrets: viewtopic.php?t=4448

The boy nodded, nuzzling at the hand that moved across to cradle him as he passed his face to rub his neck. Being there, in Aurin's arms, accepting his praise, felt so good. This was how life was supposed to feel for people who did their best, cared for their land and those who relied on them. It was not exactly how Aurin felt, and probably this exact feeling would never be something that the older man felt. This had saddened Torin when he'd first realized it but lately he'd been coming to realize that everyone was different, wanted and needed different things. They could be similar, but they were never exactly the same, and that was alright. That Aurin might never feel complete contentment due to the horror of his past could still be something tragic without reducing the things that the redhead did want to have and feel.

Scooting closer till their were flush but not pressed against each other the blond began murmuring, flushed and shy but openly, his thoughts on just how Aurin might ensure he stayed within all the rules that were required for him to gain the new magic he wanted. As he did so his body responded to show what he thought of his suggestions and how very well they might motivate him. When he had finished the color in his cheeks was for a different reason than embarrassment, and he answered,

"You're my good master. I'm yours. Make me yours?" This fervent invitation was accompanied by a shifting in position that left no question as to exactly how he was hoping to be claimed. It would be the second time since they'd crawled into bed but it had been at least an hour since they had finished the first and they were both young still.

The conversation had gone well, if uncomfortable for both at points, and any lingering worry that he was causing discomfort was born away by the ease at which they reconnected again before falling to exhausted, but fulfilled sleep.
word count: 354
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Finn
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Experience: 10 xp, not available for magic.

Injuries: Extra tired the next day from too much shagging.

Loot: N/A

Note: Fun thread, though I didn't see where to go with another post since... this isn't the adult fun fun time forum. When you do your initiation thread, if you want Aurin (and Sivan?) there, I can get permission from a disinterested moderator.
word count: 87
we keep on churning and the lights inside the house turn on
and in our native language, we are chanting ancient songs
and when we quiet down, the house chants on without us
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